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Welcome to draw my life with me, Lionel Messigician
And as Ron Burgundy once said: "I'm kind of a big deal"
Nice play on words! Go away, Cristiano...
I was born on June 24th, 1987 My dad was a steel worker
...And my mom was a part-time Cleaner
Hiii-HOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, go away, Cristiano!
I was born in Rosario, Argentina
I joined the Newell's Old Boys at the age of 6
I did okay, I guess...
Scoring nearly 500 GOALS!
We were nicknamed the "Machine of '87"
At 11, I was diagnosed with "GHD" Haha! Not "ghd's"
I meant "Growth Hormone Deficiency" really
Hey! I didn't give you permission to use my image!
...You'll be hearing from my LAWYEEEERS!
I took hormone supplements like Cristiano, my dad didn't have...
A problem getting outside help to grow his son
...You'll be hearing from my LAWYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!
...But hormones were expensive! through luckily Barcelona watched a video
of me Juggling oranges and tennis-balls And I was invited for a try.
They've offered me a contract on a napkin as there was no paper
...Let me type this up
I was a Barça player. I've made my Barça debut on October 16 '04
Against El Espanyol. I was the 2nd youngest Barça debutant ever
7 and a half months later... I've scored my first goal
By the way... My goal celebration is a tribute to my grandma
...Who took me to training and matches as a child.
In 2004, I turned down a chance to play for the Spain's Number #20
Just think. I maybe could be as bad... I-I-I mean as good as Torres
My debut for Argentina could've got better
I was sent off 44 seconds after coming on as a substitute!
After that by start I've became the youngest Argentinian to play and score
...In the World Cup. I was nicknamed "Messidonna"
...And even scored a goal featuring a "Maradonna" against Espanyol in 2007
And then I became kind of a"Big Deal" winning all kinds of trophies...
7 La Liga's, 4 Champions league 3 Copas Del Rey, 3 UEFA's super cups
3 FIFA's World Club Cups
...And 5 gooolden things!
...Did you hear me Cristiano? I've said 5!
And one day you'll hopefully win something with your country club.
...Says you.
What's next? Who Knows
But it's going to include lots of medals and a Bucket-load of records!
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