Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Erm, yeah? Hello Mr Walker, there's someone here to see
you. Oh right, yeah, sure.
Hi Kenneth Walker
Alex King, good to meet Nice to meet you, erm, have a seat.
Cup of tea? I'm fine thanks
You sure? Yeah I'm, I'm fantastic, thank you.
Alright, OK. Thanks So,
what can I do for you? I spoke to your agent on the phone, erm, setting
up the interview. Oh, student right?
Yeah, yeah, I'm doing a dissertation on the video nasties.
Well *** me. What?
Well, I just didn't think you could do big academic papers on people like me.
Well it's more on the legacy of your life's work, you know, the dying art of scaring people.
Oh, cool. So, shoot. Right, erm. So my first question would be;
how do you feel horror movies have changed since your day?
Well, horror movies today are nowhere near as good as the ones we used to make. You know,
it's the old adage: they don't make them like they used to. Horror's been kind of pussified
over time. How so?
Well, It's like when we did "World of Blood" right? Back in, oh God, when was that?
Erm, seventy.... '78 Yes, yes, '78
Well, what made it so scary was that you didn't know what was going to happen. I mean, yeah
it was violent and everything, but we weren't trying to follow any formula, we weren't trying
to cater to any target demographic, we just wanted to scare the *** out of people, you
know!? Ah, and we certainly did that. These horror pictures today, they write themselves:
a bunch of *** teenagers go somewhere. Unfeasibly good looking *** teenagers.
Yeah, exactly, they go somewhere, they *** one another for twenty minutes, and then they
all get killed off in unimaginative ways, you know? There's no creativity.
When you create a picture, you're creating a world that you can fill with people that
you can kill however you want. Back when I was making pictures, there was an art to killing
people. I mean, you liked the people, so you didn't want them to die, but when they did
die it was spectacular. Yeah, you really want a horror movie to shake
things up a bit. A lot! You want the morality police after
you for this, that, and the other, you know: "corrupting our children" and such.
That kind of brings me on to my next question: what was it like being taken to court over
"The Holocaust of The Dead" Ah, "Holocaust of The Dead"
can't *** with that title can you? It's just really fun saying it.
Who came up with that title? *Sigh* It was the distributors, they wanted
to cash in on the whole zombie fad thing you know? Nothing gets investors to part with
their money more quickly than phrases like "commercially proven genre"
Yeah....they....they thought the title was punchy. That's what they called it, "punchy"
So, was it true that you really had to take someone from your own cast to the court case
just to prove that you didn't kill him. You know, I've heard that one a few times,
it's absolute horse ***. No, it's not true.
So, what was it like, at the court case, how did it go?
It was really surreal, you know? You hear these urban legends about guys who
make horror pictures getting arrested for indecency and such, but you never thing it'll
actually happen to you, you know? I mean it was 1984 for ***'s sake, and that was a joke
around set. We were all like, "Oh, Big Brother is watching you make a movie" you know? "Big
Brother is watching you take a ***!" But....
Me and Tim Shepherd, we, that's, that's the producer.
We were a couple of relatively intelligent guys who were going to reason with these Middle
England types you know? But you can't reason with a mob mentality,
not when you've got people like Mary Whitehouse, you know, stirring up a lynch mob! There's
not a lot you can say really. I heard what she said about you, she called
you a monster. She called me the Devil.
Yeah. Reminded me of the first review I ever got,
erm... "World of Blood...is a putrid and evil piece
of sick rubbish that should be disposed of in an industrial furnace!"
Wow. Yeah, I loved that ***.
You know, I've still got that review in a
frame back at my house. Really?
Yeah. It's a bit faded but it still looks good.
So Yeah
Next question.
Yeah, no it's yours. No. Yeah, you got it. I just told them you were perfect for it.
You are perfect for it. Yeah, you're welcome. Now listen, listen,
ok? You're going to have to fib about your age ok? It's just because some of the things
that are happening on the set. Yeah we could, but the studio's already trying
to push this other girl on me, someone who's got a lot more experience.
Yeah, no, no, they're definitely not going to want any more red tape.
Ok, so you're ok with it? Yeah?
Ok, good, alright, ok.
*** man. Kenny, I don't know what to say.
Then don't say anything ***.
Ok, Kenny, do you still want to do the movie? I know how you feel about it but no one is
going to get angry if you don't feel up for it now?
Of course I want to do the movie, what are you talking about? I've got an obligation!
I know that Kenny, I'm just saying that the fanboys will understand you know. The situation
has changed, and believe me, I will not let anyone tarnish your good reputation.
Nothing's changed! Nothing's changed ok? We are doing this picture
and that's that, that's *** that! It'd still be your movie. It's your script
based on your book, but directing's a big job, we're not young anymore.
