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Email #2 -Dealing With Performance Anxiety in Sports
The clock is ticking with only 5 seconds to go and your kid’s team is down by two points.
The coach puts your child in…you can see they feel the outcome of the game is all on
their shoulders. The team’s final winning season is coming down to this one basketball
game, to this one final shot. If they win here, their team will finally win the state
championship. Lose and their championship dreams are over.
The crowd is going crazy. Everyone is on their feet…
So what is going on in your kid’s head at a pressure-packed time like this?
Do they really want the ball with the game on the line or are they freaking out inside,
worrying about blowing it and embarrassing themselves?
Can they step up to the free throw line calm, loose and focused, while blocking out the
fans and opponents who are desperately trying to get into their head?
Your child’s skills and abilities on the court are only as good as their mental skills.
With practice, they CAN learn how to block out distractions and relax under pressure.
They can focus on what is important and let go of their mistakes.
How do they handle their mistakes? Do they quickly bounce back from missed shots?
The sign of a true champion is how they deal with their mistakes and are able to confidently
put the mistakes behind them.
When their coach yells at them for blowing it, can they separate the coach’s rants
from their feelings of self-worth?
Lot’s of talented players end up performing way below their potential, because they couldn’t
tolerate making mistakes and never learn how to let them go. They beat themselves up, which
kills their self-confidence.
How about a time when they played “out of their mind”? Effortlessly?
To play their best, they need to trust themselves and let the game come to them. Too many players
try too hard to play well, because “it is the big game” or a scout is watching them.
Their natural skills and talents will only come out if they relax, trust themselves and
“let it happen.” Practicing the pressure exercise from the last email will help tremendously.
Young athletes are especially susceptible to performance anxiety, because they have
not been exposed and de-sensitized to many stressful experiences like adults and professional
athletes have. Going through any experience enough times, even if you are scared and eventually
makes it less frightening. Kids haven’t had that advantage.
Add to that, the fact kids are generally more open and sensitive with their emotions and
they haven’t learned to think entirely for themselves. Wham, you’ve got a potent mixture
for high anxiety, before and during competition. I can promise you if your child will commit
to strengthening their “mental muscles”, you will see their confidence skyrocket and
they will be able to manage stress and handle setbacks like a champion.
I see it as our job, as parents and coaches, to really be careful of what we say and do
to make sure we are constantly building confidence, instead of tearing it down.
Now, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean you need to be sweet, nice and positive
100% of the time. Kids need to be exposed to difficulty and challenge, so they develop
the ability to bounce back and keep moving toward their goals despite failures and set
backs. We will be giving you more tips on how to
walk that delicate balance between pushing them to excel and allowing them to find their
own motivation.