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...I'm like, hey Spotify, these aren't the top 100 songs on my list, ok?
I know! I swear to God, if I hear Timber one more time, I'm gonna blow my *** brains
out.
Maybe you should.
What the *** are you doing here?
Oh just enjoying a nice cup of coffee. You know, like everybody else here at this place
that everyone knows about!
I don't what you're trying to pull, but Scooter's Coffee is our spot.
Oh Brittnay, don't you remember somebody saying something about not respecting boundaries
and how the idea of groups owning spots was antiquated and I'm sorry, what was the word
for it?
*** you!
Close enough.
Um, excuse me, you're in her seat.
Oh sorry, we were just downloading the latest MLP episode.
Yeah um, we'll be done in, um, 13 days!
Downloading? On a community wi-fi signal? Did you not read the chalkboard? No wonder
Downloading? On a community wi-fi signal? Did you not read the chalkboard? No wonder
why the wi-fi's so jammed up in here!
So it looks like your spot is now everyone's spot! You guys just seem to be following the
pack, huh?
Yeah, so why don't you stick around, as long as you don't mind being a follower.
Hey we're not *** followers, ok?
Ok, whatever you say. Hey Rex, is my skinny vanilla latte almost ready?
Rex, you *** sellout!
Come on Jenna, we don't have to take this. Let's go somewhere a little less mainstream.
Girls, we're leaving!
Yeah, we'll catch up with you in a minute, JD! I'm trying to get my Google Plus to load
over here! Takin' *** three hours, man.
Yeah, and I'm still waiting for my drink from *** Rex!
*** you, Rex.
Oh hey Justin.
Hey babe.
Ugh, you are not gonna believe the *** we just had to deal with at the coffee shop-
Babe, I can't really talk. The store's really busy right now.
Busy with what?
Jenna!
Oh *** me!
What a crazy coincidence running into you here! Brittnay, isn't this a crazy coincidence?
*** you.
What the *** do you think you're doing here? How'd you even get here before us?
Brittnay drives really fast. And you know, we just were here shopping. Justin's been
really helpful.
Hey Justin, how much is this?
A dollar.
What about this?
Um, a dollar.
And this?
Also a dollar.
Ok, well I guess I'll just take all the clothes in the entire store then.
Wow, it sounds like Shay's gonna have a bunch of extra clothes to give away. Brittnay, why
don't you just post it on Facebook and let everybody know they can come pick up some
cool free stuff?
Please don't do that.
Oh don't worry Jenna, you can stick around. After all, you followed us here already, you
little follower you.
I'm not a *** follower! How do you keep knowing where we're going to go?
Jenna Dapananian keeps tagging her location on all her pictures on Instagram. It made
things kinda easy.
Huh? What are we talking about?
Well played, Mackenzie. We're leaving. And we're going somewhere that we've never been
before. So good luck beating us there. Come on Jenna.
Ok just one more. Hashtag nailed it! Hashtag booyah! Hashtag duh! Hashtag whatever!
Hashtag blessed!
Oh Than, thank God you made it.
Yeah well, it sounded like it was important. But I can't stay long. I gotta go back to
the football team meeting with the guys. I got some real big Homelanding to do. Why'd
you need me here anyway?
I'll explain everything later, but I just needed somebody from our group to get here
before anyone else did.
Yeah, I mean, I got kind of lost at first, but then I just called Brittnay, she's really
great with directions, and she told me right where to go!
Following the leader, the leader, the leader.
Oh hey Jenna, we were just hanging out here in the abandoned alley, how nice of you to
join us.
Yeah, it's really great for rat-watching!
Ooh, hey, there's one!
Yeah!
Ah, no, wait, that's a dead rat. No wait, that's a dead cat! Ooh, a rat just came out
of that dead cat! That counts for two!
Get used to this Jenna, wherever you go, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you. We are going
to ruin your life, isn't that right Brittnay?
*** you.
Um, Jenna, maybe we should back off a little bit. They seem pretty upset.
Well good. Then I guess we're all even, because now I'm upset, and I think it's time they
learn who they're messing with.
Ooh look at this rat- no, it's a possum! It's a possum! Possum!
