Highlight text to annotate itX
As you know, Ashton Kutcher's character Walden on Two and a Half Men, has decided to remodel
his new house. To get a feel for how a real-life playboy would go about designing a space for
his own swingin' lifestyle, we reached out to our man on the ground.
Happy to be here.
Or should I say, man underground? Now, you actually remodeled an old army bunker into
a pleasure dome, is that correct?
I've remodeled several cold war era bunkers into pleasure domes.
And if Ashton Kutcher's character Walden were there, what kind of tips could he pick up?
The fountains. The fountains, probably, and maybe the massage oil library.
And several of those oils are on tap, is that correct?
40 of our best oils are on tap. And there are tons of flamingos.
Now, all those flamingos need sunlight, right?
Actually, they don't. And it's got amenities. 30 swingers could live down there, doing nothing
but partying for fifteen years straight. Sounds perfect,right?
Well it's not! I live by myself underground! I've been playing Settlers of Catan with a
flamingo for the last 6 months!
Listen, you don't have to-
I think he's taking a liking to me. I call him sparky.THere's enough food for him to
party for 10,000 years!! I calculated it on this abacus I made out of cavier!
It's pretty simple on paper. Build a pleasure dome, populate it with babes and supplies,
and party for 10,000 years. But it doesn't always work that way! Are you listening to
me, Ashton? You build a dome, and sometimes no one shows up! Sometimes, you wake up covered
in ice cream and massage oil, sleeping head to toe with a flamingo. I told you I'd sleep
on top of the covers. I woulda, too! I woulda!
Well, thank you for that image! Well, guess the swingin' bachelor's life style isn't always all it's
cracked up to be. Let's hope Ashton Kutcher's character Walden has a better experience.