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As salam o aleikum
Walekum salam.
Is it allowed to beat the children in
order to make them follow the
principles of Quraían or otherwise?
No. This is very important question.
There is no mention in the Quraían that
the parents should strike or beat the children.
Because of the emotions or they are just
emotional peopleÖthe child only
emotions they have got. They understand
the intellect, they doníÖ, slowly and
gradually understand by the passage of
time. So there are times men, the parents,
father and thee mother, because of their
Öwhat do you sayÖtheir own problems,
they beat their children. .I would advise
thereís no mention in the Quraían that
one should beat their children. But you
can give them punishments, you know, so
they may realize that they have doneÖI
may ask them to stand in the corner because
youíve done this. So the moral conscience
you have to tell. Not that they are doing
anything wrong. Breaking things and you
donít do anything. It doesnít mean that
you ask beat. Physical beating is not
permitted. Thereís no mention in any ayat
in the Quraían that children should be
beaten by their parents if they donít listen
to you. Except, Iím telling you, you can
give punishments so that you develop
the moral conscience in the mind especially
with the boy. But still again they will do
it again and again and again. You are not
responsible for it. - because
it is their own life.
As salam o aleikum. I have a question.
Itís arisen from a quotation - that
Jannah is under a
motherís foot. Is it so?
No. This is a very famous quotation in
the world. Jannat lies under the feet
of the mother. So this is not mentioned
in the Quraían. But you see unusual
thing is in the Quraían there are two-
three references I would like to quote.
Like, for example, Maryam/Mary was
the mother of Jesus (pbuh). So Jesus
was a righteous prophet. And Mary was
the mother. One example. Then thereís
another example. Ibraheemís wife was
righteous and Ismaeel, Ihsaq, Yaqoob
were prophets. Okay? And the example
that is most important is that Firaon
and his wife adopted a son, that is Moosa
(pbuh). Now this is the important factor
that I came to know that there is not a
contradiction between the belief of the
mother and the son.
Thereís a contradiction
between the father and the son. If the son
- because the mother, whatever the
mother pours in the child becomes.
MoosaísÖFiraon wanted to slaughter
the son. So at that particular time
because they didnít had a son so Firaonís
wife said, letís adopt this son - Moses.
So Moosa (pbuh) was adopted by the
Firaonís wife. So whatever nice good
things she knew she passed them to Moses
and after Moses got the revelation and
itís not mentioned in the Quraían but I
would assume because she was brought
up by Moossa (pbuh) when she gotÖ
when Mooss (pbuh) was a messenger
and a prophet so she must have diverted.
And itís mentioned in thre Quraían that
she was not with Fiaraon. Because Moosa,
she was at, Moosa was adopted by Mooss
(pbuh) Öby herÖFiraonís wifeÖSo she
followed Moosa (pbuh) and got the Jannah.
She will notÖwas with Firapn. So this
application tells me that there are
contradictions between father and son.
Iíve had two occasions, father and son
and between wife also, Nooh (pbuh) and
wife, Luth (pbuh) was notÖNoioh (pbuh)
and Luth (pbuh) was righteous and their
wives was not righteous. So they were
not together on the Day of Judgment.
But there is not a contradiction between
mother and son. Wherever the son is,
the mother is. So mothers should know
that their Jannat lies in the sonís hands -
not in the feet. If you pass on the
goodness to your son the son will make
sure that you become right.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
As salam o aleikum.
Waleum as salam.
My question is regarding adoption.
Is it allowed in Islam? If it is allowed,
then what is the status of a
child whoís father is unknown?
Okay. Now In the world, in the
world one of the examples I just
now told herÖadoption people think
when to adopt and what to adopt and
if adoption is allowed or not. If you
note down the references,
Iím just giving the reference.
