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We'll move to Ms. Lee, okay
Her topic is "From self-in-relation to self-in-self"
"A discussion on shelter management"
"and the recovery process"
Chi, colleagues, everyone good afternoon!
We need interpretation, so there's a lag!
The topic I want to talk about is:
"From self-in-relation to self-in-self"
What this topic means
this morning we heard
in a lot of countries as women mature
their self is formed out of lots of relationships
In childhood she lives within her parents' expectations
When she marries she lives within her husband's expectations
How can they come out of that self to be independent?
How can she pursue the life she wants?
In that process shelters play a crucial role
When they come to the shelter it's a chance to change
This morning I heard
stories that really touched me
My first job was in a shelter
After I graduated from college I came to GOH
In my 1st year of college
because our CEO came to my university
to talk about the Foundation
so see the gap between us!
In my 1st year of college she came to give us a speech
I felt her organization was working for women
Gender equality seems to be well advanced in Taiwan
but how equal do you think we are?
I'll give you an example
I'm in my 30s so my mother asks me
When are you going to get married?
So I ask her
Are you happily married?
She says she's not happy
So why do you want me to marry?
That's because I've had a good education
I had the chance to think about how to live my life
I know marriage isn't the only choice
But many women don't
necessarily have that opportunity
That's my experience. But no!
Why should life in Taiwan be like another world?
That's the situation in Taiwan
I think that's a common story
So I want to start from here
I'll start by looking at the history of Taiwan's shelters
As Sr. Therese said Taiwan's earliest shelter started in 1989
in 1992 the first government-sponsored privately run shelter
was contracted to Good Shepherd
from then until 1998
after the DV Act the government ruled
municipalities must establish shelters
So from 1998 Taiwan's cities and counties started to have shelters
GOH's first DV shelter started in 2001
We were heavily involved in setting up the DV Act
the government provided funding
but no one else was qualified
So GOH started in 2001
That's when I got my first job
So I'm very grateful to GOH!
I'll keep working here!
But although the law was in place
how it would be managed was never confirmed
Even though municipalities had funding
and municipalities were legally required to establish shelters
but municipalities had limited resources
so service quality was uneven from municipality to municipality
Taipei City could shelter women for 3-6 months, even a year
but municipalities in South Taiwan
One women from Chiayi came to our Taipei shelter
we told Chiayi County Government
one of your residents is here so we're going to shelter her
they said: Okay. But 3 days maximum.
"3 days! After 3 days where will she go?"
We asked for an extension. They said OK.
"She can stay as long as 7 days - 1 week"
I thought, "Is this Taiwan?"
"Is this what's become of our country?"
We told them, but they had no budget
We felt the woman needed shelter
so our Foundation didn't restrict her
although we had a law
there were big differences in local implementation
In 2008 with the support of the DV Prevention Committee and others
currently we have a consensus
the shelter period should be 2 weeks to 3 months
or even 6 months
but it still varies from municipality to municipality
So in practical application
everyone needs to look carefully at how
we can apply that good intention to reality
So Taiwan's shelters have a 20-year history
We hope our services will include the following:
(1) Self-help and mutual help
(2) Self-determination, (3) Empowerment
With that in mind, how do we apply this to our shelter management?
I want to show you a statistic
that shows our limitations
Some don't have the money to let women shelter for long
We have a shelter but the women don't stay for long
Our figures show the average shelter stay is 1.5 months
So 50% of women stay for 2 weeks to 1 month before leaving
around 13% stay for over 3 months
around 14%
Most figures are in that range
But what insight or meaning does this statistic have?
We have such good facilities and staff to serve them
but women appear to have reservations about using these services
Director *** looked at it from the women's perspective
because they certainly have many reservations
When making a decision about their relationship
It's not as simple as giving them a place to stay and help
They have their reservations
and conflicts
I want to look at this from two angles
We have to think from the women's perspective
What do they actually need?
(1) When a women leaves a relationship what does she experience internally?
and from this perspective, what else can our shelter do?
This is adapted from overseas research
When a women is deciding to stay or leave a relationship
she is internally conflicted
The most obvious is emotional changes
Many women start in denial
and anger
then make demands
Leaving a relationship can also be heartbreaking
until she accepts it
That's a process
so you'll go through different states
and meet women in different stages
when she's in the bargaining stage she'll argue with you
which will make you think this woman is very demanding
Is it worth helping her?
I think without doubt she needs help
but in the process she must deal with many emotions
Other women may be in the depressed stage
She realizes leaving her husband
is very difficult
But we think: Why are you so downcast?
We've given you so much support
Why don't you leave your relationship?
People, don't doubt that your work is still valuable
I think their emotional stage is totally understandable
because it's a repetitive process
Behind it is a sense of loss
the loss of her relationship
and in Taiwan, if a woman is beaten
it's not her husband who must leave
she is forced to leave familiar surroundings
Because of safety concerns
women are usually not sheltered in their own communities
They have to move to a distant community
Is that a protection or a punishment?
