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We've been looking forward to volunteering for years -- ever since we were old enough
to read stories from the arena, like those written by motris and lahosken.
Not that we're CAREERS or anything - we know that training for the Games is
forbidden. But it hasn't kept us from knowing a thing or two about how to play.
For example, we all know the blue M&Ms are the poisonous
ones, but I think I have a technique on how to handle that.
To be entirely honest, we're also looking forward to the opportunity to DESTROY MONACO!
Really? I thought we were gonna "burninate the countryside."
I'm sure we'll find a way to get both in.
Oh, there's plenty of reasons for other tributes to fear us, I'm just not sure they're good ones.
Yeah, I mean, I can probably beat anyone in Loopin' Louie, but what good is that gonna do
us in the Arena?
I can totally solve all six colors on a Rubik's cube ...
so long as I have six different cubes to work on.
Well, if I can tell you one of our secret weapons: we look carefully at everything.
Both sides of pieces of paper, we even look twice in the envelope.
You never know what you might have missed.
Hey, there are two M&Ms in here!
Watching the highlights from the other Games it's clear what you need in order to win.
Ian!
But if you don't have Ian on your team, we all have our own go-to favorites.
Lappy!
Scissors
Rock
Paper
Hey!
Doug
And now that I know all of your weaknesses, I'm not going to share with you mine.
Hey!
So here is a scale model of a trap that, uh, I'm planning on building. So, it's quite simple, what you do is you turn this crank,
which causes this little stop sign here to hit the boot, which hits the ball,
which rollllls down and hits that thing, which hits the bigger ball,
and then into the little tub, and then the man jumps into THAT tub, and then the trap comes down.
So far I've only tried it on things that don't notice all the ruckus going on while the trap
runs, but if they just sit there it's pretty effective.
Who's the first? Oh, that'd be Dou... oh, wait, he's not on our team this time.
You know, really, we plan to not lose anyone.
We're all just very good friends and we're really going to do our best to make sure we all survive this.
You're so sweet!
You know, the actual killing part is not pretty. We've seen our share of mortality but it's
not what we like to brag about. ... Unless you're Melinda.
So, there was this one time I was driving on the freeway in my little purple car,
and this guy totally just cut me off. So I sped up and I flashed him. And he was like "agh! ***!" and
then he crashed into a utility pole and died. It was awesome! And that's what happens when you irritate us.
And then there was this other time-
That's enough, dear.
Oh! That's easy -
we'd like to be remembered as the victors of the 75th Famine Games. I mean, right? So, just
just let us know what the other tributes say, we can try to remember them for their reasons
after our victory.