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[Summon the Rawk - Kevin MacLeod]
EJ: *garbled*
NJKB: Oh, they're all behind us. EJ: Hello.
NJKB: Okay, we both shot that thing three times each and it did not die.
NJKB: That was ridiculous-oh? EJ: Wow, dude.
EJ: That guy was killed already? NJKB: Yeah. EJ: We're on normal, c'mon, it's not that bad.
EJ: It's just like when you have
EJ: 27 monsters gang *** you in the corner.
NJKB: Oh, we've got a fatty over here.
EJ: I'm coming! NJKB: Watch behind ya.
EJ: Oh, I know.
EJ: They're trying to steal my lunch money. NJKB: I'm tryin' to help ya!
NJKB: OH-HOH! That was nice!
EJ: I'm grabbin' some ammo-unitions.
EJ: Yoink. NJKB: That was quite possibly the coolest thing I have ever record-
NJKB: OH GOD! EJ: Whoa! Big fat guy! Holy crap.
EJ: Oh my god, there's like 50 of them outside!
EJ: And by 50, I mean 27.
EJ: It looks like 50, though.
EJ: Ooh, uh, Phil, let's go ahead and head off. Let this guy finish them off. I want to be able to actually buy a gun.
NJKB: I'm almost out of ammo EJ: You're doin' a great job there, skipper.
NJKB: Yeah, don't mind us. EJ: Keep up the good work.
NJKB: I've seriously only got 5 bullets left in this gun.
EJ: I've got, like, 4 clips, but I mean... NJKB: Oh, dang! He took 'em all out!
NJKB: Look at that. EJ: Well, I hope.
EJ: There's only, like, 3 of them left.
EJ: God damn, dude. They need to hire some janitors for this place.
EJ: Blood all over the floors, it's unprofessional.
NJKB: You don't realize how important they are until they don't do their job.
EJ: Exactly!
EJ: I can't buy a shotgun? What the hell? Oh, no, here we go.
EJ: Damn, this thing's sexy. Mmm. Come to Butthead.
EJ: There is a weapon called
EJ: Vlad the Impaler. It looks like a giant nailgun,
EJ: And I want it in my life.
NJKB: What is it, a sharpshooter? EJ: Uh, probably. I don't know. I know it looks like it would shoot
EJ: Friggin' fence posts out of it.
NJKB: All right, I need armor
NJKB: because I did not buy armor. Well, you didn't either.
NJKB: This'll be entertaining! EJ: Yeah, I didn't buy armor, either. My shotgun was all the money I had left on my body.
NJKB: 112. Oh, geez.
EJ: Do we wanna...
EJ: hunker down in the hallway, or do we want to go outside? I'm thinking outside first NJKB: Yeah.
EJ: Then we can wittle down the numbers. This thing's got wide spread and tight spread on it, so I can-
EJ: WOAH! You can get out of my face! Jesus!
NJKB: Holy crap! EJ: I just saw a blur, and I was like "Holy crap!"
EJ: God damn, that was scary.
EJ: Here. Dude, come over here. NJKB: Yeah, I'm comin'.
NJKB: That just went right by us. EJ: We got a Husk.
EJ: Yeah, dude. Woah! Jesus.
EJ: Thank God for Zed Time, I would not have known that guy was there.
EJ: I'm gonna blow your face off. ***!
EJ: I actually did, too. All right!
NJKB: Oh, Siren. Oh, geez, that hurt.
EJ: Hey. Hey, *** off.
NJKB: Ohhh...snap. Oh, snap.
EJ: *grunting*
NJKB: Oh, we got another Siren over here, too!
EJ: We need to get inside, right now!
NJKB: Yeah. EJ: Oh, I'm not gonna make it. Run, run, run, run, run.
NJKB: Okay, that was unintentional, but awesome. EJ: Ohh...everything hurts right now.
EJ: I'm going to shut the door so we can get a chance to... Get off me, dammit!
EJ: Oh, God, dude. I'm getting ***.
EJ: Dude, we need to get out of there! Get out of the doorway. Heal, heal, heal, heal.
NJKB: Oh, geez! Fire. Fire. Fire.
