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(O.S.) Hey!
Hey!
I don't usually do this kind of thing.
Don't worry...I do!
(laughs) Last night was nice...
Most guys are usually pushy.
Speak for yourself handsy!
(laughter)
So do you want my number?
Uh...yeah...sure.
Yeah? Sure?
Well here's the thing. You don't have WiFi.
What difference does that make?
You'd be surprised.
Oh. What are those?
Um, vitamins?
Oh, what kind?
Let me get that number!
ANNOUNCER: In the city that never sleeps...
Hank and Alex are looking for a place...to sleep.
They made a bet to live rent free. But what they didn't know...
...is what it would cost them!
3 Rules: No paying for housing. No staying with friends and You can't leave Manhattan!
2 wiseguys...
1 stupid solution to a housing problem!
Squatters
Hey Mister! What do you think about this wallet? You'll use it every day!
Yeah, I have. It's mine.
Oh.
That's my wallet.
Well they all look alike to me.
I can see my driver's license!
Well today's your lucky day...
$10 finders fee.
$10?
Hey, I'll throw in the license for free.
Fine. (counts cash)
Hey that's a hundred!
I don't do change.
How much are the snowglobes?
Make me an offer I can't refuse!
How about NOT being arrested for selling without a permit.
See you don't know anything about me!
I think I got a pretty good idea.
Always gotta find a place to live...gotta find a way to make a buck...
Nope, still got it.
You know what? I like you so here's what I'm gonna do...
I'll give you the whole stash for 5-1-3.
$513?
It's my favorite number.
Favorite number? Favorite number!
You know what, I have a favorite number. You wanna know what it is? It's 45.
That's the amount of dollars that were in this wallet when you STOLE it! How about the number 8?
I love that number too! That's the amount of nights I've spent sleeping in my office...
since my landlord raised my rent and I refused to pay. And now I'm spending all the money I've saved...
to buy my crap back from you! HA HA! I shouldn't pay you, I SHOULD just come back here with the police...
But I'm not going to because in fifteen minutes if I don't get back to my office I CAN'T GET BACK IN!
So fine, fine. Here's, what do you have, 100? Here's...3...4...5...and...about 13.
You can't do that!
Hey, you don't have change and I am definetly not tipping you for your services!
Oh, hey mister...
Can you spare a dollar?
(terrifying laughter)
You got any change?
(phone dials)
You owe me $500, where are you?
AHHHH BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!
YOU KNOW I'M GONNA GET THOSE ***!
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
Hey Alex!
Uhhhhh...Hi?
They say you hit the gym every morning. How much you benching?
I'm sorry. Who are you?
Oh, I'm your new partner. Robert.
My what?
(O.S.) Beep, beep, beep, beep...News flash people!
Were in a recession. But instead of catching flack or layoffs, we've decided to decrease office space instead of all you people.
Uh, everyone's been partnered up with a "work buddy." We're gonna share cubicles so we can get twice the work done...
...in half the space!
Won't we get half as much done in half the space?
That's like saying you can't get a proper B.J. in an airplane bathroom...you can!
Yes...Alex.
Um, how long will we be doing this for?
Just until we figure out which one of you we're going to fire.
Corporate will be monitoring progress to figure out whose working harder than the other person. It's like a really fun game of WHO WANTS TO KEEP THEIR JOB!
Oh and we're also working "french hours" so that means no lunch, no bathroom breaks and no paid overtime.
That's not fair!
Your face isn't fair Phil, think about that.
We gotta band together! It's like a community...of brothers!
Of bullsh*t!!!
Alright, that's it. JIM!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- HA!
Woooo baby! See it, know it, think about, feel it! I'LL KNOCK YOUR *** CLEAN OUT!
Yo, I ain't lookin' for submission. This is my world, baby. I'm looking for PAIN...FOR BLOOD!!! WOOOOO!
Pound it. Yeah!
Alright? I kinda have a ***. Who wants some of that? No one? Get back to work.
Oh. Sorry dude.
Um?
Oh, go ahead...No? Alright.
Hey, uh...yeah. How about a little home court advantage here? I'll do some work now and then we'll switch at lunch?
Oh, I don't think so bro. I don't plan on leaving this cubicle....ever.
What are you going to sleep here?
I'm not losing my desk ever again!
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