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Then finally we get married.
Then the wife controls us.
Then the daughter comes, the
son we had a fight.
The father we had a fight,
brother we had a fight.
But the wife difficult.
Daughter more difficult.
So we want liberation from
you. It is not that you
are controlling us It is
we are controlling you,
you are controlling us.
What is the, why the
husband comes between the
mother and the wife,
mother and the wife.
Because the mother controls
the same. She, she wants
to control her sonÖ
And then the wife say
I want to control you.
So we are always in
a problem. So we want
liberty. So that is how
they kill their children
psychologically. Unconsciously,
remember, Iím using
the word. We are not
doing deliberately, unconsciously.
All the feelings and the hurts
are passed to the child.
Husband said something, they
got fight, -and the child
was there. The child heard
those cries. Small boy.
He didnít like that and my
mother got hurt. Her canít
go against the father but
heís hurt. When he grows
he will stand against the
father. Who are you? My
mother. And so again they
are in problem. So what I
am trying to say this is
the psychological killing.
At the same time, the
physical killing is aÖ
Iíve heard, Iím not sure
about it. They say this
child is now very adorable
and this and that and Iíve
given this boy Iíve got Ö
if heís God willingÖthey
throw him from a mountain
the child into the water.
It is Allahwala or Godís one
heíll be not killed.
If heís wrong he will die.
There are many ways of
killin children, believe me.
Physical. They send it to
the orphanage. This boy he
wasÖMaulana saying the
child, the boy, you give
the boy to us.
If some women are not
having children, some women,
husband and wife are not
having children, they go and
consult some people.
And they say you have
got a child, you have
to give the child to us.
So there are various in
the rural areas, there
are rife for killing going
on physical killing I am
talking about. The there
is another problem with
the womens
(Arabic text)
And they will not come
with the slander/false
charge, inventing for that
which is between their
hands and legs That means
women also put a false
charge on men. And these
men donít know this.
Believe me, we have to
understand from the Quraían -
that his man may be
innocent. And this woman
said this man is after me.
So we will not, we will
not listen to anything.
They start fighting with
this man - why are you
doing all this? There are
times that women put
a false charge on men.
And women - in the Quraían
thereís a big example in
Surah Yusuf. Azizís wife put
a charge on Yusuf. (pbuh).
And she was a married
woman. So that is why
Allah says this also
habit of woman that when
I was a young I was
beautiful, every guy was
after me. Maybe some
but not every guy.
So you know there are
different ways of putting
charges on men.
Men may like some women,
men may not like women,
all the womenÖall the
men donít like every woman.
So this is theÖthe woman
has theÖhabit of putting
a charge. And they will
not disobey the prophet,
by the prophet. And they
will not in that which is
acknowledge or recognize, then
have a deal with them and
seek forgiveness from Allah.
So in these verses, in this
verse we must understand,
theyÖthis is a contract or
a deal between the prophet
and the believing women,
who believe. Remember (momina)
not ordinary women who
believe in the Allahís ayahs,
who believe in the Quraían,
who believe that we have
to follow strictly to these
rules. So this is a matter
of belief. That is how
and why we will follow
ayahs and Allahís guidance.
That is the lecture is for
taking guidance from the ayats.
Otherwise you are not taking
any guidance. So this is
why I read this ayat first,
that the prophet, Allah is
asking the prophet to have
a deal with those women
who are believing women.
So if they believe they must
not do this because this is
their weaknesses Allah has
expose. Generally they intend
to do, they fall into these
traps by the devil.
They might steal, they may
do adultery or fornicate.
They may kill their children,
all what Iíve read - steal,
this, they come into this
trap. So the believing
women should have a deal,
a contract with the prophet.
Now prophet through the ayat,
you can understand. In the
past or in this present also.
You must have confidence
and you must take an
oath or have a deal with
the prophet - Allah forgive
me for my past, from now
onward I will, I am making
a deal with you.
And then make a deal with
the prophet and do not
do it. Do it. So this ayat,
from the beginning I
read it just to tell you
that all the ayats in the
future that I will read
specifically for the believing
women, those who believe.
