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What sorts of places have you been?
- I've been all of them. - All of them.
Europe, mainly, except Spain, because I'm avoiding someone.
Jordan, the Arab Emirates, Iran
She's like a dove of peace.
My mom traveled quite a bit.
What for?
I don't know. Why does anyone travel?
- I can think of some reasons. - That's a good question.
- Lots of people travel for work. - Right.
- Did your mom work? - She tried it once. I don't think she liked it.
- Ah. - And what do you do?
Um, as far as, like
Well, like, Taj here
always dated very ambitious women.
What was that one she ran the Oprah network or something?
- Oh, Dad, we don't need to talk about Fern. - Fern! Fern.
Fern? That's a ridiculous name.
You know, Jessa is actually a very talented artist.
- Oh. - And she's just trying to work out right now
which avenue to go down.
Um, probably graphic design, I think is
Thomas-John Sr. Oh, what college you go to?
Oberlin College. Oberlin College.
Oh, but that's a very good school.
- It is a good school. - You know, I only went there for seven months.
- Oh, you did? - Yeah.
Well, you know what I always say,
seven months is better than no months at all.
Oh, that's a great saying.
So, Jessa, why did you leave?
I, uh, had to go to rehab.
- Ugh. - Oh, so you're back on the drink again?
- That's great. - Yeah, no come on.
I've been drinking since I was a child.
- It's not alcohol. - Of course.
- It was for ***, actually. - Oh.
You know, Jessa does her own hair.
I've always wondered about ***.
- I always wondered, like, what it would feel like. - Yeah.
- What it is when you take something and you just - Big Taj.
just disappear in it.
Hmm?
No, it's delicious. It's amazing.
But if it didn't ruin your whole body
and your whole life, we'd all be on it right now.
- You know, practically coming out of our eye sockets. - Would we? Would we, though?
I never shot it. I only snorted it.
- That's important. - Yeah, it's just like an Advil.
You know, the kind of movies I like
are movies about schoolgirls who fall in love.
- Oh, that's not creepy, Dad. - I do, too, actually.
I love you. I love your way.
- Thank you. - Can I just for the record, can I just point out
that I have never seen Jessa take ***
in the whole time that we've known each other.
Fabulous.
You certainly have lived a lot.
I guess so. I guess so.
Oh, but it's very impressive,
especially since I haven't heard a word about work.
Um, yeah, well, I'll figure it out.
- She's resourceful. - Mm.
Must be very nice to find yourself in such a
successful situation.
Situation?
Well, what is one supposed to call it?
Well, one's supposed to call it a marriage, Mom.
Or a union.
- A union of souls. - Yeah.
Union. Excuse me.
Well, I would just like to thank the Lord
that you weren't hurt,
especially in the face and especially on your body.
- Aw. - Oh, my God.
Well, I wish there was a Lord
- Oh, my - but I know there isn't.
And this is why we didn't invite you to the wedding.