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Célia Diniz's testimony, whose story has given rise to the character Elisa in the movie "The Mothers of Chico Xavier."
Spiritism teaches us that someone suffers just during the necessity of learning something, not 1 second longer.
And I needed to take advantage of that great pain experienced,
to come out spiritually strengthened from that situation.
After having lost a child, no one comes out from this situation with the same "spiritual degree".
No one keeps the same "spiritual degree".
And I didn't want to come out feeling lower.
I wished that pain could teach me something.
Both Spiritism and the two losses have taught me
that we only feel the true love when we send our children back to God.
This is the "love-delivering".
This love-delivering is no longer the selfish love:
"This is MY son, he is MINE."
When we send him back to God,
we're trying to learn how to practice the real love.
It is to believe that our son will be better with God than with ourselves.
When Rangel has passed away,
I was 33 years old.
I've been born in a Spiritist family.
I had already the knowledge of the spiritual world, I already knew that life goes on...
I had already studied how life was in the spiritual cities...
And I thought: if I had lived together with Chico for a long time;
if I had the blessing of knowing Spiritism;
if I went there taking the place of other mothers who were discovering these truths only at that time,
I would be a very selfish person.
And I was hesitating: should I stay or should I go?
My selfish won and I've gone to visit Chico...
When I arrived at Chico's Spiritist center, 4 months later my son had passed away,
he explained me why my little son had returned early to the spiritual world.
He explained the Law of Action and Reaction,
that we were fulfilling,
and he said a phrase
that was very important at that time. He said:
"Your son is nowadays a spirit who has returned to his house to see again old new-friends."
And this brought me comfort, because I knew
my son was an universal Spirit.
Before being my son, he was son of God, he had other lives, he had other friends.
He was returning to his real home. Dying is to return home.
"Your child is nowadays a very thankful Spirit to you,
"due to the body that you has given to him
"in order to submit himself to those necessary experiences."
I noticed that, living together with Chico, every time I was there,
it was not a matter of finding out a message;
Chico gave us much more than this.
It was not only news about the son.
His empathy for our pain;
when he embraced us,
he wrapped us with an aura of so much love,
that we left the place feeling comforted.
So, Chico was more than a postman.
He was more than a blessed psychographer.
It was something inexplicable.
The love whose he welcomed us,
his capacity of loving was amazing. We left the place with or without message,
but we returned home feeling much better than when we had arrived.
I've learnt too much with him.
He literally pulled us onto his lap.
To be near him, it was being surrounded by a wonderful aura.
We felt like we was taking a shower of love and light.
And complementing this:
the letter.
Spiritism, unveiling such truths,
consoles us a lot.
We really change the point of view.
It is no more "My son has died", "My daughter has died, she is no longer here".
It's "My daughter lives there."
"My son lives there."
So, this is other point of view.
Spiritism enlarges the horizon of the life beyond the grave.
And this consoles us a lot.
In a such way that I even revere the mothers who conform
without having this knowledge.
Our tears don't disturb them.
On the contrary.
Figure out: a son passes away and his mother doesn't cry.
It ain't possible!
Asking a mother not to cry for his son is the same of asking the water not to wet.
It is against nature.
So, I cry for my 2 children.
I miss them until today.
But it ain't tear of despair.
It is just tear of longing.
I don't add pain to this longing.
I don't add non-resignation to this longing.
And just like adept of Spiritism,
I could overcome the loss of a child for the second time.
I'm happy today.
Considering happiness as this inner peace brought by the work;
the peace brought by the fact of knowing that my 2 children are happier and more peaceful there,
than my son who is here,
with the daily struggles of life
in this World of Tests and Atonements.
Maternal love is the most closely matches God's love on Earth.
And...
this love that we feel for our children...
We love our children and forget that they are spirits...
And this real love,
which is the love that you feel even from afar;
this detachment, this love that you don't need to be near to continue loving;
and feeling yourself loved;
this is the real love that we learn at high cost,
with much pain.
The love which delivers...
The love which delivers resignedly our son to God.
My son is better with God than with me.
I think we learn what is the real love when our children return to the spiritual world before us.
The love I feel for my 3 children
is not the ideal yet,
but I've been learning
that I can love them even if they are not by my side.
When our child dies, when our child returns to the spiritual world,
people think this is the greatest pain of the world,
It is indeed a devastating pain.
But it isn't the greatest pain of the world.
Mother greatest pain is not to lose her child for death,
when we send him back to God.
Mother greatest pain is to lose him for life.
Losing a son for the non-love.
Losing a son because he is ruled by drugs,
by violence, by crime.
This is the greatest pain of the world.
A mother who is lying on the bed while her son is missing...
Receiving a psychographed letter from our children
is one of the most amazing emotion that we can experience.
We feel like having our children back.
Those living news... Each word represents life in the spiritual world...
News about them are like a balsam onto our wounded hearts...
When my little child said to me:
"Mommy, I am alive and I will grow up."
I didn't need any proof further.
I already knew Chico Xavier's mediumship.
I already knew several letters from other spirits to their mothers, to their relations.
In my children's letters,
there was some kind of a seal of warranty in each detail.
A detail like a nickname;
details about things that happen daily inside the home.
So, when we see such details written there,
we're sure: "Wow, they were really at home, visiting me at that time."
There isn't another explication for them narrating such details.
They can look into our hearts,
our feelings,
and when they report these impressions in their letters,
it's an unquestionable proof that they had really written.
Likewise an ID card, a fingerprint.
Each domestic event reported... When they show their own personality,
we say: "This is my son."
This is the certainty.
It's an Inner certainty.
.