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Your heart is promised to a man, and so I have no hope to win it.
But consider my proposal, sir, if you can find a minute.
I think the future of our species would be better with you in it.
I know you have your problems, and maybe I have mine.
But you should leave someone to carry on when you have turned to dust,
and plant your genome in an infant, sir. I think it's only just.
And you would need someone to bear this child, a woman you can trust.
Mr Stephen Fry, I see no reason why
you wouldn't want someday, maybe, to let me have your baby.
You would be amazed what science does these days,
So think it over... and tell me what you think.
I am ideal for this position, which I hope you will not doubt.
I've got those child-bearing hips you always hear so much about.
I have permission from my boyfriend, and he'd like to help you out.
I know it isn't much, but it's what I have to give.
And I don't drink and I don't smoke and I eat all my leafy greens.
I'll try to go to bed much earlier. I'll get all my vaccines.
And I'll put headphones on my belly, and I'll cut back on caffeine.
I'll hang an iPad in the crib.
Oh Stephen Fry, I see no reason why,
you wouldn't want someday maybe, to let me have your baby.
I'm in my prime, so you've got loads of time.
So when you're ready... let me know what you think.
You deserve to reproduce, and I was built to procreate.
I hope my womb can be of use. So, think it over. I can wait.
And one day if you're sure of it, then I can be your surrogate.
You wouldn't want someday, maybe, to let me have your baby,
We adore you, dear, I come before you here, To be the only woman you will ever need.
And my fertility is nearly guaranteed,
'Cause I have all the tools that you require to breed!
So send along your seed.