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Hello and welcome! I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster your Lord and Saviour. I boiled for
your sins. Today I have a very special guest that I'm sure you all have heard of. It's
the Devil himself! Hello, and welcome!
Laugh
So, Mister Devil...um...can I call you Lucifer?
Yes
OK Lucifer...tell us all what you're really about.
Well, I used to be an angel, but it got really boring always sitting around and worshipping
all day. An eternity is a real long time and I needed more in life.
What do you mean boring?
Well, up in heaven, you lose all your free will. I means it's nice and all, but you can't
go around sinning or any of that fun stuff. All you can do is sit around and pray or worship.
That gets old pretty fast.
There's nothing else up in heaven to do?
Nothing fun. Sure you can learn all there is to know, but what good is it? I mean if
you learn every language that ever exists, then what? Spend an eternity reading every
book that ever exists? What would you need to do that for? You're already in heaven...you
don't have to do anything else...There's nothing more to earn.
I see..so you got bored and left?
Yeah...I went off and sinned a little...you know had some fun.
Was it worth it?
Well...I guess in the long run it did. I mean I have my own place now, hell. God made it
just for me!
Yeah, but isn't it torture?
Nah...you get used to it. It's not so bad after a few thousand years. Considering all
the fun you can have here. I prefer it to boring heaven.
I see....so tell me, why you're so mean and evil?
You know....I don't understand why people think that of me. I don't go around killing
people. God is the one that caused the giant flood and killed all those innocent people,
not me! Yeah, good point...maybe you're not the evil
one after all!
Well, i don't care what people think of me. I live my life and I'm enjoying it. If you
don't like the way i live...too bad.
I'm the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I don't care how you live, Lucifer.
Well, thank you. I'm so happy I have this chance to be on your You Tube channel. Not
many people really know what I'm all about. I always get blamed when something terrible
happens in the world. It's so frustrating!
So, you're not to blame for all the evil things that happen?
Of course not! haven't you ever heard of free will? It's people who do good and bad. I have
nothing to do with it!
So people are the only ones responsible for evil?
Not just for evil. For all the good things that happen too! You think God has anything
to do with all the good things that happen? Funny how people want to give him all the
credit for the good things but never want to blame him when there's an earthquake or
a tornado. Sure, go and blame me! If I'm to blame, then why am I not called the all mighty
one?
Yeah, good point. God is called the all mighty and yet isn't responsible for all the evil
in the world. That doesn't make sense.
Think about it. If God was all mighty, he could get rid of me in a heartbeat. So either
he wants me to be around or he can't get rid of me. Go figure.
Yes, very interesting. We're running out of time. Is there anything else you'd like to
say?
Well, just live your lives the best you can. I mean if you treat others the way you want
o be treated, that should be good enough. Hey, if you do end up in hell with me, don't
worry. At least it's not boring here.
But there's really no evidence for any afterlife. Why should anybody believe that?
Well, that's the whole point. There really isn't an afterlife, but it's fun to think
there is. I made this whole thing up to trick you guys. As a matter of fact, I don't even
exist!
Wow! You sure have a lot of people fooled! Great job! Well Thanks for being on the show.
No problem it was an honor to be here. See you in hell!
Yeah...I get it! Take care Lucifer!