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Four los angeles county sheriffs and a german shepherd.
[barking]
They're waiting for you?
No, they're just hanging out, talking.
When I walked in,
They all stopped talking and looked at me.
Ha ha ha.
That's hard, man.
That's a *** hard situation.
German shepherd starts barking.
He's barking at me.
I mean, it's obvious. He's barking at me.
Every nerve-ending, all my senses,
Blood in my veins,
Everything I have is screaming, "take off, man!
Get the *** out of there!"
Panic hits me like a bucket of water.
First the shock-- bam! Right in the face.
I'm standing drenched in panic.
All these sheriffs looking at me,
And they know. They can smell it.
Sure as that dog can, they can smell it.
[barking] [cop] shut up!
So anyway, I've got my gun drawn, right?
It's pointed right at this guy.
I tell him, "don't *** move,"
And this little idiot's looking right at me,
Nodding his head yeah,
Saying, "I know. I know. I know."
But meanwhile his right hand's creeping towards the glove box.
I scream at him,
"***! I'm going to blow you away right now!
Put your hands on the dash!"
And he's still looking at me,
Nodding his head, "I know, buddy. I know."
And meanwhile his hand's still going for the glove box,
And I said, "buddy, I'm going to shoot you in the face
If you don't put your hands on the *** dash!"
And this guy's girlfriend--
This real sexy oriental ***, you know?
She starts screaming at him,
"what are you doing?
Put your hands on the dash!"
So the guy snaps out of it
And casually puts his hands on the dash.
What was he going for?
His *** registration.
Ha ha! You're kidding!
No. Stupid *** citizen
Doesn't know how close he came to getting blown away.
That close, man.
[very loud dryer starts]