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The neighborhood kids just love to go down by the river
and we're always telling them:
there are too many risks.
Drowning, catching a cold...
As a mother, I'm concerned!
We decided to hide the life vests,
we did not want to send the message
that it was OK to be going in in the first place.
And we keep telling them: don't you dare do it,
there's a shark!
Would you believe that some other parents of the school
want to have swimming lessons during the school day?
It's as if they want to see their kids drown!
There is a little teeny-tiny problem
with Abstinence Only education.
A little teeny-tiny issue of being entirely removed from reality.
Fun fact: your grandparents, when they were teenagers...
they were doin' it!
Your great-great-grandparents?
Doin' it!
Your great-great-great... OK, you get the point.
And teenagers today...
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret!
They're still having sex!
And it's not really just teenagers,
95% of Americans are having sex before they get married.
And that's probably because, in reality,
most people end up feeling ready for sex
before they end up feeling ready to get married.
Research shows that giving kids information that they need
to make healthy informed decisions about sexuality
actually delays the age that they first have sex,
that it lowers pregnancy rates and STIs.
And that the kids who are taking the abstinence oaths,
they're the most likely to get pregnant or an infection.
So, why is it then that 27 states in the US
have abstinence-based education programs?
Why is it that only 12 states require medically accurate sex-ed?
Why is it that only 8 states require
that the information be unbiased?
Seriously, my brain...
The motive behind Abstinence Only education is fear.
If a program does talk about STIs,
it's not to teach you about STIs.
It's to show you the most gruesome,
extreme scary pictures they can find.
If they talk about birth control,
they exaggerate the rates of failure,
and say that it's not a reliable way to prevent pregnancy.
Liar!
They make girls scared by telling them they're *** if they have sex.
Liar!
They're "a lock" and boys are "a key"...
Sexist!... And a liar!
That sex before marriage will ruin your relationship.
Liar!
That if you have sex, a chemical will be released in your brain
that will make you attached to the person forever!
Liar!
"Education"!
Don't... go there.
This isn't education, this is anti-sex propaganda
that your taxes you're about to pay in the next few months
pay for.
And the best part about it is that it doesn't curb STIs,
or pregnancy, it doesn't stop people from having sex.
It just ensure that when people do have that sex,
that it's the most guilt-ridden,
unenjoyable and uninformed experience possible.
"Hey Laci, is it bad if I don't wanna have sex?"
Absolutely not!
The option not to have sex is just as important
as the option to have sex.
Becoming sexually active before you're ready
is when stuff can go all...
Don't push yourself, or someone else, for that matter,
if you're not ready.
In the meantime, learn a thing or two about your body.
I may or may not be talking about ***...
And to think about what you want out of your relationships.
And how can you know if you're ready?
Here's a Sex+ checklist.
Do you trust each other?
Do you feel safe together?
Can you talk about it if something's bothering you?
Do you listen to each other?
Do you talk about having sex together?
By that, I mean you can talk openly
about what you want out of a relationship,
boundaries, birth control if you're having hetero sex,
*** health status and STIs?
Don't feel like you need alcohol or drugs to have sex, right?
You know how to use condoms and dental dams to prevent STIs?
And last but not least, you both feel ready to do it,
you both want to do it and nobody's pressuring the other?
If you answered yes to all these questions,
you might be ready to become sexually active.
But here's a crazy question.
Where are teens supposed to figure out
how to prevent STIs and pregnancy,
how to communicate and foster a healthy relationship?
Where do they learn about what consent looks like?
Where between the sexist analogies and the false information
do teens learn how to navigate sexuality in a healthy way?
As a peer educator who's worked with thousands of teens across the US,
I'll tell you the answer:
nowhere.
These policies of ignorance, fear and shame have got to stop.
Alright babes,
make sure you like me on Facebook, follow on Twitter,
I'm also on tumblr, check it out,
I'll see you again soon.
Special thanks for transcript : jlgirlxox