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COOTER DAVENPORT WAS KNOWN AS THE REMBRANDT OF HAZZARD COUNTY.
FOR $29.99,
HE COULD REPAINT AN OLD HEARSE AND MAKE IT LOOK NEW ENOUGH
TO SATISFY THE FUSSIEST UNDERTAKER IN THE WORLD.
PSST.
PSST.
COOTER. OVER HERE.
YOU KNOW, IT IS A GOOD THING YOU CALLED ME BY MY NAME.
I WAS GETTIN' A LITTLE SPOOKED PAINTIN'
THIS HERE HEARSE FOR OLD BOSS HOGG.
I BET ABOUT HALF THE PEOPLE IN HAZZARD COUNTY
WISH HE'S IN THIS THING NOW.
THIS AIN'T REALLY NO HEARSE.
HE'S GOT ABOUT 4 OR 5 OF THESE THINGS
HE USES TO RUN THAT OLD MOONSHINE UP TO NASHVILLE IN.
WHAT WAS Y'ALL DOIN' UNDER THAT TARP?
WE WERE JUST HIDIN'.
YOU KNOW, I KINDA FIGURED THAT ONE OUT.
WHAT WAS YOU HIDIN' FROM?
WELL, YOU TAKE YOUR PICK.
IT'S EITHER A: BOSS. B: ROSCO.
C: THE ARMORED CAR COMPANY--
D: ALL OF THE ABOVE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL, ROSCO FRAMED US BUT GOOD.
[car horn honking]
(Cooter) SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.
IT'S ROSCO. LET'S DUCK.
[car horn honking]
COOTER, DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME TOOTIN'?
WHAT'S THE MATTER, YOU DEAF OR SOMETHIN'?
HUH?
I WAS HONKIN' AND HONKIN' FOR YOU.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, ROSCO?
WELL, YOU CAN START BY HANGIN' THESE POSTERS.
OOH. "$1,000 REWARD FOR CAPTURE OF--"
"BO AND LUKE DUKE." GOD, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT.
"WANTED FOR ARMORED CAR ROBBERY"?
YEAH, YEAH, DON'T THAT HAVE A NICE RING TO IT?
(Boss on police radio) ROSCO.
THIS HERE'S J. D. HOGG SPEAKIN'.
GOT YOUR EARS ON?
YEAH, BOSS, THIS IS SHERIFF ROSCO.
I GOT MY EARS ON AND MY EYES PEELED.
AND YOUR MOUTH RUNNETH OVER.
LOOK, PUT YOUR FOOT ON THE PEDAL.
AND IF YOU AIN'T AT THE PLACE IN 10 MINUTES,
I'LL NEED A NEW DOOR WHEN...
YOU KICK MY BUTT.
WHEN I KICK YOUR BUTT...
THROUGH THE ONE IN YOUR BANK.
THROUGH THE ONE IN MY BANK.
[tires screeching]
COME BACK AND SEE ME NOW, HEAR, ROSCO.
YOU KNOW, BOSS SURE WAS TICKED OFF AT SOMETHIN'.
WONDER WHAT HE MEANT BY "THE PLACE"?
YOU GOT ME. HE OWNS JUST ABOUT EVERY PLACE IN HAZZARD COUNTY.
I GOT A HUNCH WE OUGHT TO FOLLOW ROSCO
AND FIND OUT WHICH ONE. COME ON.
HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.
I GOT AN IDEA.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOUR IDEA.
(Balladeer) SINCE GENERAL LEE STOOD OUT
LIKE A WATERMELON IN A BOWLFUL OF CHICK PEAS,
THE BOYS BORROWED OLD COOTER'S TOW TRUCK TO FOLLOW ROSCO.
I WAS GONNA SAY: "WHY DON'T YOU BORROW MY TRUCK?"