Possum! Possum! He's bitey, he's bitey!
Alright Than, be cool. Be cool. You're just gonna do some Homelanding. No big deal. Just
be Brody. Yeah, you're just Brody and you're on Homeland.
This week on Homeland...
Holy ***, did I just transport myself into Homeland?
Uh, hey Than, you alright over there buddy?
What? Oh, yeah, huh. I was just um-
Monologuing to yourself? Yeah that happens sometimes.
Oh you guys are watching Homeland?
Well, I was.
Hey Blaine, c'mon it's six o'clock. Our show's about to start.
Oh, right, right. Sorry, my apologies.
We're JC Harmon High Cheer and you're watching Eye on Kansas High School Sports! Whoo!
Hey nice moves by the gals out at JC Harmon High! Thanks for the warm reception ladies!
I'm Clint Tarpley, and you're watching another exciting edition of Eye on Kansas High School
Sports! Onto our top story! State playoffs are beginning this week, and with all eyes
squarely on the top two seeds. The undefeated Grizzlies from Overland Park!
Whoo! Yeah! Alright! There we go!
And of course the heavy favorites, two time defending state champions, the Vikings from
Shawnee Mission West who have just been dominating all season thanks to their 6 foot 5, 230 pound
running back, Oisin McGrann.
Whoa, that guy looks like my dad!
Oh man, yeah, yeah, I heard about this guy. He's been held back for like five years straight.
He's like twenty-two.
I've heard they call him the Bone-Breaker.
Oh yeah, why's that?
Uh, duh, because he breaks people's bones.
Oh, ok, yeah, I don't how I missed that. I don't know, I just, guess I thought it'd be
more clever than that. Hey, wait a minute, how come I don't get a cool nickname? Everyone
just calls me Than.
Than is a *** nickname!
Oh right, right, that's right. Oh, classic, I forgot.
Joining us via satellite this week, we have the man himself, all-state running back, Oisin
McGrann. Oisin, thanks for joining us!
It's no problem, we've just got to hurry this up. I've got to pick up my kids from school.
Of course, Oisin. Now look, this year, you've broken every conceivable rushing record in
the history of Kansas football-
Yeah, so?
That is pretty impressive, don't you think?
Yeah, I guess.
You've also put twenty-seven different players in the hospital this season, ending the careers
of of nineteen of them in the process. One boy is still in a coma. Would you like to
comment on that at all?
When you cross the path of Oisin McGrann, bad things happen. To all you good-for-nothins
down at Overland Park, I suggest you get affairs in order. 'Cause Oisin's comin' for ya.
Man, *** this guy.
Yeah, *** this ***! He can go straight to hell, for all I care! Send him straight
there, the devil and everybody.
Alright, alright, hold on now. He's just engaging in some friendly trash-talk. It's all a part
of the game.
If you think I'm scared of a couple of nancy-boys, and a robo-girl, and a guy with no clackers
or a flute, you're sorely mistaken.
Oh no you did not just talk about my clackers, ***! This son of a *** has crossed
a line now, ya'll.
Like it or not, you'll all fall at the feet of Oisin McGrann.
Well, alright, any final words for your potential opponents from Overland Park?
Yeah suck my ***!
Ask and you shall receive.
Alright, well strong words from the reigning Kansas state player of the year. Good night
everybody!
Alright, alright, turn that *** off. Somebody change the channel.
Next on Cafeteria Rescue...
Alright, yeah!
I like that show!
I tell you what guys, I am going to make it my personal mission to *** that guy up.
We need you to stay on the football team and make sure that you lose State.
Or not, maybe not, I don't know, he's a really big guy, may kick my *** actually. Might totally
lose.
I'd say a job well done today, girls.
WHAT THE ***?!
No, Brittnay, we shouldn't light their cars on fire. That would be too extreme. That would
be crazy!
Look, Brittnay, come on. Who would have predicted- I mean, who would do something like this?
I would! I begged you to do this! But nooooo, Brittnay! We had to spend the day on a hipster
*** scavenger hunt!
Oh my god Brittnay! What happened to your car?
That's it!
You know, I'm just gonna say this, nobody ever blew up a car in The Breakfast Club.
Or in Mean Girls.