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>> [Music] Structure is all the things we do in our homes
to make our children feel safe and comfortable.
Routines can help us add structure to our homes.
>> Structure definitely helps kids feel safe and secure
because it helps them understand what's coming next.
It helps make their lives more predictable.
>> There are four steps to creating a routine.
Step one, identify a routine that works for your family.
Think of all the things that should be part of the routine
and in what order they should occur.
It may be helpful to create routines around key times
of the day such as getting ready for bed or mealtimes.
Keep in mind that the routine should work for the whole family
and not just your child.
>> So it is important that we take time as parents
and make a plan or a schedule or a structure or something
that we agree on so that, again, that moment it makes it easier
to access those particular strategies that you
as parents want to use.
>> Step two, explain the routine.
Make sure your child knows what you want him to do
and when you want him to do it.
Simple charts with pictures can help your child remember what
to do.
Young children may also need to be told and reminded what to do.
Step three, follow the routine.
Your child may not always want to follow the routine,
especially when it means ending playtime or going to bed.
It may also be difficult for you as a parent
to always follow the routine.
It may be harder when you are tired or stressed.
Whenever possible, stick to the routine.
This will help your child know what you want
and do what you ask.
>> Kids will challenge and test structure, and I think part
of parenting is thinking about what's happening
and why it's happening.
And sometimes kids will challenge structure or refuse
to do something to kind of test a system.
>> Step four, use consequences.
If your child resists following the routine,
remind him there may be a consequence.
For instance, say if you don't come
to the dinner table you will not have playtime tonight.
You can also try rewarding your child for following the routine.
Be consistent with the routine
and let your child know you expect it to be followed.
A tip to keep in mind when using structure,
just because you have a routine doesn't mean you can't be
flexible and do other things when something comes up.
When the routine changes,
let your child know about the change.
This will let your child know what is happening
and what you want them to do.
>> There's this balance between creating structure
and not creating a level of rigidity that doesn't allow kids
to explore, that doesn't allow for unexpected things to happen,
either to you or to your kid.
>> Having structure helps your child understand what you want
him to do which can lead to good behavior.
[ Music ]