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(alarm blaring)
Man: (on speaker) warning.
Cell breach in sector three.
Block all exits.
Danger level alpha.
(alarm buzzes and gate closes)
Hey, hulkies.
We're cruisin'
to the vault,
The max security prison
for supervillains.
Why? There's
a riot going on,
And the agents of s.
M.
A.
S.
H.
Are on the way
To restore the peace
With some grade a
smashin'.
Or in my case,
grade a-plus.
Step on it, red.
Riot's now at jailbreak
By absorbing man
and the wrecking crew.
Wreckers versus smashers?
Awesome.
They busted into
the vault's armory,
Got their weapons back.
That's enough oomph
to pancake denver.
But don't worry.
We'll pancake them.
And you better hurry,
greenie, or you'll miss it.
You beat me?
That'll be the day.
Ah, so it's a race.
(engine roaring)
That big tomato
thinks he can keep up
with our new jump jet?
(chuckles) we're powered by
an upgraded gamma reactor
Twice as efficient
as the old one,
and non-polluting.
We're going green.
Are you being serious?
Ooh, pretty light.
Skaar like flashy screen.
(crackling)
ah!
Skaar punish
sparkly light.
Save it for
the battle, kid.
(grunts)
Shouldn't his rough edges
be smoothing out by now?
Hey, he's still settling in.
No, he's regressing.
He hasn't learned to eat,
speak, or act like a hulk.
He has no manners at all.
(grunts) skaar have manners.
Big, green manners.
'least he stopped
chasing the mailman.
Hey, I trust
skaar completely.
Skaar, you lead
the charge.
But not until
Skaar lead.
Skaar lead good!
(skaar grunts)
she-hulk: Hey!
(yelling)
(scoffs)
(whistles)
He's a work in progress,
you know?
Two steps forward
and, uh, one leap back.
Right out of the jet.
Man: (on radio)
hulks, you're clear to land.
She-hulk: So, where's
slashy the barbarian?
Hulk: Probably
mopping the floor
with wanna-be escapees.
Skaar might have
rough edges,
But he can hold his
own against anyone.
(man grunts)
Listen.
What's that?
(loud thud)
(screaming)
(grunts)
Oh, yeah.
That's the stuff.
The absorbing man.
(laughs)
Taking out one dumb monster
Was no sweat for
carl "crusher" creel.
Smashing three
ought to be a blast.
(grunts)
(growls)
Absorbing man:
Say goodnight, doofuses.
Absorbing man's busting out.
(roars)
(groans)
(laughs)
(roaring)
Come on, skaar.
We gotta plug that
hole before more
villains escape.
You got the right
to remain smashed.
You got the right
to smell my feet!
(grunts)
You used to be tough.
Now you need
a fancy jet
And team green
to hold your hand.
What kinda hulk
are ya?
Right now I'm a
really ticked off hulk.
These ought to do it.
(both grunt)
Skaar help hulk.
Skaar, no!
Look, the other bad guys
are breaking out.
(groans)
(grunting)
Don't let the
wall fall.
Don't
A-bomb: Yeah,
that boom was titania,
Piledriver,
Thunderball, bulldozer,
and the wrecker,
Aka the wrecking crew.
Vacation's over, crew.
Let the wrecking begin.
(grunts)
(engine rumbling)
Huh?
Time to save
some green butts.
(chuckles)
is that a crowbar?
These clowns escape prison
or a hardware store?
(grunts)
No one fights the
absorbing man without
going through me.
We're partners
in crime and love.
I think I just threw up
a little in my mouth.
Ever wonder what it's like
To get run over
by a bulldozer, punk?
Nah, not really.
Ah!
(yells)
Skaar, don't let
him touch you
or your weapon.
(sighs) stubborn, headstrong,
Won't listen,
can't control himself.
(chuckles)
kinda like the old me.
(grunts)
Thanks for the
power-up, you
stupid caveman.
Appreciate you
covering my back,
wrecking losers.
Titania baby,
I'll write you.
Hey, get back here,
you two-timing deadbeat!
She-hulk: Boyfriend's not
the only deadbeat, honey.
Speaking of which,
where is the
absorbing man?
(engine powering)
I don't know.
Hulk: Oh, no.
(groans)
we just got
that jet.
(gun ***)
big deal.
We'll get another.
Stop.
Shoot it down,
And there's no telling
where it'll crash.
