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>>ANNOUNCER: COMING UP ON TIME FOR HOPE: AND TO MAKE SMART
CHOICES IN YOUR LIFE. YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO TAKE A CHANCE
AND WHEN YOU TAKE A CHANCE YOU CAN FIND GREAT VICTORY IN YOUR
LIFE. YOU CAN HAVE AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY, AND I
BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT GOD WANTS IN YOUR LIFE.
>>ANNOUNCER: JOIN DR. FREDA CREWS, LICENSED PROFESSIONAL
COUNSELOR, AND HER GUESTS AS THEY PROVIDE PRACTICAL
SOLUTIONS TO REAL-LIFE PROBLEMS...ON "TIME FOR HOPE".
>>WE ALWAYS APPRECIATE YOU JOINING US ON TIME FOR HOPE, A
FAITH BASED MENTAL, HEALTH PROGRAM. OUR SUBJECT TODAY IS
A VERY FITTING ONE AS WE ARE THRUST INTO ANOTHER NEW YEAR.
JOINING ME TODAY IS PASTOR SOUGHT AFTER SPEAKER, AND
AUTHOR, RICKY TEMPLE. AND WE ARE GOING TO BE GETTING SOME
ANSWERS FROM HIM AND HIS BOOK CO-AUTHORED BY DEBORAH PEGUES
AND TITLED WHY SMART PEOPLE MAKE DUMB CHOICES. DRAWING
FROM HIS BOOK, PASTOR RICKY AND I WILL BE DISCUSSING KEYS
THAT WILL HELP YOU MAKE SMART, INSTEAD OF DUMB, DECISIONS IN
EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE. STAY WITH US, AS WE OFFER SOME LIFE
CHANGING DIRECTIONS.
>>AND PASTOR RICKY ITS GREAT HAVING YOU ON TIME FOR HOPE.
>>IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE.
>> YOU HAVE A CHURCH DOWN IN SAVANNAH, GEORGIA.
>> THE PRETTIEST CITY. I'M TELLING YOU.
>> IT IS ONE OF THE PRETTIEST CITIES IN AMERICA. I AGREE
WITH YOU. I LOVE SAVANNA.
>> GOOD FOOD, GOOD GRITS, GOOD PLACE.
>>YES AND IT'S GOT A GOOD HISTORY HASN'T IT.
>> YES IT DOES.
>> GOES BACK A LONG TIME. A LOT OF PEOPLE IN AMERICA CAME
IN TO THE PORT IN SAVANNA GEORGIA, DIDN'T THEY?
>> IT'S A GREAT TOWN.
>> A GREAT TOWN. YOU HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK ABOUT SMART
PEOPLE CAN MAKE DUMB DECISIONS AND YOU SAY IN YOUR BOOK
ALMOST RIGHT OFF THE BAT. JUST BECAUSE WE MAKE DUMB DECISIONS
DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN WE'RE DUMB.
>> NO. THAT'S AN IMPORTANT THING TO BALANCE. BECAUSE IT'S
REALLY ABOUT A SMART PERSON MAKING A BAD JUDGMENT. SO YOU
CAN BE REALLY SMART, BUT HAVE A REALLY BAD DAY WHERE, FOR
REASONS THAT WE DESCRIBED IN THE BOOK YOU CAN MAKE SOME
REALLY BAD JUDGMENTS.
>> AND THAT WOULD BE LIKE YOU SAID HAVING A BAD DAY AND
MAKING A BAD DECISION ON A BAD DAY THAT'S A NO-NO. WHEN WE
REALIZE WE ARE HAVING A BAD DAY THAT THE VERY DAY WE DO
NOT NEED TO BE MAKING IMPORTANT DECISIONS. ISN'T IT?
>> EXACTLY. WE NEED TO MAKE SURE, WE KNOW, WHAT'S FEEDING,
WHAT EMOTIONS ARE FEEDING THOSE. WE GIVE 10 EMOTIONS
THAT TEND TO LEAD TO, WHAT WE THINK ARE FOUR DUMB CHOICES WE
TEND TO MAKE.
