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That's the guy that tried to have a three-way with me and Jessa.
What's happening?
(CROWD GASPING)
Dude, if I didn't know any better
I think she's getting married.
She's not getting married.
As some of you may have already guessed,
- we're getting married. - We are.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(SHUSHING)
- Can you please hold the - Thank you.
- (SLAPS) - Ow.
- Hi. - Hi.
Jessa.
The first night we met, truthfully,
I thought that we were gonna have a threesome with your friend Marnie.
What's up, Marnie?
But we didn't do that.
When you left my house that night,
I felt more energized than I had for years.
I thought to myself
that if I ever saw that crazy *** again, I would make her my *** wife.
(LAUGHS)
- MAN: All right! - (CROWD CHEERING)
WOMAN: Whool MAN: Ow!
WOMAN 2: Yeah, man! WOMAN 3: All right!
I wore white.
What?
I wore white to her wedding.
I wore white because how could I have known?
Because nobody told me.
Well, yeah, it's a surprise wedding.
Thomas-John, when you came to my house with flowers,
I was prepared to call the Special Victims Unit.
- (LAUGHING) - WOMAN: Yeah!
Not only did I find you very creepy,
but I found you also really boring.
You are. You're boring.
(LAUGHTER)
But for some reason, I agreed to have dinner with you.
And you asked to move tables twice and I was even more revolted.
(LAUGHS)
Then you started talking about what you did,
about travel and finance,
and I thought, "This man's brilliant in a way that I have never known."
Thank you.
I appreciate your adventurous spirit,
your desire to learn,
and everything you don't know about.
(LAUGHTER)
Yeah?
It's a positive.
- ***. - I know.
I love you.
Are you okay?
I'm very moved.
- You are? - Yeah.
People finding each other
- I love you! - I love you!
taking shelter. I'm very moved.
But they just met, like, two weeks ago.
Time is a rubber band.
THADD: And now with the power vested in me,
by a website that I found on the Internet,
(LAUGHTER)
I now pronounce you man and wife.
Ahh!
You may kiss the bride.
Free the bird.