Three male genders adopted. In the
three male genders you will note thereís
one more point I want to... Iíve looked
intoÖthat Moosa (pbuh) was adopted
by a Pharaoh., none-believer. So if you
want your son to be adopted by even
a wrong person, you still can give. You
understand? If youíve got 10 kids
and you want somebody to adopt,
suppose, somebodyÖsomebody wants
to adopt your son and you want to give
it away because Allah has provided
so many kids, so remember you can
give it even to a Pharaoh. Pharaoh type
personality. But you cannot give your
daughter. Because Zakariya (pbuh)Ö
Allah made sure that the daughter came
under the influence of a prophet,
Zakariya, whatever the Maryam was,
but basic, her nucleus or whatever, but
she was a female, otherwise whatever
the character traits she had. So Zakariya
(pbuh) adopted Maryam, a messenger
of God. So we should not let our
daughters to be adopted by not a good
believer. You understand what Iím
saying? You should not let your
daughters to be adopted whoís not a
good practicing believer. A person who
is a boy, he can be adopted because
there are conditions mentioned in the
Quraían. Yousu (pbuh) was adopted.
Uh? But he was adopted but look at
the condition. Even a woman, Aziz wife
had, you know, wanted to have relationship
with the boy, his apparently own
adopted son. So what about the girl?
So make sure doing adoption, a person
who is adopting, youíre giving, if youíre
giving your son for adoption, if you are
giving, you must make sure your daughter
should be adopted by a good religious
pious person, a very pious person. And
even the son, you can take a chance
because the Quraían says the male gender
fight. I8f the adopted father is wrong,
Moosa (pbuh) took a stand. So they
had an opposition. But mother always
go with the son. .So that is adoption -
acha. If somebodyís fathers are not
known , then whose son, whoís your
father? If you do not know the name
of the father in the world of a son or a
daughter, what you call them? Or if
suppose a woman gets pregnant by some
illegal *** affair, so you must not
drop that child. It should be produced
. As it is by the will of God that child
came into being., Remember this,
very important to you. Because
So remember this a very important ayah.
Whenever an illegal act is performed
anywhere in the world., and it is wrong
, Iím not justifying
the act, the act is wrong.
But the birth of the child is created by
Allah. The birth of the child is created by?
Allah. So how you can say what we
use the word wrong for it? So Allah
says in the Quraían, if you do not know
the father, they are your brothers or
protectors. So that is how Allah save.
There are so many people in the world
who are created like that - by *** banks,
by so many other means, there areÖ
children created without a father. But
you can never ever call them bÖÖ.
because according to the Quraían they
are brothers. So your question, if you
do not know the father, they are your
brothers. And the protectors. Whether
Öbecause in the world people whoís
born likeÖ people are saying you are
not born of a father, you donít have a
father, you are like this, you are like this,
you are like this, so you are getting hurt.
What wrong he did? Their parents act
is wrong. We agree to it. But the child
birth cannot take place by the will of God
, except by the will of God. There are
couples who are married for so . many
years they cannot produce the children.
Do you know that? There are couples,
married for so long period but they canít
produce children. And once an act took
place and they were pregnant, they
got pregnant. The child. One act can
produce the children and you are
blaming that person who is born.
You are not allowed to blame the boy. Or a
girl whoís been produced by
an act which was not permitted by God.
Zina. So you cannot call that child wrong
by wrong name. Allah call them by Moula.
Thry are your protectors. So that is very
important question that you asked. We
people are labeling name. According to
Quraían every child is born by the
permission and the will of God. So
child has nothing to do. You should
have respect for this child. Only Islam
gives respect to these kind of people in
the whole world. No other religion this
Book gives this fact. And that is why
these people are being victimized because
their life from the very childhood, they
have got the label on the head that they
are a production of wrong act.
As salam o aleikum. My name is Amna.
My question is, as it is forbidden to raise
the voice before parent, does the same
way we required to respect
the parents our spouses?
Sorry, as it isÖ?
As it is, does the same way we required
to respect the parents of our spouses?
Yes. Youí re comparing spouses and parents?
Parents.
In parents relationship, noÖthe
parents are having a greater respect
than husband and wife, they areÖamong
the husband wife relation, the wife has
to listen to the husband. Thatís in the
Quraían. But in front of the parents they
have to respect the parents - more than
the wife, in relation. Because Allah
says for the wife , you sermon them.
Leave them from the bed and you strike
them - for the wife. But for the mother
and father, you cannot say Ouf! So you
have to respect the mother and father,
of the husbandís father and mother and
the husbands should also respect the
mother and father of the wifeís. which
normally men donít do. You see the
parents of a wife parents is also be
respected and the husbandís should be
respected more as in relation among each
other. But the wife should respect or
follow the husband. Because she has to
obey the husband. That is in the Quraían.
