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(car screeches)
Who are you hiding from, sugar?
I'm not hiding. I just don't want him to see me.
Who? (Loudly) OMG! Is that Alex?
I don't think he heard.
I don't think he saw.
Hey.
No.
No? What do you mean, "no"?
No, you can not rejoin Poets Club. Things are changing for us.
We're no longer behind the Chinese restaurant.
And my hair's growing back in.
That's right. That's progress. Barring any sudden fires or toxic dim sum, we just might escape personal injury this year.
Knock on wood.
(knocks)
The prodigal Don Juan has returned. But that's okay. I kinda miss having my wingman.
Lots of "fresh meat" at the diner these days, if you know what I mean.
Yeah. The ham is pretty good. Wait. What are we talking about?
I just need you to sign the sheet.
And you are...
Drew Tatum. I'm here for the credits.
You spoke to my English professor. You're the leader of Poets Club, right?
Yes. But you still have to show up at the meetings. That's the agreement.
I'd club baby seals to miss a lecture, you know what I mean?
(Humorless) We won't ask you to do that. This year is different.
We need to talk.
Let's talk.
No. We need to talk-talk.
Oh.
Alone.
I'm worried. No offense to you, but Alex plays you like a slutty piano.
Have you even thought about what to say to him?
I think I'll tell him to leave.
Do you remember last time? You told Alex you didn't like rum.
And what did he put in your coke?
Rum.
And...
Both: A roofie.
He said it would help with my insomnia. Nothing bad happened. After that, I slept like a drunkard.
Besides, that was years ago.
If you say something, he'll stick around anyway.
You're right. (pause) I have to say something.
So you got your teacher to let you do Poets Club instead of class?
What can I say? I'm a master debater.
(snickers)
What about you?
Oh. My nana wants me to go meet people, so I come here.
That's depressing.
What are you all still doing here? Didn't Alex tell you? Your little Poets Club is over.
No more meetings.
I like you kiddo. You've got moxy and a nice rack, if I do say so myself, but who are you to tell us to come or go?
Excuse me? I'm the one shutting you down. Your rent is so overdue.
Rent? Um, I have money.
(coins hit the table)
Oh, come on, guys. It's for the club!
What are you doing? Shafiq, you're the sane one. It's just a stupid poetry club.
Tell them to let it go.
Cynthia, this club is all Nadia has. Plus she helped me pick out this outfit, so I owe her.
And Edgar, when your wife died of mysterious causes, who played the character witness in court?
And Drew...
Sold. I refuse to go to an English class in college. I'm so better than that.
C'mon, Nadia. You know we're like peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots? Really? Nobody even likes peas and carrots.
Correction. Nobody likes peas. Carrots give you night-vison. Peas are annoying and green.
I'm carrots. You're peas.
This has to do with you and Brian at GigoTech downtown. Rumor is you attacked him?
With a salad?
A club salad, because he's allergic to eggs. And ranch dressing. And I might've thrown in some bacon bits as well.
I can't stress how disturbing I find your wastefullness.
You wouldn't even have that job at GigoTech, if Brian wasn't married to your sister.
I don't need that job. But I can't afford to lose it. Brian's making me do therapy.
If I don't rejoin Poets Club, I have to go to anger management.
That class is taught by Brian.
I see. You get punished and I get to suffer.
This is the greater of two evils for me. Your pain is my only consolation.
You should know, I hate you. Now, get out of my way. I need to pee.
We're all contributing.
Why would I want to rent a jar?
Cynthia: I came in, and everyone was happy and still here.
Oh, that's right. I was going to tell them, but then I remembered how much I hate anger management.
Well, you have several overdue notes on this space. You really think you can just raise that kind of money?
OH!
Sure. No reason we can't raise this.
Okay, everybody. Cash and jewelry into the jar. Watches too.
Why would I want to rent a jar?
I'm collecting rent. GigoTech has bills to pay.
Apparently, so do we.
And you guys collected all of this for rent?
For me?
It's too much.
I'll give you a month.
This isn't enough. I'll need your cell phones too. And Edgar, you aren't married anymore.
Give up the ring.
Well, at least membership is free.
(cellphone drops into jar)