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JASON SKLAR: Today on the show, Hugh Hefner,
Chumbawumba, and belligerent Jordanians.
No, it's not an episode of I can't believe these people are
still alive, it's the "Tweekly News," and it starts right
after we finish our meal replacement power smoothies.
Hey, welcome to the "Tweekly News."
RANDY SKLAR: You give us five minutes, and we'll take five
or your minutes.
JASON SKLAR: I'm Jason Sklar.
RANDY SKLAR: And I'm Randy Sklar.
JASON SKLAR: And together we are @Sklarbrothers.
And we are here taking time out from stalking the annoying
orange at Comic Con.
RANDY SKLAR: Snooki's at Comic Con?
JASON SKLAR: She is.
And she looks great.
RANDY SKLAR: She does look great.
JASON SKLAR: Doesn't she look good?
RANDY SKLAR: She looks really good.
JASON SKLAR: She looks fantastic.
RANDY SKLAR: Even with the baby, she looks great.
JASON SKLAR: She looks great.
Hey, let's get started with @reply, where we reply
directly to ridiculous people's ridiculous tweets.
RANDY SKLAR: This week, walking Petri dish Hugh Hefner
blew his own shriveled trumpet with this tweet.
"Crystal is back, I'll be hanging with the girls by the
pool this afternoon and playing a little backgammon."
JASON SKLAR: Now, when he says Crystal, he means Crystal
Light, right?
RANDY SKLAR: Yeah, and when he says hanging by the pool, he
means skimming the grotto for traces of Fred Durst.
JASON SKLAR: And when he says playing a little
backgammon, he means--
JASON AND RANDY: Playing a little backgammon.
RANDY SKLAR: Hey, at least he's finally doing something
age-appropriate.
JASON SKLAR: Hey, guess what, people?
It's time to relearn.
RANDY SKLAR: Just like Ex helps people relearn life
without cigarettes with its free quit plan, we relearned
this week that running with the bulls may be hazardous to
your health.
JASON SKLAR: This week, there were injuries galore during
the annual San Fermin Festival in Spain.
@GuardianUS tweeted, "Two Britons one American were
gored in the running of the bulls in Pamplona."
RANDY SKLAR: I should have never joined this fraternity!
This should have been the plot for "City Slickers 3." Ah!
Now, the only thing more dangerous than running with
Spanish bulls is putting your money in Spanish banks.
JASON SKLAR: Ole.
RANDY SKLAR: Justin McKeating responded to the tragedy with
this compassionate tweet, "It warms my cold, cold heart to
see [BLEEP]
kids being gored at Pamplona."
JASON SKLAR: He kind of has a point.
I mean, this whole scene reminds me of a Redlands
Denny's at 2:00 AM.
RANDY SKLAR: Well, that's Europe for you.
I mean, when I backpacked there after college, I did
some crazy stuff.
Like that one time I took that picture where it made it look
like I was holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
JASON SKLAR: Or that time that I had unprotected sex with an
Algerian transvestite in Chernobyl.
RANDY SKLAR: You never told me that.
JASON SKLAR: That's why I keep telling you, man, you've got
to read my Chernobyl diaries.
RANDY SKLAR: I will.
JASON AND RANDY: That was trending?
JASON SKLAR: This week, Chumbawumba was trending.
RANDY SKLAR: Chumba what?
JASON SKLAR: Technically, only 14/15 of
the band were trending.
RANDY SKLAR: But when news broke of the band's breakup,
people were devastated.
JASON SKLAR: Mike Scully took the news personally. "Just
told my kids about Chumbawumba splitting up.
They pretended not to know who I was talking about, which
just made it harder.
So brave."
RANDY SKLAR: Mike, you've been writing for The Simpsons for
like, what, 47 years?
You could probably pay Chumbawumba to get back
together for your daughter's sweet 16.
JASON SKLAR: For an extra $10, they'll probably let you knock
them down and then they'll get back up again.
RANDY SKLAR: For another $20, they'll probably do some
face-painting.
JASON SKLAR: Look, I think for an extra $30, they'll mop the
dance floor.
RANDY SKLAR: And for an extra $40, you can
kill three of them.
JASON SKLAR: Hey, kids, it's an election year.
That means it's time for 2012 in 140.
RANDY SKLAR: Now, if you think political discourse in this
country is polarized, wait until you get a load of this.
@DerekBlass tweeted this awesome video link.
"Jordanian parliament member throws shoe.
Pulls gun on critic on live TV.
Will be us soon."
I love how when the guy pulls out his shoe, the other guy
ducks behind that little desk.
But when the guy pulls a gun, he gets right up in his face.
I'm guessing the gun is not going to fire some shoes.
JASON SKLAR: This is Pic This.
Our friend Brody Stevens released this twit pic with
the caption "Happy Head Shot."
RANDY SKLAR: See, I love that Brody's not afraid to make a
little fun of himself.
He is making fun of himself here?
JASON SKLAR: I think he is.
RANDY SKLAR: I hope he is.
Now, who among us hasn't taken a bad head shot?
For years, this used to be our head shot.
And before that, we used this.
JASON SKLAR: And before that, this was our head shot.
RANDY SKLAR: Looked great there, Jay.
JASON SKLAR: I felt great.
You know, maybe I should start wearing my
hair that way again.
RANDY SKLAR: Now, before we log off, it's time for Tweets
to Re-Tweet.
JASON SKLAR: Where we highlight tweets from people
we follow who we think you should follow, too.
This week the achingly clever Damien Fahey tweeted "Rappers
shouldn't have to file taxes, because they itemize
everything they own in songs."
RANDY SKLAR: And that's why Ghostface Killa's always
saying, it's all about the unreimbursed employee
expenses, [BLEEP].
JASON SKLAR: Hey, thanks for checking out the "Tweekly
News." And don't forget to follow @theTweeklyNews.
RANDY SKLAR: And for more of the "Tweekly News," go to
BecomeAnEX.org/Sklar for exclusive content, outtakes.
JASON SKLAR: And of course, more of our
embarrassing head shots.
See, I like this one.
RANDY SKLAR: We were young, but like I look overweight.
JASON SKLAR: No, you were thin.
RANDY SKLAR: I look fat.