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Host: Alright, Simon... Are you nervous? Simon: A little bit.
Host: A little bit? It's okay, it's okay... Alright, it's okay to be nervous...but what
you need to do is let go of my hands. Who is that? Is that your wife? Okay, good. Okay,
it wasn't me. It was your husband!! Okay, now come over here and give everybody a big
strong, macho smile! Okay, so I can see you don't understand what I am saying... So, when
I get nervous, I do a big, strong, macho pose like this... [applause] Okay, alright, on
the count of three...one...two...three... [loud applause] Okay, nevermind... If that's
a macho pose, you need more... Okay, legs apart, hands on the side, can you see the
audience? Okay, this is the last time you are going to see them! Alright, one..two..three...
[cheers] Okay, wifey, come take a picture of your husband... last time you're going
to see him [laughter] Give a hand for macho man! Now Maggie is behind you checking your
behind... [laughter]... Now tell me about Maggie... Is she smooth, or dry, or wet?
Simon: Very heavy Host: That's the whole reason I picked you,
because you are very macho... Alright, now... nevermind, the man confused, huh? Is smooth
and dry? Now touch her, yes? Or wet and slimy? Simon: smooth and dry...
Host: Most people think snakes are wet and slimy but actually they are smooth and dry...
Wait, what is happening...? Why is Maggie touching you in the wrong, wrong places? This
is a public show! Okay, never mind, tell you what...Maggie is a female snake! Haha...[laughter]
Yeah... Wifey, so sorry, he found another woman. Okay, let's take Maggie back... I don't
know... Be careful, be careful...sensitive area... [laughter] Okay, very good. Okay,
give a round of applause for our macho man...