EJ: Yeah, dude. Heal, heal, heal, heal, heal.
NJKB: Okay, here we go. EJ: Watch it! Stalker, stalker!
NJKB: Oh! That was right in my face! EJ: You ***, get out of here!
NJKB: Oh, man. How did we survive that?
EJ: Yeah, dude. I'm like... wait, which way? Is it down? Oh, we've got to go this way, whoops.
EJ: God damn, dude. That was like a mosh pit.
NJKB: Ugh, that was tough. All right. EJ: Yeah, I'm definitely going to buy some body armor.
EJ: Dang, dude! I'm, like, loaded! I've got almost 1500 pounds!
NJKB: I've got 1000, so you're doing a lot better than I am.
EJ: There you go. That should even you out a little bit. NJKB: I just found a ton of money.
EJ: No, no. I gave you money. NJKB: Oh, you can do that? Oh, that's cool.
EJ: Yeah, you hit the 'B' button and you'll drop money.
NJKB: Shows you how often I play this cooperatively.
EJ: Dude, I'm not going to be able to buy ammo. C'mon, run dammit! Just wanna buy some ammo, God!
NJKB: Awesome. EJ: Dude, I snuck in here like right at the last second.
EJ: That was close. NJKB: Yeah, same here.
NJKB: Got some armor, got some ammo
NJKB: Ohhh! EJ: Oh, crap. That spider almost fell on top of me.
EJ: Oh, crap, Phil. We need to heal up whenever we have the chance. We're both hurtin'. I didn't realize how bad we were.
NJKB: You're better off than I am. EJ: I just healed. My health is just as bad as yours.
EJ: We're probably going to have an FP in here before too long, and that's going to be a barrel of laughs.
NJKB: All right. Ohh. EJ: Scrake!
NJKB: No! NO!
EJ: I gotcha, dude. I gotcha. NJKB: Woah! Invisible. I gotcha.
NJKB: All right, where are ya, where are ya, where are ya? EJ: Behind ya-get off me spider.
NJKB: Come back, our friend! EJ: Scrake!
NJKB: Oh my goodness...
NJKB: I got an invisible one right in front of me!
NJKB: Got her.
NJKB: Here we go.
EJ: God dammit, Scrake!
EJ: Damn, dude.
EJ: Got another Scrake behind us.
NJKB: There's just a sea of monsters behind us.
EJ: I think our buddy's gonna die on us.
NJKB: Watch out behind you!
EJ: Whoo. Went a little crazy with the shotgun there.
NJKB: No! Oooh, that was close!
EJ: Crap, I am out of armor. NJKB: Yeah, I saw that.
EJ: Got a...Husk behind us here. NJKB: Watch out behind you!
NJKB: Oh, that was cool.
EJ: Crap, I got puked on!
EJ: ***'...Bloat. NJKB: Help! Oh, my!
NJKB: *laugh* Ooh, that was close.
EJ: I'm outta ammo.
EJ: In my good gun.
EJ: Oh, we've only got three left. We're all right. NJKB: Okay, stupid question. How do you throw grenades? I forget.
EJ: Uh, it's 'G'. NJKB: Catch! EJ: Stands for "God damn!"
EJ: Here, just ignore him and- awww.
EJ: C'mon, man. Run, run, run, run, run.
EJ: Yeah, I know. I got almost 3000 pounds. NJKB: Same here. EJ: I must be ***' steamrolling stuff or something.
EJ: Oh, good, I just ALT+Tabbed out of the game, that's great. Whoops!
NJKB: I thought you've been playing PC games long enough to know not to do that!
EJ: Well, I was trying to check the score...
EJ: And I use the ALT key for my push to talk.
NJKB: Ah...okay *laughs* EJ: Because I'm smart. NJKB: That doesn't seem like a good combination.
NJKB: Oh! Good night!
NJKB: Oh, the Vlad the Impaler... EJ: I just bought the AA-12. NJKB: The Vlad the Impaler is a shotgun...kinda weapon.
EJ: Oh, good lord.
EJ: Did you just buy that? NJKB: No, I didn't
EJ: Well, I just bought the AA-12, so I'm going to be rocking some *** right now.
NJKB: I got one of the higher up shotguns.