Hey!
Skaar shoot!
Skaar shoot good!
Skaar, no!
Oh! Well, that's one way
to stop a bad guy
from getting away.
Crash like that
wouldn't stop him.
(owl hooting)
Hulk: See anything?
Red hulk: No sign
of the absorbing
jerk anywhere.
(gasps) I found
the flight recorder.
Automated male voice:
Warning.
Crash imminent.
No.
No!
Got away, huh?
Rock, steel?
He could've
absorbed anything
to help him escape.
Could have tracked
the jet and caught him
If you hadn't
lost control.
(mutters)
Whoa, hulk,
you used to be
the same way.
Yeah, and hulk changed.
(sighs)
skaar needs
to change too.
I've got to
get him help.
(sniffing)
Red hulk: Ha.
Like what?
A dog trainer?
Hmm.
Doc samson:
Sit.
Sit down.
Please.
Sit.
Skaar,
I'm leonard samson,
But you can call me doc.
I'm a licensed
psychologist
who specializes
In metahuman
anger management.
(chuckles)
maybe you've read
some of my books?
Don't usually allow
my sessions to be taped,
But a video log
Could help skaar
digest his
(pages tearing)
(skaar swallows)
Book taste bad.
Your hair green?
(laughs)
yes, I have green hair.
Because, believe it
or not, skaar,
I used to be just like you.
Filled with gamma rage,
Walking through walls
instead of opening doors.
But I learned
how to fit in,
how to be normal.
And, skaar, I'm
going to change you
to do the same.
Hulk: Hold it there.
Tell me again
why we had to
haul that wreck
All the way home?
Hulk said there's
a clue to how
absorbing man
Got away in
there somewhere.
Only clue I wanna
find right now
Is the one that
leads me to lunch.
Who's up for
some pizza?
I'm down.
Count me in.
Barely any gamma energy
left from the blast.
Makes no sense.
Like it was
Absorbing man: Absorbed?
Hulk, guess who's
coming to dinner.
(laughs)
(growls)
Don't know how you pulled
this abracadabra act,
But you're going
back in the cage.
(groans)
Ah, I bet you,
absorbing that
gamma power
Made me as strong
as you are.
I feel like I could take on
Or take over a country.
Only thing you're
gonna take over
is another jail cell.
(grunting)
Samson:
I'll ask again, skaar.
Please move
to the door.
It's time for
your first lesson
In being civilized.
Now, I want you
to knock on the door,
But wait patiently
until I give you
permission to come in.
Okay, skaar,
go ahead and knock.
And knock.
And knock.
(skaar yells)
And knock.
(struggling)
Skaar's butt stuck.
(farts)
(coughs)
And knock.
(grunts)
Green hair tell
skaar knock.
Skaar knock.
Now, skaar come in.
Perhaps we're not ready
to knock on doors.
Let's back up
and start simple.
When you want someone
to do something,
You ask please.
Why?
Because "please"
is the magic word.
Why?
Because, skaar,
it's the polite thing to do.
Civilized.
Why?
Because it just is.
That's why.
(groaning)
Now I know why you
like being the hulk.
You got the power
to smash all you want
Without a care
in the world.
Listen to me.
You can't handle
this kind of power.
Only a matter of time
before you lose control.
(roars)
You'll be a
monster, creel.
(groans)
Ain't no more
crusher creel.
My small-time days
of robbing banks
is over, hulk.
The absorbing man's
going global.
I'm big-time now.
Hey, look at this.
I can even absorb
stuff without losing
my gamma goodness.
She-hulk:
Silly, creel.
Huh?
Gamma is for hulks!
Ugh!
How are we
supposed to have
a nice pizza dinner
With you twerps
rattling around
down here?
Bring 'em down!
(laughs) yeah!
Give me more power.
You kiddin' me?
Back off, stumpy arms.
Oh, no.
He did not just
slug our pet dinosaur.
He did.
He definitely did.
You just bought a
world of hurt, creel.
Hulks, smash!
Skaar slash.
Okay, skaar.
And what does this
one say to you?
Think about it.
Skaar, slash.
And this one.
Does it look like a bunny?
Maybe a birdie?
Skaar slash.
Skaar slash.
(sighs) not everything
has to be slashed, skaar.
Ah, skaar hungry.
But skaar not want
to eat book again.
Right.
This is a perfect
time for a break.
And a gentleman's lunch.
