Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Listen, there�s nothing I hate more than people who steal other people�s gimmicks.
Yeah, I�m talking to you, Shawn White. I�m calling you out publicly, you coward. You�re
lucky you cut that hair, too. Because as we all learned in the 1986 classic Highlander,
there can be only one.
I�m not Shawn White. I don�t take other people�s stuff. That�s one reason I hate
to do this...to review Zhu Zhu Pets for the Nintendo DS. These are f*cking hamsters, and
we already have a hamster guy. I hate hamsters and I hate Thursdays, so this is, like...I�m
way beyond the outskirts out of my comfort zone here.
Plus it�s...this is for little girls.
So this game was sent to us by Felicity in the UK. This girl...I�m telling you, guys.
She sends us boxes upon boxes of the weirdest crap...I mean, Hamster Thursday is only a
weekly thing because she sent us so many hamster games, it became a weekly thing. Nonetheless,
even TJ was like, �Nah, man. I�ll pass on the Zhu Zhu.�
�You can do the Zhu, Derek.�
He�s...TJ�s like a nerdy Dale Junior.
So I got news for you, guys. I have a whole freaking stack of Zhu Zhu games. And I�m
going to review them. Because no one else on the freaking Internet has. I might not
be the hero you need right now, Zhu Zhu fans, but...I�m the hero you deserve. Lieutenant
Gordon. And obviously, I have no freaking idea what to say about this game.
I mean, look at it. What do you want me to say about this? Honestly.
So Zhu Zhu Pets is, like...a hamster simulator and maze game. How is that even a thing? You
start with one hamster, and you have to...take care of it. You have to water the hamster,
feed the hamster, pet the hamster...put it in the toilet. You can�t flush the toilet,
unfortunately. The hamsters all have needs, like any pet simulator, so you�re giving
them what they need like a human slave to your hamster masters.
Who�s really running in the wheel here? You tell me.
There are nine Zhu Zhu Pets to unlock in total, so eventually, you have to multitask to address
their needs. It actually gets a little hectic for a kid�s game, which is kind of fun.
Once you�ve done all your nurturing, you can put the hamsters in these crazy mazes,
which is when things get a little more interesting. They�re kind of like those plastic hamster
cities, only with freaking ramps and coins.
What do hamsters even...purchase? Like, cedar chips?
There are about 30 of those mazes, and at first, they�re kind of fun. Eventually,
that wears off a bit. The game is really repetitive and shallow, so it�s not long before you�ve
kind of seen everything it has to offer. The touch controls are nice, but...the gameplay
in the mazes never changes, the sim stuff is never as deep as something like Nintendogs.
It�s just, it�s a very basic...very kid-friendly pet simulator and hamster action thing.
I remember reviewing a Zhu Zhu Pets game for Wii a long time ago, back when I was yelling
into the microphone. Why was I doing that? I was new at this whole video thing, and my
hearing was bad. But I remember that game being a solid little platform game for kids.
This is the same thing. It�s a solid little...whatever it is, for kids.
If I had to recommend one, I�d go with the platformer for Wii. To me, that was substantially
more fun than this. Then again, I use the word �substantially.�
So I�m probably not this game�s target audience.
I also have balls.
But hey, I still have a bunch of these left to play. So we�ll see where it goes from
here. Could get better. Could get way worse. It�s Zhu Zhu Pets for the Nintendo DS.
It�s like a hamster soup kitchen.