Thos who do not believe
may listen. But it wonít
affect them. It is for
the believing women and men.
So now I am reading those
ayahs that are related to
believing men and women.
First of all I will read
the, what is the psychologically
how the women are, what
is the psychological personality
Allah has described for women.
In Surah Al-e-Imran 3:14
Adornment for people and
the love of desires for
women and sons and heaped up
heaps of gold and silver and
marked horses and cattles
and cultivated land that is
the enjoyment of worldly
life and the beautiful resort
is near Allah. In this ayah
the only point that I am
going to make is that the
adornment for men and
women both, adornment for
men and women both is the
love of desires from women
and then sons and then gold
and etc. etc. I will, there
are other things that every
man and woman wants to have -
gold. Every man and woman
would like to have silver,
every man and woman would
like to have cattles with him
or the marked horses.
They like to have. This is the
enjoyment in the worldly life.
The point Iím from here,
I derive is, that the women for
men and women are adornment -
adornment. Adornment that a
man that looks upon a woman
heís pleased, heís happy.
And a woman looks upon
a woman, she looks at her
and sheís also making each
other happy. They are adornment,
they are beautification, they
are like gold. You look at a
gold and you look at a coal.
Would you like to, are you
attracted toward the coal?
No. But you like to
have gold. What is happening
to you towards the gold?
Itís not ***, it is liking.
You like to have horses.
So what I am saying is,
similarly, women are adornment.
So now physically and psychologically
Allah has made them adornment,
men and women - they like
to please. They like to and
we must appreciate theÖ
because if Iíve got a gold
and youíll see the woman
wear golds, right? The women
wearÖso theyÖshow the
gold to who? To other
people. I am wearing thisÖ
because for men is also
gold heís wearing.
Sheís wearing a chain,
sheís wearing a chain or this
and thisÖof gold. So menís
eyes also go to the gold,
women eyes also go more
appreciatingly to that gold
sheís, this woman is wearing.
So gold is an adornment.
Similarly, women is an adornment -
for both sexes. Men and -
so she must know that Allah
has made her adornment for
both sexes. So you must
understand by the Quraían
It is the men who have to
admire women. It is always,
when you look for a girl,
you must admire or marry
that girl whom you like.
And all your life you admire -
because they want to be adorned.
They want to make you happy,
you have to keep on
admiring her, pleasing her
all the time. This is their life
psyche. If you do to the
man, he may like it
sometime but not all the time.
Giving presents, woman likes it.
So what I am saying is
this is the basic adornment we
must understand. The women are
the adornments. So you must
understand, this is the conclusive
understanding by the ayahs that
the woman are the adornments.
So men should adorn them,
thatís the natural process.
If it goes the reverse, thatís
something wrong with the
women or the men.
So now this is the psychological
behavior of the women,
that she want to be adorned
or admire, sheís adornment,
we must admire them.
Surah Al Noor 24: 37
Men are those whom neither
business, nor deal/contracts
diverts them from the
remembrance of Allah and to
establish the salah/prayer and
to give zakah/justification.
They fear a day when the
hearts and insights will be
turned about. Now this
ayah is describing the behavior
of men in the sights of Allah.
They will do business,
they will do deals, they
will do, enter into contracts.
That is the behavior of men.
That they will do either
what kind of a contract Ö
Even if I am doing a job,
so thereís a deal or a contract
between the boss and me.
So this is a deal or a
contract between men to men.
So men will generally in
the ayahs, will work.
They will have deals,
either contract or business
or deal. But in the eyes of
God Allah says the men
will do this - this business
deals or Öbut they will
not divert from the remembrance
of Allah. That is the
description, behavior of believing
men. In spite of the fact
they are involved in business,
in spite of the fact they are
doing some deals, big financial
deals,. But they will not be
diverted from the remembrance
of Allah. That is the character
trait of a believing men according
to ayats of Allah.
