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I do love to cook. Something that not that many people are aware of.
In fact, it's one of the reasons why I agreed to this documentary - just to prove a point:
I am not the man you may think you know from a multi-million-dollar movie series.
My life isn't all about pirates.
Lots of it is, obviously. But with any luck, there are further depths to be plumbed.
Now, quiche dish... Quiche dish, quiche dish, quiche dish.
Usually, I wake at dawn.
The first thing I do is pop into the bathroom and help myself to a glass of water.
To really get me going for the rest of the day, I find that nothing beats good old
'Aitch Two Oh'.
Well... Almost nothing.
Once I'm feeling refreshed, it's on with the rest of my household chores.
From the mundane...
To the bureaucratic.
Of course, I try to keep things ship-shape.
Both outside...
And in.
But all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. As a result, I embrace any opportunity
I get to enjoy the local gossip.
Every Tuesday, I have a meeting with my accountant.
Colin! How are you? Come in.
Thank you.
He's a lovely bloke and he's always up for a laugh.
You haven't paid your mortgage for the last six months.
Right.
You have to do something about it now.
Okay. Just going to pop out for a moment. Completely unrelated matter. Bear with me.
No good! Apparently plundered Aztec gold isn't legal tender. They also said I needed a
'regular source of income'. I mean, I thought about being a kids' entertainer, but I hope it doesn't come to that.
The afternoon usually finds me indoors, surfing the worldwide web.
I have just received an invitation to a barn dance. An 'e-vite'... And I am still in the country then,
so I can click on 'attending'... Done.
I like to let my hair down, too.
Whether that means going on a simply country stroll...
Or getting a spot of exercise...
Ah, Ross!
Cap!
Are you ready for a thrashing?
We'll see, we'll see...
But best of all, for me, is having the lads round for a boys' night in.
Paul! Paul! Paul! Paul! Paul!
Wahey!
Oh dear!
By the end of the day, I'm usually shattered.
I might head out for a bike ride, or pop over to see a friend in a local village.
Anything really. That's what being a pirate means: freedom. And, as a result of a recent conversation with Colin,
the occasional appearance at a child's birthday party.
Goodnight.
Oh dear!
Go on, Dillon! Defend yourself!
Captain, can I get you something to eat or drink?
I'm fine, thank you, mate. I already had a very large glass of water before I came out.