Some things require finesse,
Not slashing, skaar.
Like a nice meal.
Watch.
Mmm.
Green hair,
skaar know how to cut.
Skaar slash!
(sighs)
Maybe we should
try the salad.
Uh, the salad fork
is on the right side.
Skaar like green water meat.
(chomping)
Yummy!
Skaar, please.
You can have dessert,
But not until you relax.
Skaar, no slashing.
Use your spoon.
Like this.
(groans)
stupid spoon.
(slurping)
What? Skaar not slash.
Yes.
Skaar not slash.
Very well.
Bad time to send skaar
to charm school.
Could really use
the extra hands.
(growls)
Absorbing man
take all power.
Smash all hulks!
(all grunting)
Not only did he lay
us out, his grammar's
getting seriously awful.
Red hulk: He smashed clear
through the floor.
Hulk: Yeah, creel's
got the gamma fever.
He won't stop until he has
all the power he can get.
Oh, no.
He's going after
the base's reactor core.
Relax, skaar.
Just as the balls
in the middle remain still,
You can be part
of the action
Without smashing or slashing.
And to help you,
I'll use hypnosis.
You're getting sleepy, skaar.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
And when you wake up,
you will be civilized.
You will be polite.
You will not slash.
You'll only return
to your old ways
When you hear
the magic words,
"please"
(grunting)
Hey, we're in session.
Skaar, slash!
(hulk grunting)
Skaar, what's
wrong with you?
Hulk not say magic word.
(roars)
Skaar, do something!
Hey, shaggy,
any time now.
Hulk: Skaar, come on!
(grunts)
Skaar civilized.
What did samson
do to you?
(yells)
(sighs)
This isn't working.
We need to be
draining his energy.
You think he'll
sit still for that?
(grunts)
Ha!
You want some?
Mmm.
No, thank you.
Dude, a little help
with sponge man
would be appreciated.
Skaar change for hulk.
Hulk not want
skaar to fight.
(growls)
(sighs)
all right.
Didn't want skaar
to trade fighting
for afternoon tea.
Just hope he'd learn
how to open the fridge
Without slashing
the door off.
So we're down
the man-child.
Still got a job to do.
So, would
mr.
Fancy pants
Care to watch us
stop the bad guy?
I would indeed.
Thank you.
(growls)
Hulk: Don't hit him.
Just hold him down.
Whoa, whoa!
You call that
holding him down?
Hey, fido, I hope you've
been using your time off
To come up with a plan.
Don't fight.
Be polite.
Less with the
touchy feely and more
with the smashy slashy.
(yelling)
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
(groans)
So uncivilized.
Jackpot.
We can't let him
reach the reactor.
(growls)
Automated male voice:
Warning, emergency
lockdown initiated.
(alarm blaring)
(screams)
(grunts)
He's breached the core.
(laughs) yeah!
(laughs)
Yes, now me am
strongest there is.
Now me absorb world.
He's lost control
of his powers.
He's absorbing
everything.
Jerk's turning
into a black hole.
The world is next!
(yells)
Red hulk: Hey, is
Is that dog boy?
What is skaar doing in there?
Skaar, you have to stop him!
Skaar, please!
Please.
Too slow.
Skaar: Bald man,
get civilized.
Please.
(groaning)
You turned me into paper.
But I was gonna
absorb the world.
Absorb this.
(groans)
Skaar figured
when creel's
power's maxed out,
He'd absorb
the paper too.
A-bomb: (chuckles)
way to go, skaar.
Hulk: We owe one savage hulk
for saving our butts today.
Skaar, thanks.
Hulk are welcome!
Ugh.
So my methods
didn't stick.
Skaar is a product
of his environment.
Being around you
hyper-aggressive types
isn't helping him change.
You know he's
talking about you,
you fight-happy slob.
That's you.
He's talking about you.
'least I win
my fights, junior.
Ugh.
Watch where
you're pushing,
you apes.
Don't even
make me
Hey
(all arguing)
(laughs)
They'll never change.
Never.
(laughs)
they're never
Never gonna.
Never, never, never.
(continues laughing)
That guy should
see a doctor.
Well, tried to change
skaar into someone
he just isn't.
There's a difference
between changing and growing.
And he seems
to be doing that.
Skaar: (grunts)
come here.
Come here.
Who's a silly boy?
Who's a silly puppy?
Ah!
Hulk out.