NJKB: Looks like something from Splinter Cell.
NJKB: Hey, I got to Level 1 of Support!
EJ: Sweet, du-OH CRAP WE'VE GOT A FLESHPOUND RIGHT BEHIND US!
EJ: And it is dead. It is very dead, and I am very happy. NJKB: Yeah, our friend's probably not.
EJ: Probably hurtin' a little bit.
EJ: Nah, he's all right. His body armor's, like, gone, though.
NJKB: Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh! EJ: Mmm. Melon popping goodness!
EJ: Gonna go grab this ammo box. NJKB: Well, we just lost our friend.
EJ: Wait, like, he's dead? Or he just ran off? NJKB: No, he's just somewhere else.
NJKB: Oh, nice save! Behind you!
EJ: He is, like, on the cusp of death, dude! He's got no ***' health left.
NJKB: Yeah, I'm getting there, I'm getting there, I'm getting there. EJ: Yeah, I'm gonna heal him up.
NJKB: Here you go!
NJKB: Woah! Woah! Spiders!
NJKB: And not the good kind!
EJ: Here, let's kinda fall back to the area we were last time. NJKB: Yeah.
EJ: C'mon, dude. Ignore that guy. If he dies, he dies. NJKB: Well we've got a...big mean guy back here.
NJKB: I don't know the names of any of these-WOAH! EJ: Like, with a chainsaw?
EJ: Is it a chainsaw guy, or the... NJKB: Yeah, chainsaw guy.
EJ: Oh, those are Scrakes. NJKB: Scrigs? EJ: Or "***" as I like to call 'em.
EJ: No, Scrakes. S-C-R-A...
EJ: Think "Drake" but with more talent. NJKB: Oh, okay.
NJKB: Oh, that was pretty. EJ: Granadu!
EJ: Come at me, bro! NJKB: That only killed one of them?
EJ: No, no, I killed, like, 4 of them.
NJKB: Okay.
EJ: The other ones just turned into powder, really.
NJKB: Aww... EJ: Oh, crap.
NJKB: Oh, fire. Fire. EJ: God dammit, I hate these ***.
EJ: We're almost done. We've only got 17 left. Then we have to fight the big guy, so. NJKB: Yup.
NJKB: Oh, man, my shotgun's out.
EJ: Yeah, I'm pushing it on mine.
NJKB: Oh, man!
NJKB: They are all right there. EJ: Get off me, you ***!
EJ: Run! Run to the trader!
EJ: This guy is going to put his whole arm up our buttholes, so we need to...
EJ: I'm not kiddin' man. Like, not in the fun, happy way... NJKB: Oh, I know. I've played against- EJ: I mean in the bad way. NJKB: I've beaten him once, I know.
EJ: I'm just going to see if I can buy the biggest, nastiest gun I can find and I'm just going to put it inside of his body.
NJKB: You want to try the Impaler? EJ: Yeah, dude. "Here, could you hold this for me?"
NJKB: Actually I'm gonna try it. EJ: Actually the, uh...the AA-12 is actually the best shotgun I can get. All right. NJKB: Nice!
EJ: Gotta buy the biggest, nastiest thing I can. NJKB: Eh, let's get two shotguns. Why not?
NJKB: And another grenade.
NJKB: Okay. EJ: I bought 2 Handcannons in case this guy makes me run out of shotgun ammo.
EJ: WHA-He's right frickin' there?!
EJ: Are you *** me?!
NJKB: Oh, this is lovely.
EJ: Oh, good, I'm glad I get a chance to move before he ***' rapes my-
EJ: WHAT THE ***?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! NJKB: I'm locked. I...I am locked looking at him-
NJKB: OH GOD! EJ: Dude, that was so crap!
EJ: I watched him ***' *** my face hole through the little cutsene.
EJ: That was great. NJKB: I know! I did, too! All right, let's see if I can do this.
NJKB: Oh! Nope!
EJ: He just Falcon Punched you, dude. That was crap! The game totally screwed us.
EJ: He's like: "Oh, yeah, you think you're going to kill the Patriarch, huh?
EJ: Nope, not today, kiddies. Back to school." NJKB: Oh, my God. That was stupid.