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[OHHHH YEEEEEAH]
[Mmmmm...]
-Wow, this is a really nice place! -Thanks!
Look, Dan...
There's something I have to tell you... I...lied about my age.
Your profile said you weren't interested in girls under 21, but...
-We had so much in common, and-- -Woah, woah, just...
How old ARE you?!
20.
That's totally fine!!
You know, I actually lied to you a little bit too.
-You did? -Yeah...
My name's not actually Dan.
It's...it's Jane.
Yeah! Not many girls wanna go out with a guy called Jane!
Don't worry about it! I'm not actually a natural brunette!
I can't even speak French! I don't know why I lied about that one!
I'm not actually a woman!!
What?!
Is that bad?
-I'm sorry, we were opening up... -Sorry...you're not actually a woman?!
Yeah, it's just, like, a lot of makeup. I REALLY like you...
-Why would you... -We just had so much in common!
OH! We kissed...
[Sigh] I'm sorry.
You know what, it's fine. To be honest... I'm not even a man!
-Seriously?! -Yeah!
Wow. Okay... I guess we're back where we started from?
You know what? Let's just pick up where we left off.
Fine!
Oh, wait. Do you have a ***?
-Everything alright? -Uhh, condoms, condoms...
Yeah, not my dress!
-Know the feeling! Not even my house! -WHAT?!
What are you people doing in my house?!
-We're not robbing you! -Yes! I am the painter!
And I'm the VCR repair man!
I don't HAVE a VCR!
I can fix that.
You know what? Don't bother. BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY ROBBING THIS PLACE.
Well I guess it's a good job that I'm actually an UNDERCOVER COP.
-[gasps] -And THAT right there is my partner.
Uhhh...
Sorry, sweetheart, but I'm not your partner...
I'm his.
No! Wait, so you're gay?
-No? -Actually that does make us gay.
What?!
[off screen] What a twist!
Who are you?!
Oh, I'm Jack. You all thought I was a lamp...
But I'm actually... not a lamp...what?!
-I'm sorry, what is actually going on here? -I thought you said this sketch would make sense?
I lied...I lied to you all.
-What?! -Sorry, that 'action' was for me, right?!