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We can all pretty much agree that Goldeneye for the Nintendo 64 is a classic. Everyone
remembers being over on of their friends houses and just playing hour after hour of the multiplayer.
It was amazing and still holds up today. Now how do you follow up one of the greatest first
person shooters that had one of the best multiplayer modes ever? By making it into a third person
action game and take out the multiplayer completely. Wait, WHAT? How could they let that happen?
Goldeneye was incredible and now they had the chance to improve on it and they decided
to change everything about it. To be fair, it is created by both a different developer
and publisher, but come on. I wanted an improved Goldeneye, not this. I guess if you are going
to pay all that money for the rights to use the likeness of Pierce Brosnan you are going
to want to show more of him than in just the cutsceens, right?
So as mentioned, this is a third person shooter. Bond goes around to different locations killing
bad guys and seducing women, all the things Bond does while on a mission or I do on a
Tuesday afternoon. The things Bond gets to do are fairly fun. There is always a good
of bad guys that have a craving for bullets that only doctor Bond can prescribe. And there
are those moments that make you legitimately feel cool. Like in the first mission, after
you blow up the satellite dish you escape down the hill on skis. You stab enemies with
you ski poles while trying to do a better job than Sonny Bono did with avoiding trees.
And it ends with Bond launching himself off the mountain and releases his union jack parachute,
pretty cool.
When you play through this game you will be reminded of the movie, The Good, the Bad,
and the Ugly. The Good is the cool Bond moments are the few and far between. The Bad are the
controls and the Ugly is everything else. Bond controls like a Korean tank. Push up
on the D-pad and Bond runs straight ahead. Thank God this control scheme died out because
this makes the game much more frustrating than it has to be. It should not be this difficult
to walk up a set of stairs or into a bunker. Also the game has an auto target system. You
don’t even have to press a button to use it. Just get close and it picks the enemy
it wants you to shoot. Not the best system. And the graphics look, well to say it nicely,
if you put this game in the bell curve of video game graphics, it have a very high derivative.
The Pierce Brosnan model looks like he just came from a haunted Home Depot because he
has a really bad case of Shovel Face.
The game is, well, a disappointment. I was hoping for some more Goldeneye with the awesome
controls and addictive multiplayer. In return I was given a poor attempt at a game that
feels very rushed and unfinished. The graphics are below that standard and the controls are
miserable. And they didn’t even put in a multiplayer. This game is a shame, it could
have been so much more.