And Iíve been doing and
discussing this kind of lectures
from so many times and
there are certain ladies I
cam across generally, most
of time, they say we
would like to learn and read
and understand and Quraían
but our husbands are too
busy in their businesses.
They cannot come and learn Quraían.
So according to Quraían they
are not men basically Men,
described by Allah, are those
they will do business,
they will do contracts but the
will never forget the
remembrance of Allah.
Thatís the most important thing
in theÖfor them.
That is what ayah says.
An establish salah/the prayer
and give zakah/the justification.
They fear the day when the
hearts and insights will be
turned about. They are fearful
from Allah. So we are not
disputing they donít do
business. They donít do big
deals. But the fact they
donít divert themselves from
the remembrance of Allah.
So husbands should know,
the men should know that
for you it is more important.
Donít get too much involved
into businesses and into deals.
Allah will bestow you money,
thatís not a big issue.
But forgetting your wife,
you go and study Quraían,
you do this and you do that.
Let us do what we want to do.
according to the ayahs
of Quraían, men are those -
look, this is description - masculine
description, male description - that
they will do business, they
will do deals. But they
will not forget the remembrance
of Allah, forget the zakah,
so they should be more
inclined to Allah what Allah
is bestowing on them in
deals and businesses.
They should be more involve
in comparison to women.
Because all the messengers
were males, prophets, men.
It is the menís duty to take
up this and guide women.
It is not the other way round.
Now women are adornment,
men are doing business and deals.
Now I will discuss the husband
and wife relationship I
told you, first the ***
aspect. Before I discuss, Allah
has given us, you know
this is very unique thing,
they say., that I discuss Quraían,
people say there is no mention
the Quraían the timings
of prayers., what time we
should pray. There are no
times. Allah has described
the timings of prayers also
and Allah has described the
timings of *** relationship also.
What time a man and woman
have *** relations, thatís the
time that is mentioned this ayah.
Surah Noor 24: 58
O you who believe, those
whom your right possesses
and those among you who
have no reach puberty
(*** maturity) ask permission
from you three times before
fajr/dawn prayer and in
the afternoon and when
you take off your garments
and after the ishaa prayers/night
prayer three times of
pudendum/genitals *** relations
for you. Apart from these timings,
there is no fault on you or
on them that you move
about to one another likewise
Allah clarifies ayats/signs
for you and Allah is Knowing,
Wise. So in this ayat Allah
is telling, again for the
believing men and women,
that there are 3 timings
in which you take off
your clothes - for what?
For relationship. *** relationship.
Now look at this timings.
Is before the fajr.
That means after the ishaa
till fajr, before the fajr prayer.
After ishaa and before the
fajr prayer, the whole night.
And in the afternoon the ayat
doesnít say but Iím saying,
itís between zohr and asr prayer.
Because if you go to Arab
world after zohr the offices
are closed. The men they
go back to the houses.
And after Asr prayers they
come again because thatís
the evening starts.
So the afternoon is from
zohr till the asr.
The ayat doesnít say but
I am telling you.
These are the 3 timings
Allah has provided you
to have this kind of
relationship - 3 timings of
*** relationship.
In Arabic it means, you
can check up with dictionary,
(Arabic text)
aura means in Arabic pudendum.
Itís a *** connotation and
*** part of a woman,
mentioned the Quraían.
And they write it, it is
a 3 times of your undress.
They feel shy of writing this.
What is thisÖAllah
says aura/pudendum, you
write that. Translated word
from the word. So that
people should understand.
Sop Allah says
(Arabic text)
means 3 times of - for this
timeÖyou can have this allowed.
In these timings theÖ or the
malikatul imanakum peopleÖthey
have to ask permission in your
vicinity wherever you are in
the room. Why? Because you are
maybe indulging in this act.
So there askÖthey are said
to ask the permission in
these three timings. Other
than these 3 timings Allah
is expecting that you are not
involved into any act.
