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Mortal Wombat!
This gives new meaning to the term "road kill."
Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Poor wombat, he should have got religion.
Napkins come from trees. Take only what you need.
Jeez Louise!
When trees start fighting back, we've had it!
Love scenes are forbidden.
That goes for you too, Microsoft Sam!
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!
Ewwww! Just say it, Sam, don't spray it!
Reserved for Dr. OMG.
Dr. Omg? What sort of weird-*** name is Dr. Omg?
Dr. OMG is the doctor who treated us in the hospital.
I dig how he got his name.
He took one look at Sam and screamed: "O...M...G!"
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Shut the hell up!
Tourist police.
They sure are strict around these parts.
Tourist police, where are they coming from?
Tourist police, nobody knows who they are.
Moose Fart.
Moose Fart? I didn't know mooses farted.
Mooses? Meese? Mooses?
The gas around here is worse than emitted by cattle.
What could be even worser?
[BOOSH!]
Ewwww! Go clean yourself up, Sam! You're making me sick!
[BOOSH!]
Uh-oh! I spoke too soon again.
Please lock the outhouse door when you leave.
Porcupines have been eating the outhouse.
Now they tell us.
You mean that wasn't toilet paper in there?
Ouch ouch ouch!
Wanna help me get those quills out of my butt?
Quills in your butt? Eeewwwwwww! Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
[Mary barfing]
Police Notice:
Swimming in sea assures your death.
Boating leads your way to death soon.
Horse riding is banned. Beware of touts.
Basically, you're doomed.
Look who's talking doomed.
No Name Street.
This must be the place U2 had in mind
when they sang about where the streets have no name.
Watch it, Sam!
Universal Music Group could have this video pulled and davemadson's account suspended
for using U2 songs without permission, and you'd be blamed for it!
English Wine & Beer Shop. Child Beer available here. Welcome.
The liquor laws are the most lax here.
If they served beer to seven-year-olds,
wait till they're old enough to drive!
Our coffee is an experience that chalk is unable to convey.
So true. Nobody thinks of drinking chalk.
I'll bet Sam could.
I saw him dip chalk into hot water before he drank it a minute ago.
Drinking chalk? Eeeewwwwww! Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!
[Sam barfing]
Just kidding, Sam. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Lighting first. Come on baby, light my foyer.
If they search the top rooms, they might find the ghost of Jim Morrison hiding out.
Microsoft Mary can light my foyer any time.
Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Stay calm, Mary.
Don't blow your stack.
Keep
your
cool.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum
coming
on.
Eee-yowowowowowowowowowowowow!
Microsoft Sam, keep your dirty thoughts to yourself? You hear me?
You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!
[BOOM!!]
Diapers and politicians should be changed often, both for the same reason.
Jeez Louise! I knew the government was cutting back, but really!
Whoever heard of a senator wearing diapers?
Senators in diapers!
Hahahahahahahahahah senators in diapers hahahahahahahahahah senators in diapers
hahahahahahahahahah sen---
[BONK!]
Ouch!
Death to the IRS.
Death to the IRS?
That must be the work of those Tea Party radicals.
Shame on the Tea Party.
Shame on all involved with the Tea Party.
Careful with your words, Microsoft Mike.
They'll come back to haunt you.
Rabbits and babies for sale.
So this is how low our standard of living is sinking?
Poor families selling their children.
This is what happens when the rich and corporate control everything.
If you engage in class warfare one more time,
I'll throw the book at you!
Danger! Flying golf balls!
Here they come! Fore!
Five!
Six!
Not F-O-U-R four, F-O-R-E fore, you ***---
[Pow! Pow! Pow!]
Ouch ouch ouch!
Don't be afraid of the space rays.
It's hot enough already with those solar rays.
So that's why Sam's skin got all red and blistered.
He sat in those space rays too long.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
No no no no no no no no damn damn damn damn crap crap crap crap!
Microsoft Mary, you'll get yours one of these days! You hear me? You'll get yours!
You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** bi---
[BOOM!!]
Ye Gads! Mary, are you all right?
I'm okay. I just need a little help getting free again.
And where are Sam, Mike and the Speakonia Voices?
There's only one place to look, and I'm afraid I know where they are.
Holy Schneikees!
They're in Satan's Kingdom again!
I'd better summon the angel to rescue them.
Not so fast there!
You, Sam, Mike and the others are under sentence of eternal perdition
because you are all guilty of an unforgivable sin.
You can't convict on hearsay, Satan!
You must show me evidence! Now!!
Only when they are dead, you hear me?
You asked for it!
[BLAM!]
Welcome. This is God's Country.
Please don't drive through it like hell.
No! No no no no no! Why'd you bring me here! Let me out!
Eeee-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Did you see him run, Mike?
He darted out like a comet.
The mere mention of God makes the Devil want to vomit.
Now that you're all safe, let's go rescue Microsoft Mary.
IAMACAR.
Tscha! As if they didn't think of something better to put on a license plate.
A license plate saying "IAMACAR?"
Well, DUH!
In other news, Chuck Norris returns from Pakistan.
I didn't know they studied martial arts in the Middle East.
Maybe Gadhafi should move in with his buddy.
Marshall Arts.
Hahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
House of Pain.
Isn't that what the angel helped us escape from?
Now hear this, Microsoft Sam! This is your new home!
Enter! I order it as your true lord and master! Enter! Now!!
Oh no you don't, Satan!
Take that!
[BONK!]
And if you bother Sam and his friends one more time,
I'm taking you to God's Country!
*** *** *** *** ***! I don't like it, not one little bit!
[BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK!!]
No Swimming In This Area.
Oh crotch! Nothing but water for miles around
and I'm not even allowed to blub-blub- blub-blub...
Confidentally, Mike...
I know... I sink. Sheesh!
And shush the sheesh, you ***!
No no no no no no no no dammit dammit dammit dammit!
Microsoft Sam, I forbid you to call me an *** ever again!
I am not now an ***, nor have I ever been an ***,
nor will I ever be an ***!
You sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch!
[BOOM!!]
New drink. Osama bin Laden Drink.
It's 2 shots and a splash of salt water.
It's the kind of drink you'd find in the toilets in a rest area.
Hahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Toilet water? Eeeewwwwwwwwwww! Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
[Mike barfing]
Orville Wright did not have a pilot's license. Amelia Earhart did.
So why didn't they arrest Orville or find Amelia?
Feminist propaganda will never die.
Don't start hating on us, kiddo!
Turn Lelt.
Lelt? What kind of dumb-*** word is "Lelt?"
Lelt, the opposite of Rigrt.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Warning! Trail below! Do not throw objects into the volcano!
Alright, who pilfered my lunch box?
I don't want me or the volcano losing my lunch.
You ask credit, I no give, you get mad.
I give credit, you no pay, I get mad.
Better you get mad.
Don't get mad, get even.
Orgi, one mile.
I feel like going to one, don't you?
Only if I do it with Mike
and Sam does it with one of the Speakonia Females.
Come on, Sam. I won't bite.
You'll like having one with me.
All aboard the RoflCopter! We're taking off for Orgi!
soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi
soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi
Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!
Control yourself, you mangy ol' devil!
This is only for your own good.
I hope this teaches you a lesson not to torment souls without first showing conclusive proof of guilt.
They should've let me pin Sam down anyway!
Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi...
Oh Sam, I never felt a sensation like that before. I love you.
I love you too.
Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
[Mary barfing]
This has been a davemadson films, inc. production.