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Breaking news! A high-value camera has been stolen by a suspect! Police are still trying
to identify the suspect from the footage retrieved when they found the camera dumped in a bird's
nest, clearly a ploy by the criminal to try and hide the evidence.
Police say that the suspect is very tall, has a long neck and a sticky-out nose and
likely has incredibly good vision. They advise anybody who sees the suspect to keep their
distance as he may in fact enjoy eating his victims raw.
Straight Talking News out!