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Micronesia to be here in NEW YORK CITY. And we
are so damn grateful to be in this big *** administrative center.
Ladies and gentlemen, and organic chemistry students, back despite having no shoes or
strings, it's the most shoestring band in the world,
the Columbia University Marching Collection of Broken
Instruments!
They couldn't tell the difference.
Featuring: J. Arrested Development: Coming back
J. Jason Collins: Coming out and J. Macklemore: Coming... wait, not coming...
no, never mind he's coming
Welcomes itself back to spirited, saccharine, strangely antiseptic, sedulous, sententious,
sesquipedalian, semicircular, semicentennial, solipsistic, recently renovated, yet still
in need of renovation! College Library, where the shelves
are longlasting, but sadly not the men, and the
women are checked out but long overdue. As well as attendance in Frontiers of Science
going up, standards in Frontiers of Science going
down, and Emlyn Hughes at an alltime swimming in
undergrad ***, the Band now presents its 57th consecutive, 69th semiannual drive
to lower the curve in Organic Chemistry while consummating
the world's largest simultaneous Orgo! And so, in the interest of everyone's enjoyment:
SEAS students, please turn off your electronic devices.
GS students, please turn up your hearing aids. CC kids, please set your phones to vibrate,
and Business School students, GET THE *** OUT OF OUR LIBRARY!