Confessions of Felix Krull - 1957 - Excerpt [eng subs]

In all modesty, I was an excellent elevator operator. The work was child's play, swaying up and down, like an angel. It even made me joyful. And besides, on the first afternoon, there appeared suddenly and unexpectedly... En bas. Vite, alors! My heart stood still. It was she, the owner of the jewelry! My neighbor at the customs station. I was shaking. But not with fear, with excitement and anticipation. - Attention, Madame. - Merci. René. - Who is that lady? - She stays here often. Her husband owns the big foie gras factory in Strasbourg. Immensely rich. Her name's Houpfle. You like her? She's too old for me. Madame... Monsieur... Second floor, n'est ce pas, Madame? Apartment 234. - You're new here, aren't you? - How did you know? One can't help noticing such an improvement in the staff selection. - Very kind, Madame. May I take the packages? Madame has a request. Close the door. My maid has gone out. Help me with this jacket. Am I naked, you bold servant? How I wish I could continue with this delightful work. It's just that I don't have time. I'm on duty. You'd have time for me, if you made the time. Infinitely. - When? - I'm off duty at 11 o'clock. I'll expect you. 7 o'clock. Another four hours. I beg your pardon, Monsieur. They went to dinner at 9 o'clock. - Attention, Madame. - Stop that. Madame... Monsieur... Finally, it was time. Entrez. Come here! Closer! What is this? A servant, a young man of the lower class... - coming here at this hour? - Madame had expressed a wish... A wish? Of an elevator boy, I wish nothing, I give orders! Come closer. And don't forget that you're a curiosity for me. An object of study. I write novels. Passionate... Poetic... Not under the name Houpfle, of course. That's the name of the foie gras that my husband sells. I use my maiden name. Have you ever heard of Diane Philibert? Of course, Madame. One of my favorite authors. You haven't read a word by me. Ah, how you lie! It's divine! Maybe I should let Madame rest alone now. No, no, dearest! How you do confuse me, and I adore it! Oh, the charm of your resplendent youth intoxicates my aging heart. Oh, blessed desire, this drunken noise that never ends. I will die with him, but my thoughts are constant, always, this boy to woo. - But what are you saying? - What? Do you not like the song... that I sing... pulling me downward... into the gutter? - And even lower. - Excuse me, Madame! I don't drag anyone into the gutter! Let alone, even lower! Lower! Elevator boy... Downward...! Madame... Yes, yes, that's right! So... Raise your left arm higher. Bend your head slightly. - Yes, it's you! Hermes! - Who, please? Ah, blessed fool... Sweet, sweet fool! You don't even know who Hermes is. I'm just a foreigner here. Is he a foreigner here, too? You still don't know Monsieur Hermes? I'll tell you ... Dear Hermes: He is the god of supple thieves. Ah, god of thieves! Tell me, Diane, since you arrived here... - Haven't you missed anything? - No. - A chest, for example? With jewelery? - Oh, yes! How do you know? - I've taken it. - Taken it? When? At the border crossing. We were standing next to each other. Ah, je comprends! You've stolen it! You're a thief, dear lover! Not just a common lift operator... but, no, a thief! Oh, what fun, how delicious! - Have some reaction sometimes! - You don't understand, little one. If I'd only dreamed we'd end up loving each other... I'd never have caused you such trouble and grief. - But I had no such things! - Silly fool! what's more valuable to me that the theft, is the thief who stole it! Hermes! He doesn't know who that is, yet it is he, himself. Hermes! I have a wonderful idea. You shall steal again. - Here, right before my eyes. - But... but, Diane... Ah, silly! You're missing the loveliness of the situation. Let's do it another way: I'll close my eyes and act as if I'm asleep. - I'll even turn out the light. - Despite this, Diane... Silence! Quiet, quiet... Now, you sneak around... like a cat... and steal! - Believe me, Diane, it wouldn't be right! - You're a mouse! That's an order... and a game, a charming game... intended for both of us. The dresser... There... Dear, what are you doing? You've stolen it, so it's yours! Stuff it into your clothes, then get dressed and flee! Thank you. Farewell, Armand, I'm leaving tomorrow. Never forget your Diane! Think of me, even in your deepest sorrow. Even as the grave covers us, never reveal to the world... Live... You are in my song. Adieu, adieu, Chéri. And the gifts of love? What did you do with them?