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Nope, don't say mice infestation.
uh no. no ones gunna wanna move in.
Dude no one cares.
Alright and we're done.
I saw your ad on craigslist.
Can I get a room?
Dude that kids *** creepy.
Hey is that the UPS guy?
He has my Tom Brady bobble head!
Wooo Patriots! YEeah hah.
Okay, dude we need the money. I'll.. I'll handle this.
[transition music]
Do you have the money?
Yes, I keep it with my mother.
So right over here to your right, thats the bathroom
shower everything you need in there
Okay, this is gunna be where you're staying.
Technically you're going to be sharing a room with sam,
but he always passes out on the floor so.
Right and this is our room which is off limits, unless you absolutely need something.
What did you say your name was again?
Well Dan, my friends call me the punisher.
How did you know my name?
It was on the craigslist.
Dude I made that craigslist.
Are you wearing make-up?
[transition music]
And that's the final premise of the tv show.
Dude I watched it, it sucked.
Dude I can't believe you let that freak live with us.
You shouldn't talk about Sam like that.
Do you have some milk?
You got to buy your own groceries man.
Yah, I know. I need milk.
Glad we understand each other.
You don't understand. I seemed to have to have misplaced my milk.
Dude we don't know where your milk is.
Oh.
Royal Flush!…
***.
[transition music]
Eeeeh!
Jay?
Jay? Are you alright?
Jay?
Jay's… busy.
What's going on, I heard a scream. Is Jay alright?
I told you. And where's my milk?
I didn't take your damn milk. Jay if you can hear me say something!
He can't hear you where he is.
This is some *** up ***. Sam??
Sam. Sam dude i think that.. are you drunk?
Yah, what of it?
Sam it's ten in the morning I mea..Did you want something?
I think..I think Alex might have killed..BLAH.
Come on, get your act together we got to go figure this out.
I'm a little busy right now.
Sam, it's a matter of life and death.
BlAHHEH.
What the hell is going on…?
[scary music]
Jay? Jay, jay. Are you there?
Uh, uh, Jay unlock the door, Dan it hurts.
Jay i won't let alex hurt you any more! open the door!
Sam?
What did you do to my friends?
You are my friends.
No, no. I'm getting out of here.
Dan, I just want to talk.
[transition music]
Are those..URNS?
I have a surprise for you Dan.
Stay away from me you f..freak!
There's no need to be afraid, Dan.
You..I know what you did to Jay and Sam
I've worked so hard to make this night work out Dan. Let me show you what I've been doing. What we've been doing.
No..NO!
Never!
Surprise!!
[laughter]
Hey dude, yo! hows it going?
You guys are alive?
Of course we're alive, we through you a party!
But you, and you..he KILLED you guys!
He killed us? what?
You thought I murdered them?
Well Jay what about the screams from the bathroom.
Alex was just helping me wax my legs.
AhH!
See?
[transition music]
But I saw you on the edge of the forest with a shovel.
I thought I buried my milk out there.
Okay..well what about you? You had blood on your shirt.
Dude, i was just making a sandwich!
You know me I get ketchup on me every time! It gets everywhere!
Oh jesus. OH no! uh huh huh huhhhh…
Well what about the urns on the kitchen table?
Party favors dude! Yeah!
Ohh!
Come on Dan, have a good time.
You know what, you guys are right.
Alex, you're a good kid. You're a good kid.
Looks like we're becoming fast friends.
Hey look, I found my milk.