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Hey everyone out there on YouTube, it's SpykeVampyre.
And I'm coming at you with a real video...kind of.
Umm, I figure I should explain my rather large absence from YouTube.
And maybe the future of this channel.
Umm, so, if you don't want to hear about my life for the last--I don't know--eight months or something like that...Seven months, umm
Then don't listen [laughs] I mean, it's really just not that important.
'Kay, cool? We're on board? 'Kay.
Umm, so I'm going to try to get everything systematically.
Umm, number one: during the absence, I mean, spiritually, EXTREME changes of confusion.
Umm, so, when last I saw you, I was practicing Asatru and I was looking at practicing Kemetic Orthodoxy.
And so I was like, oh that's going to be chill, I'll be able to do that, right? No. No. Not really.
Umm, so, when I was going through the beginner's class for Kemetic Orthodoxy, I pretty much was like
Eh, fully...fully just ditched this Asatru thing for a while. I mean, I still said I was Asatru at Kemetic Orthodox [sic], but neh, not really.
I pretty much only worked with Kemetic Orthodoxy, like doing the ritual of Senut and talking to a bunch of Kemetic Orthodox people at fellowship chats.
And this, that, and the other thing and it was just craziness.
I mean, I really did ignore Asatru because I really felt such a huge thing with Kemetic Orthodoxy, so why should I do both?
So then I finally got to the beginner's course, and you elect to stay on the beginner's course as a Remetj
Which is like a...a...it's like they're a member, but they're not a straight up member and I'll explain that
Because then you get your RPD and you can choose to be a Shemsu
And Shemsu are like fully converted, like they have their RPD, members of the faith.
That's cool. So I was going to get my RPD, I was getting ready to do that and then I was just like, oh my god, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know if I can do that.
Because that's like a big commitment and I still think I want to do Asatru, so I went back and read a bunch of books, a bunch of my books on Asatru.
And meditated and thought about my place in the world and the cosmology and the gods and the this and the that. And I did it for like three more months after that.
And then I was just like, wow, it just doesn't...it's not clicking like it did before. It doesn't feel right to me right now.
So, I was like, eh, Asatru, like fleh, you can just go for now. And then I just went back to doing Kemetic Orthodoxy again for like three months.
But, I haven't felt really compelled to practice it. And that's just a little bit of a problem to me.
I feel like that should be number one with a religion is basically that you should want to do it.
It's not easy to stay devoted and things like that and I know that, piety and all that, but you should want to do it.
You should feel like it's worth doing. And so I was like, eh, so nothing is really fitting me right now and maybe it's because my life is so hectic--and more on that later
But I don't really know. And I've been looking back at past religions I've been studying, trying to evaluate which one maybe is the one to me...for me to do.
Or should I just look at a new one?
And I've been reading about Wicca again [laughs]
And, you know, like I did for ten years of my life already, and I was like you know what? Umm, I think that I might look into doing that again.
So, maybe I'll be Wiccan again and that would obviously be better for you guys, because then I'd be making videos left and right.
But who knows? [Creepily] Who knows anymore? Umm, so that's just a briefing in my spiritual life. Who knows what will happen?
Who knows? I've said that like fifteen times already, but oh well. Who knows? Umm...
So, I guess the second thing I should talk about is health.
My health has gone to hell in a hand basket, people. In a hand basket like all bedazzled and ***. It's not good. Umm...
No, I mean, since I've left you I started...I was chill for a couple of months, and then I started developing panic attacks like crazy.
Like every other day having horrible panic attacks that lasted for twenty minutes or an hour and it was just, you know, it was horrible.
And it kept me up at night and I couldn't get rest and I'd be jittery and my heart would be palpitating.
And actually one of them got so bad that I literally got sent to the ER. I had to go to the ER. Umm...
And they were like, wow, you should probably go on an anxiety medication, so they gave me Ativan.
But I haven't taken one pill of my Ativan. I actually haven't had a panic attack in over a month. Or no, a month now.