You have to obey Allah, you have to obey
the messenger, you have to obey your
parents and you have to obey your, wife
has to obey the husband. In the right, of
course the right things. In the wrong things
you cannot obey. As the Quraían says for
the husband and wife, for the parents,
he says you cannot obey them but follow
the one whop invites you to the message,
whoís a deputy. But for the wifeÖin the
Quraían itís not mentioned like this. In
relation with husband and wife. So you
can respect the parents more than the wife
and husband relationship. Because has got
the permission to beat the wife but cannot
beat the father or parents. So that is why
they have got the upper hand in any case.
Because I told you their old age, they have
so much struggle, you canÖ I mean
youíre a mother, you know how much
struggle you have done for your children
as compared to you must not have done
it for your mother. But the mother has
done it for you. Or the father has done
many things for you. So as a mother and
father, when you become a mother and
father you know hwo they have gone
through because if even if youíre in a
better situation they were in the more
better, not good situation, how much they
have struggled for us. So whatever our
existence is because of their struggle in
whatever manner they have struggled.
so that is why we have to respect more.
Thanks. Another question.
Okay.
If we are believer parents, we
have get wish that our children
practice and believe, at what age
we can give him message and at what
age they start implementation? Cam
any Quraínic verse? Age mention?
No. According to Quraían, No.
According to Quraían,, we, I told you
Öin my lecture also, so according
Quraían, you can educate them as you
are educating other subjectys, science
and geography, physics, but remember
they will not follow. Why? Because of
their age. And whyÖbecause they have
not done wrong, anything wrong, they
are innocent people. So innocent persons,
when they are innocent people, when
we are young, we are innocent and we
want to do something wrong. ThatÖ
when we are young, you know, we like
to doÖwhen I was very young and I
was not even mature as aÖbefore puberty
I wanted to stealÖwhat do you sayÖfruits
from a tree from somebodyís house.
And it was an activity. You know, when
you are young itís an activity, itís not
robbery basically. Itís an activity. Oh
can you do this. Oh, of course I can do
this. So because weíre innocent, we are
doing certain things wrong, not knowingly
that itís prohibited. Soi what Iím saying
, innocent people do things at a younger
age and now youíre trying to educate ayats.
Which adults are not able to understand.
How many times Iíve repeated but
people cannot understand and believe
so but the children you must educate but
do not expect them to follow. You must
educate from the very childhood. Meaning
education means the moral ethics. Once
you enter you say salam aleikum. In
normal house, Iím telling you, in normal
house practice, this is a very normal thing,
they cannot enter those hours, they should
knock it they should say salam aleikum.
Make it a habit. So thatís in the Quiraían.
So you can develop these little, little
things. But it is not being practiced. We
are reading it every day, lecture is there,
Allah says itna salam, we donít practice.
So when Iím saying elderly people do not
practice, then how can the
children practice? So small,
little things you start, make sure they,
little things like this, salm aleikum,
no problem. Otherwise, they say, Hi,
who are you? Bye. Acha bhai khuda
hafiz. Jrahen hain,m bhai, khud hafiaz.
So you are doing what the culture
is saying. Donít. You practice what
Quraían says. Allah hafiz. What
Allah haifiz? Salam o aleikum. Quraían
saysÖAllah hafiz is all right. I donít
say Allah hafiz word is wrong. Allah
means that protection of Allah or the
guarding of Allah or the preservation of
Allah. But the question when Allah says,
salam, even to his father, Ibraheem says
salam aleikum. In general practice you
enter you say salam aleikum salam. Means
peace. So make sure these little, little
things are educated and practiced. Slowly
and gradually. But still the bigger things
itís difficult to make themÖthey should
follow. But still you must keep on sharing
and sharing it. Thatís the important factor.
Our job is to share but we cannot expect
they will follow as Nooh (pbuhís) son did
not follow. That is the danger point.
Because if you expect people to follow,
then you get hurt. So you must have a
distance. Itís possible that
thney might not follow.
Yes please.
Salam aleikum.
Walekum as salam.
