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>>> TIME NOW FOR TH"THE
RIDIC
RIDICULIST".
IT INVOLVES A CAPTAIN, A VERY
KNOWN CAPTAIN, CAP'N CRUNCH.
SEAN GOT THE SCOOP, TWO SCOOPS,
IF YOU WILL AND POURED OUT THE
DETAILS ON "NEW DAY".
>> CAP'N CRUNCH BEAT, UNCOVERING
THE TRUTH ABOUT CAP'N CRUNCH.
LOOK AT THE CAPTAIN HERE.
DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING WRONG?
VERY, VERY WRONG.
>> MISSING A FINGER.
>> LET'S DO A CLOSE UP HERE.
ACCORDING TO U.S. NAVY, THREE
STRAPS INDICATE THE RANKING OF A
COMMANDER WHICH CAPTAIN CRUTCH
HAS, THAT'S LOWER THAN A
CAPTAIN, WHICH YOU SEE ON THE
LEFT THERE.
THAT'S FOUR STRIPES.
CALLING HIMSELF A CAPTAIN AND
HE'S A COMMANDER.
>> COMMANDER CRUNCH DOESN'T HAVE
THE SAME RING.
>> NEXT THING YOU'LL TELL ME
COUNT DRACULA ISN'T A REAL
COUNT, CHEER OWES AREN'T CHEER
OWES.
THE SCANDAL DOESN'T END HERE
BECAUSE CAP'N CRUNCH HAS
RESPONDED.
HE CALLED A PRESS CONFERENCE.
♪
♪
>> I STAND BEFORE YOU TODAY TO
ANSWER THE RIDICULOUS
ACQUISITIONS LEVELLED AGAINST ME
BY CO-HOST RIVALS THAT I CAP'N
CRUNCH ARE NOT A REAL CAPTAIN.
YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED A FEW OTHER
THINGS ABOUT ME.
I HAVE FOUR FINGERS.
MY FIRST MATE IS A DOG.
MY EYEBROWS ARE ATTACHED TO MY
HAT FOR CRUNCH SAKE.
>> I COME TO THINK THAT I NEVER
NOTICED HIS EYEBROWS ARE ON HIS
HAT, WHICH IS TROUBLING BUT HE
SIDESTEPPED THE QUESTION AND
JOHN WAS CERTAINLY IMPRESSED.
>> FIRST, LET ME PROFESS MY
SATISFACTION WE WERE ABLE TO
HELP SHINE THE LIGHT ON THIS.
>> ARE YOU KIDDING, JOHN?
>> A RESPONSE FROM CAP'N CRUNCH
BUT LET ME SAY HOW IMPRESSED I
AM ABOUT HIS ABILITY TO INFLICT
THE DECEFLECTION.
LANCE ARMSTRONG, THE IRS, HOW TO
HANDLE IT.
>> THERE IS A BREAKFAST MAFIA,
TONY THE TIGER, TELL ME THOSE