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Do you ever notice your spouse
disciplining your child and thinking to yourself
hmm that's not gonna go very well.
It isn't abusive, it isn't neglectful, but you
think it's kind of dumb, and you think to yourself boy I wouldn't do it that way.
What we're talking about here is parenting styles.
The comment usually is "oh, you have to be on the same page about everything".
Hmm that's not exactly true. Yes, you have to have certain values, family values,
that you're in agreement with,
but the style or the method that you approach
can be different and you know why because
you're different. So when a child comes to you and says "well
daddy lets me", you say "yeah I know
that's because he's different" or "well
mommy says I can't do that and you're saying I can" and you say
"well, we'll have a conversation about that but I'm
different than your mom". Use this technique
so children won't manipulate you and also
remember it's important to have respect for the other spouse.
When you see them doing something that is different than the way you would do it
have an agreement and the agreement would go like this
"honey when I'm disciplining the kids I'm gonna do it this way
and if you disagree we can talk about it later but not in front of the children".
What does that do? That teaches respect
and it doesn't undermine the other parent. What we're talking about here is
learning about parenting styles
and in my class we talk about two ineffective parenting styles
as well as one that is. So if you've got some questions about your parenting
style or the way you were parented
maybe you'd like to improve on that and do something that's maybe different or more
effective
I can help with that. We do that in my class in week four.
Give me a call if you've got some questions about this.
I'd love to help. Thanks for watching.