My question is from Surah 3, Aal-e-Imran
, ayah 14 where it is mentioned the sons
are adornment. If the sons are adornment
, then how to keep a balance of love
between in girls and boys in the house?
Yeah. ThatísÖwe should not leave the
girls as insignificant as I recited in the
verses that they are left out. You see the
boys are adornment, you cannot exclude
the father and the mother cannot exclude
that the boys are adornment for your
parents and your society. But you have
to, make, you have to consciously make
sure that they are not left out insignificant
as the Quraí;an says, I read. any ayat.
Insignificant because you are not giving
importance to the child., the girl child
. So they should be loved, huddled and
cuddled more and, you knowÖmake
things for them which they can enjoy.
You understand what Iím saying? So
you cannot let them go out as the son
is doing but what is the requirement of
the girl, you give them more importance,
consciously you know you have to develop
this conscious attachment towards them.
Unconscious you cannot do. Unconscious
you have love for your ÖYou
must have noticedÖevery father
and mother loves one child more.
And it is noticeable. It is noticeable
that this child isÖevery mother and
fatherÖif the other sisters and brothers
know that this son of mine is more
loved by our parents. So it is noticeable
. But now if Öit is noticeable but you
makeÖdevelop the consciousness of
more doing to those people. If I love
myÖsuppose one daughterÖso Iím
more more attached to that daughter
so I will do it naturally but the rest
of the daughters I am ignoring. Iím
letÖso I make conscious to doÖIíve
done this of my love because I have
love and affection for this girl or boy
but the other one I will consciously to
do it, no matter I donít have that kind
ofÖfeeling but as a job I will do it.
That the girl should not left out as
insignificant. That is the relationship
between boys and girls. Because normally
boys are loved more. The girls are left
out and make insignificant. So thatís
what Iím trying to say that you make
sure that the girls are made significant.
Consciously you do. Your love for your
sons will not go away. So you lift them up.
Otherwise youíre burying them up.
Salam aleikum, Sheikh Saheb
Walekum as salam.
I was wondering if parents realize
or the children realize that they are not
fulfilling the commitment, having found
out today and they want to amend among
each other. How would they go about it?
Would theyÖwould you be able to show
me a reference from the Quraíanic verses
- that what would be the amendment
process between Öthey realize
they are not doing it. \?
They are not doingÖ
And they are willing to fix among
themselves. So how would
they go about it likeÖ
You know the duaÖI told you
Yeah.
Because itís said that dua of Ibraheem
(pbuh) or of Moosa (pbuh)
or sorry, Nooh (pbuh).
But Brother, what if the kids and the
parents afre both alive and they both
want to fix? Like you said both the
parents have made mistakes and the
children have made mistake. And they
want to fix among themselves.
Now, actually if suppose your father
is not alive or you mean to say your
son is not alive or
brother is not aliveÖwhat?
No even with Ölike Iím a parent and
Iíve got kids. Iíve made
mistakes with them.
Now how to correct? Both of them?
Yes.
So if you have realized the Ösince
there is a SurahÖwell you have to go to
If you cannot, if youíre a poor person,
you cannot have average scale of 10
people toÖthen you fast for 3 days.
And that wrong should not be repeated
again keeping in view that this thing Iíve
done wrong so I fast for 3 days or I
feed the poor 10 people on an average
scale and also clothe them.
So in any condition not only specifically
in parent childrenÖany condition
including parent children relationship,
if you have done wrong to your child
now you have realized it, you say sorry
to the person, to the child, even of
your father, and because of this ayat
Iím saying sorry. And I want to correct
my life so Iím fasting for three days
and I will not do it again and son you
ÖAnd then youíre forgiveness from
Allah because it was the order of and
hokum of Allah not to do so. So this
is why you fast. And the guilt will go
away. And if you donít repeat. Similar
goes to the son. He should do the same
thing. This is the procedure laid down
in the Quraían. Whenever you do wrong,
whether father or son, if he wants to
amend by any verse which expounded
and he came to know this is where I was
wrong you admit that then you fast for
three days or feed the ten poor, ten people
you feed the ten peopleÖ You do this.
These are the things here. Right?
Thank you very much.,
With this we conclude our tonightís
session. We would like to thank
you all for your attendance. .As salam
o aleikum wa rahtmataullahe wa barakato.