>>YES YOU DO GIVE THOSE 10 EMOTIONS, AND VERY OFTEN OUR
EMOTIONS DO DICTATE OUR CHOICES AND OUR DECISIONS
DON'T THEY?
>>YES. I THINK THEY DRIVE THEM. I THINK, FOR EXAMPLE.
WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY OR WHEN YOU ARE STRESSED OUT, OR WHEN YOU
ARE FEARFUL YOU TEND TO NOT THINK IN A CLEAR FASHION. SO
YOU TEND TO MAKE DECISIONS, AND THE FOUR AREAS THAT SEEM
TO BE FED THE MOST OUR MORAL CHOICES, RELATIONSHIP CHOICES,
FINANCIAL CHOICES, HEALTH CHOICES.
>> YOU HAVE DONE A TREMENDOUS JOB AND MADE IT VERY READER
FRIENDLY IN YOUR BOOK COVERING THIS WHOLE SUBJECT, AND
ESPECIALLY THE VARIOUS AREAS OF OUR LIVES THOSE FOUR THAT
YOU OUTLINED IS KIND OF WHAT WE DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS.
ISN'T IT?
>>IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING MORAL, RELATIONAL. IT'S SOMETHING
THAT HAS TO DO WITH MONEY OR HEALTH. THAT FRUSTRATES MOST
PEOPLE. IT'S WHAT CAUSES THEM TO BE DEPRESSED, FRUSTRATED.
SO IF YOU CAN MAKE THOSE AREAS OF YOUR LIFE GET IN LINE YOU
WILL BE A HAPPY PERSON.
>> SO LETS DIVE RIGHT INTO THOSE EMOTIONS THAT WE ARE
TALKING ABOUT. I THINK ONE OF THE FIRST ONES THAT YOU NAMED
WAS ANGER, AND ISN'T IT?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> I KNOW I'VE BEEN READING AND STUDYING AND RE-STUDYING
PROVERBS RECENTLY, AND IT IS AMAZING HOW OFTEN PROVERBS
SPEAKS OF AN ANGRY MAN AND WE COULD SAY CAN AN ANGRY PERSON.
AND ALL THE STRIFE AND CONFUSION AND EVERYTHING THAT
THEY CAN STIR UP AS IT WERE. IT'S A LACK OF CONTROL PLUS,
IF IT'S NOT IN CONTROL THEIR ANGER IS GOING TO AFFECT
EVERYBODY AROUND THEM, ISN'T IT.
>> IT BLOWS OUT YOUR REASON, THE LIGHT OF REASONING. IT CAN
MAKE YOU BELIEVE THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. WHEN I'M ANGRY.
I'M NOT ALWAYS REASONABLE. SO, THE FIRST THING YOU WANT TO DO
IT FACE THE FACT I AM IN A MOMENT HERE WHERE I'M NOT
WHERE I SHOULD BE. AND MY REASON IS A LITTLE BIT LOW SO
LETS SIT BACK AND LIGHT THE FLAME AND GET IT BACK UP
AGAIN. AND THINK CLEARLY. SO OFTEN TIMES, IF YOU ARE ANGRY
AND FRUSTRATED THAT IS NOT THE TIME TO MAKE THE BEST CHOICES.
>> ALL RIGHT. SO LET'S MOVE ON FROM ANGER. SO DO YOU REMEMBER
THE NEXT ONE?
>> FEAR
>> FEAR, OH THAT IS A BIGGIE. THAT GOES RIGHT ALONG WITH
ANXIETY, DOESN'T IT?
>> EXACTLY. SOMETHING IS GOING TO GET ME; I'D BETTER DO
SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. I'D BETTER REACT OR RESPOND AND A
LOT OF TIMES YOU KNOW, IT KIND OF SLIDES INTO, IF I COULD
JUMP AHEAD A LITTLE BIT, INTO INSECURITY. IF YOU'RE AFRAID
YOU TEND TO JUMP INTO INSECURITY IN THE NEXT STEP.