So Heís saying that it is no
harm other than 3 timings
that they do no ask permission,
they can move about to
each other. So now the
people are asking that means,
when Allah is prescribe
these 3 timings, can we
have relationship other than
these 3 timings? O f course
you may have these kind
of relationship other than
three timings but the
timings that Allah is
prescribing you, that is
the best timing. Because normally,
whenever if you see I
told you we are a
combination of intelligence and emotions.
Whenever you get up
in the morning, after the
fajr prayers, you look, your
brain starts working.
Your feelings are subsided.
Intelligent, you want to do
some work. The women wants
to do some Öin the house
affairs., start working that
I have to do thisÖthe
men go to the offices and
their mind is there.
Even in the breakfast they are
thinking in the office -
this is what I have to do
and I have to do this.
And as the afternoon comes,
the intelligence comes down.
And the emotions start rising again.
So Allah says,
in the afternoon prayers in
the Arab world they go
to the house. Finish, no work.
And in there, the offices
are there. Nobody works in
the after lunch there.
Somebody goes in the afternoon
and says, look I have come
here for this, come tomorrow.
Heís not interested in the work.
So in the afternoon till asr,
again the feelings are up.
But after the Maghreb or
after asr again the mind,
if you take one hour for
nap and then you see other
again your intelligence isÖ
intelligence start working.
Till the midnight, sorry,
after Maghreb again the
intelligence goes down and
now the emotions are
maximumly higher. All the
crimes that are committed,
all the wrong evils that
are projected because in the
night the emotions are more
dominating than the intelligence.
The night life. The night club.
No the day club, the night club.
All the robberies and drinking
and gambling, all things occur
in the night life.
So they give the name
night life. So in the
Quraían Allah says,
in the night you
read the Q uraían.
You know this ayat?
Surah Muzammil.
Half of the night.
You know by Surah Muzammil 1-3 ayats.
One fourth of the night,
three fourth of the night,
one third of the night,
read the Quraían. Why? Because
in the night Allah knows our
emotions are worked up,
they can easily be diverted
by the devil, the Satan
into wrong acts.
So that is why Allah is
asking most of the night
you read the Quraín.
Surah Muzammil, that is a
cross-reference,
Surah Muzammil 1-3 ayat.
So these were the 3 timings.
Now if you move to
Surah Baqara 2: 187 p. 9 & 10
It is lawful for you to
be indecent, to have
obscene talks to your
women in the night of
the fast, they are a
covering for you and
you are a covering for them.
Allah knows that you
betrayed your souls ,
so He returns over you
and pardoned you about it
so accompany them and
seek what Allah has written
for you, and eat and drink
until from dawn the
white thread clarifies for
you from the black thread.
Then complete the fast towards
the night and you do not
accompany them when you
are devoted in the mosques.
They are the boundaries of
Allah so you do not go
near them. Likewise Allah
clarifies His ayats/signs for
people so they may take guard.
In this whole verse there are
two three parts or portions
that are describe about the
fasting, what time we
have to fast and whatÖ
I will discuss those aspect
in this whole in this verse
which are related for married life.
The first was the three timings.
We have come to know the
three timings. In this
ayahs Allah is saying it is
lawful for you to be
indecent or to have obscene
talk or ribaldry with your
woman, with your wife.
The Arabic is Rafasa The
translation of Rafasa is
obscene talks, ribaldry or indecent.
When we do, when we
can have this permission
granted by Allah is in
the Quraían, it is referring
to the night of the fast.
Generally what happened
the Rzmzan - holy month
of R amzan - so in the
daytime when we are
fasting we are not
allowed to have any
relationship with our wife.
So Allah is permitting us
even in the night
of the fast.
So the people still today
do not have kind of
relationship in the whole
month because they think
it is wrong to have because
itís a holy month.
So Allah is giving us the
permission to have even
obscene - not obscene -
when we have obscene
talk or ribaldry with
our wife? It is a
prerequisite of a ***
relationship. It is a
prerequisite of *** relationship.
meaning that kind of talk
that leads to have a
relationship. Now what is
happening that some of
the people - because most
of thee people in the
whole - if you look at t
he translation - the Quraían
they have not translated
this word Rafasa in this ayah.
They have not translated.
