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Look, mate. I'm not being funny.
But the last thing I wanna do is take you to the match.
So here's how it works.
Give me half the money. I'll go to football.
And you can have a wander round
where Churchill took a Tom,
or whatever it is that you Yanks do in jolly old.
A Tom?
Tom.
A Tom ***, a ***.
It's rhymin' slang.
Like "bees and honey" for "money."
Or I can say to you:
"Give me the ***' bees."
I made a promise to Steve.
Well, Steve ain't here, is he, mate?
I am.
And to be honest, you're pissin' in the wind
if you think I'm taking you with me.
Well, I'm not giving you the money.
You ain't really got a *** choice, mate.
And you're starting to get on my ***.
Give me half the money.
Cops!
[LAUGHS]
Well, how *** stupid do you feel now?
Come on, then, dance for me, Yankee.
[GRUNTS]
[LAUGHS] Serves you right
for fightin' like be bleedin' tart.
But try that again, and I will kick the *** out of you.
Yeah, the Tom out of me, I get it.
Get up, come on.
So. I'm guessing you're not much of a fighter.
A fighter? That's probably the first fight I ever had.
You call that a fight?
*** it.
I will take you with me.
You might learn something.
About soccer?
No, mate. Not about soccer.
And for ***'s sake, stop saying "soccer."