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Oh god, I hope this movie isn't going to be a bloody mess!
(Selene, narrating) I was held captive for 12 years.
(male voice) Subject who escaped is somewhere in the building.
Freeze!
(Selene, narrating) Now, humans hunt the lycans and vampires.
This...is a new war.
(Tommy) If you're looking for that action movie with little character development,
and no story, have I got a movie for you.
♪
Kate Beckinsdale as Selene.
You know, they didn't give here a whole lot to do, but when she spoke...
Why are you following me?
(Tommy) ...she was terrific.
The second best performance in this movie probably has to go to India Eisley.
She's the little girl.
Do you not know who I am?
As much as those two were great, ...
my god were there some horrible performances in this one.
Michael Ealy as Detective Sebastian -
(Sebastian) What happened?
What happened?
(Sebastian) I repeat, what happened?
A little emotion, please?
Who's in charge?
And when he's on camera with other people,
he brings them down to his level.
Ah, yes.
Oops.
♪
Seems like the best part of this movie is left to the special effects.
I mean, my sighted friends really, really enjoyed it.
Want to see how it works for me?
[click]
(Tommy) Okay, so she's lighting a cigarette.
[clinking]
(Tommy) She's got the Zippo lighter there.
♪
See, when the music gets louder, that means a lot is happening.
Something great is going on.
Hey, watch it like I do.
[click]
[man yelling]
[explosion]
(Tommy) Oh, see? They're smoking inside.
Go outside with that thing.
[more pounding, explosions]
(Tommy) Who's gonna clean all this up?
Imagine that for 90 minutes?
I didn't have to, I was there.
Move!
So, for Underworld Awakening, I'm going 1 out of the 4 eyes open.
A couple of nice performances,
but no story, no character development, no fun.
Colon left paren.
♪ [BFC Bumper music]
♪
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Today's question for you to comment below,
What is the best of the Underworld movies?
I'm Tommy Edison, the Blind Film Critic.
I think they mis-titled this one.
Instead of The Awakening, this one should have been The Asleepening.