WHERE YOU ARE ALREADY STARTING TO FIND THINGS OR REDEFINED
THINGS. YOU'RE AFRAID YOUR WIFE IS MAD WITH YOU. SO YOU
BLOW UP AND REACT THE WAY YOU SHOULDN'T, SO IF YOU LEARN HOW
TO PULL THOSE EMOTIONS INTO PLACE AND IDENTIFY THEM.
SOMETIMES I SAY, TEMPLE YOUR MAD NOW CALM DOWN, YOU ARE
FEELING INSECURE, SIR. I'M TALKING TO MYSELF.
>> TALKING TO YOURSELF. THERE IS REALLY A LOT TO BE GAINED
WITH SELF TALK. IT USED TO BE THAT WHEN I GREW UP; THERE WAS
A SAYING THAT IF PEOPLE WERE TALKING TO THEMSELVES, THEY
WERE READY FOR THE CRAZY HOUSE, SO TO SPEAK. THAT'S NOT
NECESSARILY TRUE, GOOD SELF POSITIVE SELF TALK IS ONE OF
THE BEST THINGS WE CAN DO UNDER CERTAIN EMOTIONS, ISN'T
IT?
>> EXACTLY, WHEN YOU CAN IDENTIFY WHERE YOU ARE, YOU
CAN HELP YOURSELF MAKE SMARTER CHOICES BECAUSE IF YOU ARE
HONEST WITH YOURSELF, YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU ARE. YOU KNOW
THERE ARE MOMENTS. FOR EXAMPLE, ONE OF THE THINGS WE
TALK ABOUT IS GREED. IF I'M REALLY HONEST WHEN I GO IN A
STORE SOMETIMES. I DON'T NEED ALL THAT STUFF, ITS JUST
GREED. [LAUGHS].
>> REALLY, THAT IS A VERY RAMPANT SCENE THESE DAYS,
ISN'T IT? AND AGAIN, PROVERBS TALKS ABOUT THAT, TOO.
>>I. THINK IT'S HARD FOR CHRISTIANS TO ADMIT THEIR
SINS. TO SAY I AM IN A MOMENT OF ***, I'M IN A MOMENT OF
GREED RIGHT NOW; I'M IN A BAD PLACE. SO THIS IS NOT THE TIME
TO MAKE GREAT CHOICES, THIS IS THE TIME FOR ME TO BACK UP,
THINK THINGS THRU AND CLEAR MY MIND.
>> YOU KNOW, UNTIL WE ARE WILLING TO GET HONEST WITH
OURSELVES AND ADMIT, WHAT IS GOING ON. FIRST OF ALL, WE
CAN'T ASK FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT TO HELP IF WE ARE NOT HONEST
WITH OURSELVES AND VERY AWARE. IT'S SELF AWARENESS, THAT I
THINK WE ARE TALKING ABOUT AND TO THINK WE ARE HIDING IT FROM
GOD. [LAUGH]. THAT'S FUNNIEST THING I THINK. HE KNOWS
EVERYTHING HE ALREADY KNOWS ABOUT IT, BUT HE WANTS US TO
TELL HIM ABOUT IT, DOESN'T HE?
>> HE DOES, BUT OUR THEOLOGY SOMETIMES WON'T ALLOW US TO DO
THAT. IF YOU HAVE A THEOLOGY THAT IS VERY STRONG ON WORKS
AND PERFORMANCE. AND GOD DOESN'T LIKE ME, IF I HAVE A
PROBLEM. THEN YOU ATTEND TO HOLD THAT BACK. I THINK THAT'S
WHAT FEEDS FRUSTRATION IN PEOPLE. I THINK THAT IF YOU
ARE NOT CAREFUL. SOME SERMONS SOME MESSAGES THAT PEOPLE
RECEIVE FROM PREACHERS GIVES THEM THE WRONG THEOLOGY. IT'S
REALLY HARD TO BE HONEST AND SAY, THIS IS THE TRUTH ABOUT
ME TODAY. AND GOD IS OKAY WITH THAT.