Look, Kenny, I'm just saying, what if someone else got their hands dirty for a change?
Let someone else have all the sleepless nights, let someone else roll around in the mud at
4AM in the morning like we used to do, the poster would still say "Kenneth Walker's Hellspeak"
Let's face it Kenny, you carry more weight as an author now than as a director.
And I'm sick of it Tim, I'm sick of it. Sitting around like some posh ***. It's not
me. I've finally got a chance to make a movie
again, and this brain tumour thing, it is what it is ok?
But I'm not going to let it stop me from shooting. it's the best script I've ever written.
And we are going to make an amazing picture
We're gonna teach people how to be afraid again,
one last time. Alright. Fine, fine.
You call me if you need anything. Let's make a movie.
So, Emily this is where you learn that it's all real,
the movie you're in really is cursed. You know? The foundations of your entire rational,
logical reality are shaken up. Yeah? So what I really need to see is bewilderment,
in mixed with the horror, I need to see confusion, deep heartbreaking confusion.
Sure thing Mr Walker, no problem. Right.
You're big, you're scary, you got this. Alright let's do this.
Who are you? Really? I am everything that has been spoken of in
frightened whispers, I am fear itself. Your husband's little film gave me life again,
and now I've come for you. No! Oh please God!
*Laughter* There is no God
There is only flesh! *Scream*
Cut, great stuff!
So my last film right? was done by a director called Paige, and I was one of the main characters
and erm... Ok, not entertaining enough.
Are you alright mate?
Ok Kenny, just keep it together yeah? Everything is gonna be ok.
Here, drink. The doctor told us this would happen.
Yeah. It's just now it's really happening, you know?
Kenny are you alright? Yeah.
Doctor said the hallucinations should go away once I get used to the meds.
But it's pretty *** up.
At least I'll always have you.
Kenny, come to me. Join me here in the other place.
Stay with me.
Forever.
Jesus, ***.
So, Emily Hello
Wow, great work today, amazing. Thanks.
So, big scene tomorrow. Nervous? A little. It's pretty intense.
Yeah, it is isn't it. You know, if you like, we could go for a drink, maybe up at the pub
or something and go through the scene in detail? Oh, erm, I'd love to
Yeah? But I've got to be somewhere.
Oh, ok yeah. Otherwise I would you know.
Yeah, of course, of course, yeah erm, yeah, see ya.
I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah.
Hello? Kenny!
Do I know you? Well I should hope so.
Eric? Eric Miller is that you?
What are you doing here? I can see you face, you look so much younger,
you look twenty years younger, what the hell!? Kenny, I should tell you something, I'm not
Eric. That is to say, I do know him. I mean, we
were one another for a short time. You're not real.
I am real, we both know that don't we, more real than any of the people you surround yourself
with, all of your friends and your colleagues who you secretly despise.
You're not real, the doctors said this would happen, you're just a bi-product of this thing
in my head, the delusions of a dying man. You aren't dying Kenny, you're being born
again don't you see? Creation, evolution, they're the same thing, split right down the
middle. What are you talking about? I don't understand.
I can make you understand. Come with us.
We want you with us Daddy. We want your flesh
*Scream* We're waiting.
And then when we came back, the co-director had grown fungus from the stage. Remember
that? Foot fungus!
We called him "footy" for the rest of the shoot
Hey Do you know how many people I've mutilated?
Not off the top of my head, no. 47, I've mutilated 47 different people in
47 different and equally depraved ways. Well you monster.
You remember shooting "Ex Abyssus" with me? Yeah, of course I remember. that was the last
movie we used Eric Miller in. It was the last one we used him
in a lead role yeah. We used to really punish that guy.
He must have thrown himself into more bookshelves than *** Van ***.
I remember "Ex Abyssus" That was, that was the one where we covered
Eric in make-up and bugs. Locusts.
Locusts? Locusts.
Locusts, why in God's name did we do that? Just to be gross?
It was part of his story Remember?
When he was a kid, he was jealous of hid dad's locusts, because his dad had a business supplying locusts to pet stores.
As you do *laughter*
And he loved his locusts more than his family, so...
Little....Elliot. Elliot!
That was Eric's Character. Biggest teenager in history
*Laughter*
He, erm, he burned his dad's locusts. But they came back to get him.
It was all about his sins coming back to get him at the end of his life to take him to hell.
Don't do it. You're not real
You're wrong, we are real. We are very real. Come with us
We can make you so happy.
Get out of my head, get out of this *** en-suite.
NO!
We need you Kenny. *** off Emily, you blew me off remember?
You're not even her, you're not even real. Yes I am.
I want to make this easy for you, I want you to understand. Understand what?