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Gwyneth: We're inspired by women who have restarted their lives
using health and fitness.
We hope you are too.
(music)
I'm Gwyneth Paltrow.
Tracy: And I'm Tracy Anderson.
Gwyneth: This is The Restart Project.
(music)
Tracy: Angela's story is every mother's greatest fear.
The strength that she found is nothing short of amazing.
Larry: All right, let's warm up with some punches.
Ready, right!
Left!
All right, do it like you mean it!
Right!
Left!
One, two!
Tracy: Tell me how you got here.
How you accomplished all of this.
Angela: Gosh, I actually started just by coming in with my sons.
Larry: Open your horse.
Good, star block, right hand, lot of power.
Go!
Angela: Just going in with their private lessons
and seeing them practicing at home.
Just kind of saying, "You know, I don't think that's what they showed you."
Because I was sitting there watching.
(yelling)
Larry: Good, all right.
Say thank you for beating up on my body.
(laughs)
Angela: Then Larry Tatum, our teacher, would come by
and say, "So, when we going to get you out there?"
I'm like (scoffs), "Oh no, no, no."
So it was him ...
Tracy: So, the man that I watched instruct you today-
Angela: Exactly.
Tracy: Was actually the same man that taught your children.
And got you off of the bench.
Angela: Exactly.
Larry: Get your breath, you guys.
All right.
(breathing loudly)
(music)
Gwyneth: I understand that you've been through
the worst possible thing that a mother can go through.
Angela: Yeah.
2 years ago today, actually.
Yeah, today's the 2 year anniversary
and we got the phone call that, you know,
most parents just never think they're going to get.
When they do there's just no words to describe it, really.
You know, as a mom, you do everything you can
for your kids to keep them safe.
When my oldest son Matthew told me
that he wanted to go into the military,
didn't take it well.
Can't lie.
We were in the middle of 2 wars at the time
and I just thought that this was not the best option.
Gwyneth: What had happened?
Angela: He was in the airborne unit so he did jumps out of airplanes.
He had a bad jump one day, hurt his ankle really bad.
They had him on pain medication.
He and some friends went out and had some beers,
and he came back to the barracks, and didn't make PT or formation.
He just ... he just didn't wake up.
Gwyneth: I'm so sorry.
Angela: Yeah.
Thank you.
Gwyneth: (whispering) I'm so sorry.
Angela: Say hi, everybody!
My relationship with Matthew was really close.
That bond with your first kid is one
that's different from the others.
He was definitely spoiled.
Total Mama's boy and I may have played into it
more than necessary.
But he was just so funny, I couldn't help myself.
Show me those abs!
(laughs)
(crying) It wasn't fair, he was such a good kid.
Everyone loved him, everyone ...
Gwyneth: I can't imagine how you're still standing up.
I think I would die.
Angela: I thought I was.
I literally thought I would but
I know his brother and sister need me.
And I need me.
Gwyneth: Of course.
Angela: So I knew I had to keep it together for them.
That's what I've been doing.
Tracy: What do you think got you out of it?
Angela: It wasn't even a conscious decision.
It just, one day I woke up and I thought,
"I'm going back to the studio."
When I'm at the studio I feel Matthew with me.
I knew how close we were there and them growing up,
literally on the mats.
It's still where I get my strength from.
When I'm there working out, it ends up being so cathartic.
It just proved to me, yeah that's exactly where I need to be
because that was my lifeline for so long.
Larry was at Matt's service and he got up and spoke,
and I knew that that was going to be the one that broke me
and I just lost it.
Larry: Hello, hello!
Angela: He just said some really great things about my boy.
Larry: You know, every karate studio has a place of honor, okay?
This is special.
This is your brother and your son.
He's going to be honored here in the studio, okay?
We're going to put it up on the wall
for everybody to see.
Come here.
Take a look at that.
That's for you, okay?
And that's for you too, okay?
Angela: Thank you.
Larry: Okay, come here.
All right.
(crying)
Okay, you want to help me put it up?
Angela: Yeah, sure.
Larry: All right.
Angela: He was just 1 strap away
from his black belt when he stopped training
so Larry promoted him to black belt (crying).
It's on the plaque with him and it says,
"To our fallen Kenpo brother. Matthew McNamee.
"Keep fighting for us until we see you again."
Thank you.
Larry: This my baby.
Angela: Yeah, it's my daddy.
(laughs)
My life now, it's better than I expected.
Yeah, it's bad on one hand that I lost my son,
but I need to help his brother and sister get through it.
If they see me strong and knowing
that I'm getting through another day,
that they can do the same.
That just means everything to me.
(music)