>>YOU KNOW WE COULD ALMOST TURN THAT AROUND. GOD DOESN'T
LIKE US IF WE DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM.[LAUGHS].
>> HE IS VERY AWARE OF OUR PROBLEMS.
>> HE IS VERY AWARE OF OUR PROBLEMS AND IN HE WANTS US
RELYING ON HIM. EVEN PAUL SAID, WHEN I AM WEAK, THAT'S
WHEN I'M STRONG.
>> HIS GOAL IS TO GET YOU TO A PLACE WHERE YOU ARE PEACEFUL,
CLEAR AND ABLE TO MAKE SOUND CHOICES. HE WANTS YOU TO MAKE
SMART CHOICES. WHEN HE MADE ADAM AND EVE, THE WHOLE GOAL
WAS. I WANT TO PUT YOU IN A PLACE AND SHOW YOU HOW TO DO
THIS RIGHT. THEY MESSED UP, BUT FROM THEN ON IT'S BEEN LET
ME SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE IT RIGHT SINCE YOU MESSED IT UP.
>> PRACTICAL CHOICES TOO. HE GIVES US A BRAIN AND HE
EXPECTS US TO USE IT RIGHT WERE NOT TO BE GOING AROUND
LOOKING FOR A MIRACLE ALL THE TIME. HE EXPECTS US TO BE
PRACTICAL AND PRACTICALLY HAS IT WERE, CONFRONT OUR
PROBLEMS, OUR SITUATIONS, WHAT EVER CHOICES AND DECISIONS
NEED TO BE MADE.
>>I. HAVE TWO KIDS. MY SON IS 28. MY DAUGHTER IS 23. ONE OF
THE GREATEST JOYS OF MY LIFE IS TO WATCH THEM MAKE CHOICES.
MY SON JUST GOT MARRIED, AND I'M TELLING YOU, I'M THRILLED.
GOOD CHOICE, AND YES, ONE DOWN, AND ONE TO GO.[LAUGHS]
YOU SHOULD FEEL EXCITED AND I KNOW GOD FEELS THE SAME WAY.
HE WANTS ME TO BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN AND WITH THIS SERIES I
GIVE SEVEN STEPS, THAT YOU CAN TAKE TO MAKE GOOD CHOICE, AND
AS A PARENT I GET IT. I NEED TO MAKE SURE NUMBER ONE FOR
EXAMPLE, THAT I HAVE CLEAR OBJECTIVES A CLEAR PICTURE IN
MY MIND. ONCE I'M CLEAR, I CAN MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES, AND AS
A PARENT THAT'S WHAT I WANT FOR MY KIDS. I WANT THEM TO
HAVE CLEAR GOALS, CLEAR OBJECTS. THEY KNOW WHERE THEY
ARE EMOTIONALLY; THEY KNOW WHERE THEY'RE NOT. THEY ARE ON
THEMSELVES. THEY KNOW I'M MAKING A BAD MORAL CHOICE
RIGHT.
>> AND THEY KNOW WHERE THEY WANT TO GO. THAT'S ONE OF THE
THINGS THAT I FIND LACKING WITH OUR YOUNG PEOPLE, OUR
ADOLESCENCE THESE DAYS. EVEN THE ONES THAT ARE IN COLLEGE
SAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO, WHAT YOU ARE MAJORING
IN. I DON'T KNOW I'M JUST GOING TO COLLEGE. I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WANT TO DO. THERE IS A LOT OF THAT, IS THAT A FAILURE
IN THE PART OF PARENTS, THE CHURCH, I MEAN WHERE WE ARE?
>>I. THINK PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO MAKE A DECISION. I THINK,
WE MAKE IT INTO SOMETHING THAT IS BIGGER THAN LIFE, AND IT
SHOULDN'T BE. I THINK YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE A
DECISION TO CHANGE YOUR MIND. I THINK ITS OKAY, LET PEOPLE
TAKE A CHANCE, TRY SOMETHING. I HEAR ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME,
A LARGE COLLEGE GROUP, IN OUR CHURCH AND I'M ALWAYS SAYING
LISTEN TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO BE AND DON'T BE AFRAID.
