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- I get to go home every night,
throw my pants across the room,
put my feet up, watch nine hours
of Top Chef, and ain't no one gets to say
a *** thing.
You want to know why, Ned?
Want to know why?
- Why?
- 'Cause I live alone!
- [Ned] Hi, I'm Ned and I'm married.
- [Voiceover] I'm Kelsey and I'm super single.
- You've submitted relationship questions.
We are not qualified to answer them.
- But we're gonna anyways.
- How to live with other people.
- How to jail yourself up.
Size into a bubble.
- Kelsey!
- How to limit yourself.
- What?
Have you ever had someone cook dinner for you?
- No.
Why'd you have to bring that up?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I walk into the room, throw my pants
across the room, and my wife says,
"Damn, that *** looks good."
We talk about our day, share our feelings with each other.
- When do you ever get to just
jerk it while no one's watching?
(laughing)
- I don't, you know, that--
- You don't!
When I'm at home alone, I'm drinkin'
like no one's watching, you bet your ***
I'm *** like no ones watching.
You can't do that when you live with someone.
- No, you're right.
People are watching.
Which sometimes, is half the fun.
- Ah, my eyes!
- You don't need to ***
because you're having sex all the time.
- Hey, I have sex all the time too
and I live alone.
Hey, am I right?
And I get the bed to myself.
Wedded,
- [Both] And spread out.
- The only reason I would move in with someone ever.
- Yes?
- Is to split the rent.
- Whoa, oh no.
- The only downside to living alone
is you gotta pay for everything
unless you steal your ex-boyfriend's HBO Go password.
- Yeah!
My and my wife stole my ex-girlfriend's HBO Go password.
- Gobsmacked!
If I don't want to go somewhere, guess what?
I turn my phone off and I just
pretend I died.
(laughing)
I live in an apartment so I wouldn't think
about moving in with someone
until I had enough space to be like,
"That's your side of the house,
"this is my side of the house."
- Definitely having space helps.
Like sometimes, I just go into the back yard
and just like putter.
- Are you sure you like living with your wife?
(laughing)
- I have learned a lot about good skincare,
good haircare, good moisturizing routine.
Do you know that I moisturize?
- That's a good point.
When I look up in the mirror everyday
at my outfit, I'm like, "I don't know."
- Look, we may disagree on this one,
but what we do agree on is coming home,
throwing your pants off, and getting
a big bottle of white wine.
- Just, just.
- And you know, just ***, sex someone up.
- Sexually. - [Ned] Just like,
just get yourself off.
- *** is super healthy.
(upbeat music)