Nostalgia Komrade - The jackal - 1997 - Kranberries

Welcome to Nostalgia Komrade. Today we are looking at Jackal. The credits use a lot of scenery from Soviet documentaries, depicting the rise and fall of Soviet Union and the criminal hell that emerged right afterwards. Since these are documentaries, nothing to complain about. But the very first shot after the credits is a kranberry. Look at that cathedral! That is a very unique church, as most Russian churches has golden domes. This one has coloured. There is a similar coloured cathedral in St Petersburg, but this is definitely St Basil’s. That makes it the center of Moscow, and there’s no dingy apartments in the heart of Russia! In fact, there aren’t any apartments at all – only the Kremlin, the Moskva River, the Red Square and two large shopping malls built before Soviet revolution of early twentieth century. The club name misses one letter, making it sound very funny. But even it was spelled correctly, the name is idiotic anyway. That’s московский, an adjective meaning from Moscow or belonging to Moscow. I agree that a city can have a city-themed club, but that has to be the name of some other city! Imagine a Parisian club in Paris or New-Yorkish club in New-York. I always enjoy watching 40-year-old MILFs dancing in clubs, let alone 40-year-old dudes. I mean, why in the movies club goers are so old? In Russia, dance floors are occupied mostly by teenagers, and young people not older than twenty-five. When you’re thirty or forty, you should be worrying about your own kids going to the clubs…or building a career… but definitely not dancing your *** of in the club. Major Kozlova? Soviet Union was one of the first countries to proclaim full equality of men and women, and that’s why Russian have a history of not taking all that feminist *** too seriously. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of women hold very high ranks in business and government, but still, there are some jobs requiring a *** to be performed well. And a police and military strike force is clearly one of them. This is as stupid as a male kindergarten nurse. And the movie actually proves why a woman should not be a police operative. The shop says “Arbat Lights”. Arbat is an actual street in Moscow and one of the most popular tourist attractions, but there is absolutely no way you can see the St Basils’ cathedral from there. He actually sounds decent. Every high rank in the MVD seems to be speaking fluent English. It’s the same as expecting all US officials to speak fluent Spanish, and moreover, conducting internal meetings in a foreign language. I don’t know why the movie won no awards, since a similar scene is what made Brokeback Mountain get lots of acclaim. Perhaps the Jackal producers should also add some Bruce Willis buttsecks or at least make the other guy black. This completes this review. See you next time. 47