NOT, WHAT GOD WANTS YOU TO BE RIGHT NOW, LET'S START WITH
WHAT YOU WANT. THE BIBLE SAYS GIVES YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR
HEART, IT STARTS WITH WHAT YOU WANT IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO GET
YOU TO DO SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO, LESS TO TRY TO GET YOU
TO DO SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO. SO START WITH WHAT YOU
DESIRE.
>>I. THINK WE ARE AFRAID OF RISKING TOO. THEY'LL TAKE
GREAT RISK ON THINGS THAT THEY OUGHT NOT TO TAKE RISKS ON,
BUT LIFE IS RISK.
>> LIFE IS RISK. LIFE IS GETTING ON THE LAUNCHING PAD
AND TAKING OFF. IT'S NOT JUST RUNNING UP TO THE LAUNCH AND
MAKING NOISE AND THEN NEVER BLASTING OFF. YOU WANT TO
BLAST OFF, LIGHT THE FUSE.
>> IT REQUIRES THAT WE BLAST OFF, DOESN'T IT.
>> IT DOES. AND THAT TAKES COURAGE. AND TO MAKE SMART
CHOICES IN YOUR LIFE. YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO TAKE A CHANCE
AND WHEN YOU TAKE A CHANCE YOU CAN FIND GREAT VICTORY IN YOUR
LIFE. YOU CAN HAVE AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY, AND I
BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT GOD WANTS IN YOUR LIFE. HE WANTS YOU TO
DO MIRACULOUS, PHENOMENAL THINGS IN YOUR LIFE.
ABUNDANTLY ABOVE ALL YOU CAN ASK OR THINK.
>> KIND OF REQUIRES YOUR TRUSTING. IT REQUIRES THAT
WHEN YOU TAKE OFF THAT YOU'RE TRUSTING HIM IN THE PROCESS.
ANOTHER BIG ONE YOU NAME IS STRESS. I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY
THAT DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, AND DOESN'T EXPERIENCE
IT.
>> STRESS IS WHEN YOU HAVE THE LAUNDRY, THE LAUNDRY BAG FULL
OF CLOTHES, A HUSBAND THAT WON'T HELP YOU. AND CHILDREN
THAT DON'T GET IT AND YOU HAVE FINANCIAL CHALLENGES, AND YOU
HAVE PHYSICAL CHALLENGES. ALL THESE THINGS PILED UPON YOU AT
ONE TIME, AND IT'S LEARNING HOW TO TAKE THOSE THINGS AND
PULL THEM APART. ONE BY ONE AND SO JUST LET ME JUST STEP
BACK AND MAKE SOME DECISIONS TO FIX MY LIFE. ONE PIECE AT A
TIME.
>> ONE PIECE AT A TIME, I LIKE THAT. AND ONE DAY AT A TIME,
AND SOMETIMES ONE MOMENT AT A TIME. LEARNING TO LIVE IN THE
MOMENT AND LEARNING TO LIVE AS THE SCRIPTURES TELL US WITH
THE DAY THAT WE HAVE NOW. THAT'S ALL WE REALLY HAVE
ISN'T IT?
>> THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE, AND YOU HAVE TO EMBRACE THAT DAY,
AND NEVER EVER THINK YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT ALL RIGHT NOW.
STRESS FEEDS ON YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT ALL RIGHT NOW. RESET
THE CLOCKS, START THE CLOCK OVER AGAIN. YOU CAN WIN IN
SMALL PIECES.
>> AND STRESS ALSO COMES FROM I'M SUPPOSED TO DO, I HAVE TO
DO, I'VE GOT TO DO, AND SO FORTH. IF THOSE THINGS WE PUT
ON OURSELVES THAT ARE NOT NECESSARY TO PUT ON OURSELVES.
>> YOU CAN RESET THE CLOCK AND HAVE A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE.
>> WELL THAT'S A GOOD THOUGHT TO GO OUT ON BREAK AND WE WILL
BE RIGHT BACK.