Or a little over a month maybe. Umm, I basically talked myself out of them. So, BAM. Umm, so I haven't taken any of my Ativan.
And that's great. Umm, and I'm getting tension headaches, these really horrible headaches and I'm on a prescription for that now too.
Oh my god, I'm so drugged up now. And I think I have costal chondritis, which is inflammation of the ribs. The tissue of the ribs, I mean.
And so that's going to be fun. Not really. Lots of chest pains. And so, you know, I have all sorts of problems. I even have little floaties in my eyes and things like that.
I'm just going down, people. I mean, it's just not good. I need to get checked for all sorts of ***. And if the floaties in my eyes are what I think it is I might have to get surgery on my eyes later.
Hopefully, that's not what it is. Umm...because surgery scares the *** out of me.
Umm, so that's really important. Umm, third thing probably, no, second to last thing I'll talk about...third to last.
Umm, third thing is my career. My education-slash-career.
So, last time I told you, I was going to do the phlebotomy technician program, and I did, but just months later. I didn't start until May
Just two weeks ago. Umm, yeah, I've had two weeks of class. This is my third week. And that was because of all sorts of fuckery.
But, you know, long story short, I'm finally in the program, god damn it, and I'm doing really well.
And it's been easier than I thought, but it's getting, it's definitely still challenging. I have to memorize all these chemical additives
And these departments of hospitals and the blood tests that go in this color tube and the order that you're supposed to draw the tubes in.
I mean, it's a lot of work, but whatever. I'm going to do it and I'm doing really well with it. I really like the idea of working in health care.
Umm, It's just a great way to start. When you're like, nineteen years old and you can make like twelve dollars an hour just taking blood
Like, sticking people in the arm, *** yeah. That's awesome. Especially when you're living at home and you don't have to pay bills.
Hell yeah, that's how I'm going to get the *** out of this place. Or maybe I'll just take more classes while I live here and have my dad pay for them.
And then get into something else, like maybe be an RN. Who knows? Who knows? That's my new catchphrase apparently.
Umm...so next thing I want to talk about is I had a death in my family.
Umm, so, my uncle Jack from North Carolina died and i went down there to visit with my aunt and help her with her house.
Back in April and then week after that we went to this memorial service back in my hometown of Johnstown.
It was really nice getting back there and seeing all of my family, umm, visiting the graveyard of my grandparents and a lot of my extraneous relatives
great grandparents, great-great grandparents, are buried. Umm, so that was nice, being able to visit with them.
And so, that was super great. And then the last thing I'll probably talk about is looking forward to the future. Umm...
No, actually, it's really funny. I get into weird moods where I just want to plan out my Halloween costume so long in advance
So I did this year. I started planning it back like last month and I'm finally about finished. I am going to be Lady Gaga for Halloween.
In full drag. And I'm going to perform Telephone and I'll probably video it and put it on YouTube. Who knows?
And maybe I'll have a make up tutorial video that I post on here. Who the *** knows?
Umm, so yeah I'm like going in full drag, like ***, tucking, you know, shaving, and make up, and wigs, and dresses.
And I'm making my own dress which I've never done before. So, that'll be an adventure.
Umm, I mean, it's expensive to buy all those cosmetics and all those stuff, because *** cost. *** cost money, people.
Umm, so yeah, I'm going in full drag and I'll probably end up posting it on a separate channel that will serve as my drag queen forays.
Because I'm really thinking seriously about doing that more often because dressing up in drag and going to school was super fun.
And I had a lot of fun doing it and I just love drag queens, so maybe I'll just do that too. I mean, shoot, who knows?
Umm, again with the who knows. Psh. Umm, so yeah, that's really like everything major going on in my life. And it's probably really boring to hear about.
But I figured that I better fill you in if you're going to be my subscribers that I've been getting more of everyday for some reason.
But I don't make videos [anymore] or ever. So, yeah, I think this is where I'm going to end this video.
You've listen to me talk on for long enough and maybe you should be on the look out for more videos. Maybe? Who knows?
So, umm, peace out everybody, and hope you have a good day. Mwah.