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Life has only taught me how to be a feeler. I am a master.
Now in this modern age I am a failure. I see everyone I know speeding ahead of me in massive white yatchs
with fancy colored flags cutting through the wind, jolting me with their snapping sounds.
I sit back. Collecting acquaintances and fake smiles undulating, side-to-side, but still.
Not moving, not breathing, feeling every single bump in a jigsaw puzzle city waiting to fit
into the right place. A cozy home where I can take my wooden pieces of furniture. Somewhere
where the sun will shine on my face on my way to work and I will never bump into an
old lover, or high school 'friend' and have to run behind a counter, hide my sweaty palms
because I'm too embarrassed to say, yup I work here. This is how I pay my rent. And
here you are, as a consumer, so easily wasting your money on whatever place is crazy enough
to hire my anxious hands. When will I be ok? When will I be chosen to have that place,
where I can just glide, and have an honest bright white smile? I close my eyes and I
see my family. My brothers, my mother, my father. They are not perfect by any means.
But I feel like I have failed them. Maybe I should google a suprt group for anxious
anonymous?