And in a place rafasa has
occurred in Hajj. They
have translated there .
When youíre going for
Hajj do not have rafasa.
(Arabic text)
They translated there.
But here nobody translated.
So I am translating to educate
you that you can have
relationship rafasa in the
night of the fast with
your wife. So now Allah
says the same, Allah says
further, they are a covering
to you and you are a
covering for them. Means libas.
What libas? First of all,
any husband should not speak
about his wife in his,
in her absence or the
wife should not speak
about her husband in his
absence except for counseling
to somebody else.
They are a covering of each
other and specially the
obscene talk. Specially the -
because Allah is saying,
telling, the ayah says it
is lawful for you to be
indecent, to have obscene
talks to your women in
the night of the fast.
We are a covering for you.
And you are a covering
of them. Meaning youíre
start saying I am delivering
a lecture. I am speaking
about Quraíanic ayat.
If suppose my wife says
something about the
indecent talk that I have
during a particular time,
that may look odd - what
kind of Mohammed Sheikh is this?
Because that is a separate
situation and Allah is
permitting you to have
that kind of relationship.
So there is a time and
place for everything.
So you cannot become so
religious that you donít
even speak anything wrong -
my wife is saying about me.
Allah is giving you permission.
So that is what Allah
says in the ayat.
Further and Allah knows
that you betrayed yourselves
and He returns over you
and pardoned you about it.
Meaning you did not
speak any obscene talk
with your wife - it is a
requirement. It is most
important for men to
have this particular
talks at a particular time -
the times that Iíve
already discussed. And if
youíre not having, youíre
doing with some other girl -
outside marriage - that dirty talk.
Do it with your wife in
required form. So Allah
say He pardoned you - you
betrayed your souls.
Meaning you didnít do
it with your wife,
you do it somewhere else.
Heís asking you,
He pardoned you.
He returned over you
and pardoned you so now
accompany them and seek
for what Allah has
written for you.
So that means Allah has
written down that the
husband can have this kind
of ribaldry or indecent
talk in those three timings
before the *** relationship.
So they are - you go into
that phase or mood,
yourself and the wife to
have a good relationship,
healthy *** relationship.
That is an education of how
to have this small little phases
Allah is telling us. Heís
not writing books of sex.
Little, little books, little points.
You just get educated,
thatís all - what we
have to do. So now,
and further, I am not describing
the and do not get accompany
them when you are devoted
in the mosques. Meaning
once men are sitting in
the ehtekaf in the mosque
in the month of Ramzan,
in the month of the last ten
nights then men are ,
go visit in the mosque in
the ehtekaf - mean you
are devout in the mosque.
So once you are in the mosque,
in the last month of Ramzan,
in the month of Ramzan,
last ten nights, youíre
looking for the lailatul qadr,
itís a separate topic - issue.
I am just giving you the
reference when youíre
sitting in thatÖmen are
sitting in the ehtekaf so
women should, at that
time youíre not allowed
indecent talk or even ***
relationship. When men
is sitting in a mosque and
ehtekaf and heís devout
in a mosque - heís in contact
with Allah, Allahís accompanying
trying to understand Allahís message.
In the mosque youíre
not allowed. Itís forbidden.
Formally saying. Otherwise Allah
has permitted you in the
night of the fast of
month of Ramzan. Specially
Allah says while the month
of Ramzan - because people
are betraying their souls
especially in the month of Ramzan,
thinking that this is a holy
month and it is the whole
month we should not have
any kind of indecent talks
or even *** relationship
because itís a holy month.
So Allah has permitted you.
So from these ayahs we
have come to know 3 times
of the sex, what are the
timings and before the
*** act we must know
how to do ribaldry and
obscene talks. I donít have
to educate you. You know it.
Al Baqara 2: 222
And they question you about
the menstruations. Say, it is
a hurt/anxiety, so detach the
women in the ***
and you do not go near
them until they are purified
so when they are purified
then come to them from
where Allah has ordered you.
Surely Allah loves those
who returns and He loves
those who purify. Now
we men