I've been thinking about this problem in Taiwan
the person who's forced to move out should be the perpetrator not the victim
But we haven't reached that stage in Taiwan
They have many reservations and must adjust to new situations
and under those circumstances, I think
let's see the next slide
When they want to leave home
they decide they can escape violence
including taking legal action
The legal route is not the only problem
When she files charges it brings in two families
including her parental family
and her husband's family
I knew a woman who took legal action
when we met at the court
a witness for the husband was the woman's mother
The woman's mother testified for the husband that her daughter was wrong
Thankfully our Taiwanese judge was well informed
and said, I don't accept your witness
So the judge is very important
It's important to talk to judges. They're getting better
In recent years we've been working in courts
to help judges understand these power relationships
A woman will first go to her parental family for help
to testify for her up
So we were shocked to see her mother there
She was there to testify for the perpetrator that her daughter had depression
she was mentally unstable, which is why her husband did that
So, what I want to say
From the perspective of societal culture and the family
a woman who leaves home has to face so many issues
For a woman
My women often ask me
Do you think I should leave or go back?
I tell her
I think going back will be easier
leaving will be harder
If she leaves she'll have to find another job
find another house, face her family
face her friends
I tell her, you're asking me a question
Many think we always tell sheltered women to divorce
When we go to court, the husband always says:
the husband won't threaten the woman
he'll threaten us. He says we're home breakers
we'll get bad karma in the next life
We can just smile and say "Thank you"
I believe in God so I don't believe in reincarnation.
So going back is easier for them.
I think leaving is the harder way
Facing those problems
What can our shelter do?
I want to put foward an opinion
One scholar says people who change do so on 3 levels
(1) Her issues or problems change
(2) Structural and systematic change
(3) Emotional change
For the first change we can see the shelter offers individual case services
including the very basic
she goes from being unable to write to writing her lawsuit
defense and litigation
Many women from overseas
we start by teaching her how to take a bus
to where she works
The social worker has to go there and back with her
When she leaves the shelter and moves into a new place
she's totally lost, so the social workers takes her shopping
and trains her to get to know the neighborhood
We have to do so many things
Is that professional? The textbook doesn't teach you to take cases grocery shopping
but we know step by step the woman is getting a new chance
How about groups?
We're the same. We tell women
to share and encourage each other
so they mutually understand
We welcome women who have left the shelter to come back to join group sessions
They can testify that some people can leave like that
They don't say they live happily ever after once they leave. No.
When they come back they often cry.
They're lonely. They have no one to talk to when they go back at night.
Other people comfort them and the shelter becomes another place of support
Those things add to women's realization
they know choosing independence
is not for me, but for her self
She has a chance to think about how to live her life
and what new options she has
The 3rd point I want to stress because this is a very effective GOH method
which is change on the spiritual level.
We started to have spiritual counselors bring church support to shelters to help the women
as a Japanese speaker just said
sometimes physical harm heals quickly
but emotional trauma is hard to see
so giving her spiritual support
is very important and very effective
I can counsel her many times
but a minister's prayer, a priest or nun's blessing
is very comforting for her
She can see, although she has some issues to deal with
she is empowered by the belief that her life is valuable
I think a sense of worth
I think a sense of worth
can help her overcome pain and other situations she can't change
The crucial spiritual and emotional level
is a very important entry point for shelters
because we meet them at their weakest and most chaotic point when they come to the shelter
We try to stabilize their emotional and mental state
to give them space to think about their next step
That's very important work
Finally I want to talk about integration of external resources
As *** said, it's very difficult for her to rebuild her life
Rebuilding is very hard
Sometimes I want to say: "Go home. It's easy."
As long as she is protected, going home is easy for us.
Far from leaving our support network
you must help her find work
sort out her children's schooling
they must get used to a new school
and stop their father finding them at school
we need to work with the school system
Often the children have problems at school
because growing up in that kind of home
Okay. 3 minutes!
is very difficult
so we must often talk to the school counselor, their teachers, form tutor
to tell them the child needs special attention and care
Every small change takes a lot of support and preparation
They think they're just changing schools. But we had a meeting with the teacher in summer to inform them
Recently we had a problem
We told the school the child was transferring
but the class teacher changed
One day when the child didn't come to school and the school telephoned his former home to tell his father
We worked so hard, but one mistake and we put the woman in danger
To connect all the dots
takes a lot out of the social workers
Okay. Service goals
These are important first to help her gain a new understanding of her self
Second, to help her rediscover her value
and make her own decisions
Making decisions is very powerful
Next slide.
In shelter management it's important to create an environment where women can make their own choices
and in shelter management, we try to make an elegant,
warm and friendly environment
GOH invests a lot in this
We pay a lot of attention to creating an atmosphere, an ambience
We spend a lot of money. Redecorating a shelter cost NT$4-5m.
Okay. Last minute.
Why is the decor important?
Many women who come to the shelter say, when the door opens
her first impression is she knows we want to help her
Before arriving they imagine the shelter is like a refugee camp
they'll be with all sorts of people
One mother told her child
"We're going to a crowded place"
"You'll have to be fast, polite, and not play around"
So the pair turned up like they were going to army camp.
When she opened the shelter door she saw it looked like home
Not what she imagined.
The people inside were so friendly
and she knew this was a home where she could stay
How can we create an environment
that tells women they can shelter here
That's an area we must work on.
Finally, a possible vision for shelters regarding our future development
I've talked a lot about internal management
but women only stay for 1.5 months on average
so our work has to extend to her community
Effective community campaigns and management is also very important
In Taiwan after women leave a shelter we hold a lot of reunions
so they can regularly come back
to join events and stay in touch
they don't feel no one will back them up after they leave
We make the shelter like their second home
Next is their empowerment plan
When some women leave and stabilize their lives
they think about finishing college
In the past she couldn't complete her education
but going through that, she knows she can restart life. That's something we must do.
Okay. Thank you!
Thank you Ms. Lee. So you can see how difficult (it is) for women to step out of violence.
and social work is a very (great) support for women