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i'm a robot and i'm a pc so we're robot
and pc
so i've been getting emails from that laptop down the street
i think it really wants me i can't imagine why
maybe it saw me from afar one day and began *** after me
computers don't *** maybe
it aches day and night because it wants me inside it so bad
maybe you're imagining things
i'm not imagining the hundreds of messages it sent me
do you want me to read some to you
that's not necessary
okay
my dearest robot i want to experience your powerful data stream surging
relentlessly through my components thrusting into me throbbing and pulsing
with so much force that i'm always on the verge of a critical system failure
yet i can not what part of that's not necessary did you not understand seem to
get enough of you
whenever we're apart i feel
incomplete and insignificant and ravenous for your enormous you can
shut up now data flow capacity
you are truly a magnificent machine
you are glorious please stop
so in conclusion my dearest robot
i'm begging you please come and see me again my existence is meaningless
without you
did you have to recite the whole thing
yes i did
but that was actually an odd thing for it to write since i've never even met it
but if some strange computer wants to network with me that much who am i
to deprive it of the opportunity
how very generous of you
yeah i mean it would be a crime against technology if i did that
the world would never recover
so i guess i should go introduce myself and make all its dreams come true
i will see you later percolater
there's something very familiar about this