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''Every man can play one role perfectly: himself...'' Vittorio De Sica
A film shouldn't be made just for the sake of it.
lt should tell the truth.
Their films aren't films! There's no nutritional value.
Just water, sugar, food dyes... Mine isn't like that!
Mine has cream in it, milk in it, and salep in it.
The film should explain that so people find out.
The film should explain that so people find out.
My job is to tell people the truth, not spin yarns.
This business isn't about TV channels, newspapers, MPs, naked girls...
lt's not about getting them behind you so you can sell to the people.
Let's hold a contest if you're that sure of your flavour!
You don't have to get so worked up. Calm down. Try to act cute.
Oh honey, why are you so steamed up? Of course yours is the tastiest of all.
-Yours has a flavour to die for.-l've never had anything nicer.
-l've never had anything nicer.
This is your TV spot we're shooting.
You'll smash all your sales records when that ad starts airing.
You won't be able to churn out the stuff fast enough. Music!
My ice cream is creamy...
Made by expert hands...
God bless my ice cream!
Oh God!
Wait! Stay away!
My livelihood!
My livelihood!
Ah, God! The one and only God!
What's going on? What's wrong with you?
l had such a bad dream!
They were trying to stop my TV ad, to put me out of business.
Models, bulls, cows, trucks... They were all bearing down on me.
But l wasn't taken in by those women. l didn't fall into their trap.
They wanted to make a womaniser of me.
And of course you turned a blind eye. So what's this then? Like a skyscraper!
God damn you! What's happened to you?
Shame on you!
Don't you go shaming us now, son.
Mum! You always say the same thing. Just like a broken record...
lt's my job to tell you. You never know what will happen next.
And you come straight home to string tobacco leaves.
lf you're not going to make a career at least be a farmhand.
-Leave my bike! -OK! l'll just ride it to the mosque.
lt's my bike. Are you paying for it?
Leave your brother's bike alone! He works to pay for it himself.
You could have a bike too if you got a job!
Who says he's paying? Dad paid for half of it!
Shut that mouth! Wait till l get my hands on you.
You fail five subjects at school, walk out of three apprentice jobs...
And you're asking for a bike!
Come straight home from the mosque or l'll break your legs!
God provides for everyone. You do crazy things.
Why can't you get on with your own business?
As if buying the bike at this age wasn't enough...
Now you're all hung up on this ad.
You can't get anywhere these days without advertising.
Just wait and see. l'll sell tons of ice cream today.
ln two weeks l'll pay off the bank loan and clear all the other debts.
Anyone who sees the TV ad will run to buy my ice cream.
lf you've become a star, the women will be after you.
You can wrestle with women to your heart's content.
Let's wrestle then. lt's been six years! Have a heart.
Don't touch me, you mad devil! You should be praying, not ***.
Go and do it with those models.
You'll be unclean now as well. Go and do your ablutions.
Who's unclean? Who needs ablutions? What do l want with the devil's girls?
l'm hardly in a condition for that.
Motorbike payments, TV ads.. He's crazy!
Where's an ad on local TV going to get him?
-He's just wasting money. -That's men for you.
They only know how
Grandpa, are you going to be on TV again?
Yes. TV ads run more than just once. lt'll be on every day this week.
And you'll be paying every time. lt's such a waste of money, Dad.
Who ever heard of an ad only being shown once? You know those ice lolly companies?
They advertise 12 months a year. They don't spend money on ice cream.
They spend it on advertising.
How can you compete with companies that advertise 12 months a year, dad?
Some people know me, some don't. My ad will remind anyone who doesn't.
He'd wash his bike all day long given half a chance. Mad devil!
What's all this snapping about, you two? Mother and daughter ganging up on me!
Grandpa! You said you were going to take us for a ride.
l have a very busy today. l'll take you the day after tomorrow.
You always say that.
Take the kids. lt's not going to wear out the bike out, is it?
lt's our livelihood. lt's not a toy!
For heaven's sake! As if he had some flash motorbike...
Quick! Have your breakfast first.
Who has time to waste with breakfast?
l need to get to the shop early and finish making the back-up supplies.
l'll be selling loads today!
ln the name of the most merciful Allah...
He is the Lord of the universe. He is merciful, he is compassionate.
He is the Lord and Sultan of the day ofjudgement.
Amen.
Well done, Kamil. Now go and open the shop. Go on.
Your turn Kerim. Let me hear you now.
lt's been six weeks and you're still on the beginners' prayer.
Take a leaf out of your brother's book. You little brute.
Quiet! What's so funny? You noisy lot.
As if you could do a betterjob...
lt's the pot calling the kettle black.
Hodja, they splash us with water from the fountain.
As well as not learning the prayer, failing your school,
you do evil things in the mosque. lf you haven't learned that prayer by tomorrow...
l'll tell your father and your teacher.
ln fact, don't come tomorrow without learning it.
You drive a man to sin!
For goodness sake! We've run out of rice and butter.
Buy a kilo each and a two-litre bottle of cola.
Watch those pennies now. lt's not you paying for the bike.
Why should l pay? lt's not me who rides it.
Dad, you should have thought about household expenses...
Before paying Zeybek TV 500 lira.
You think l paid that 500 lira for fun? l made an ad.
You'd go bust without advertising in this day and age.
People sell old women as young girls thanks to advertising.
Don't you see those ice lolly companies?
They have all of Turkey believing water,
sugar and food dye is ice cream.
-Grandpa, buy us ice lolly! -lce lolly! lce lolly!
Shut up, you daughters of a drunkard! What ice cream do you think you want?
The shop's full of ice cream!
Don't bring up their father like that. You'll traumatise them.
You should have thought of that when you ran off with that bum.
l told you a million times he wouldn't make a husband.
So what happened? You came back. And he ran off!
l can barely make ends meet as it is. But now l have you three to...
Shame on you!
Now, look here!
You never do what anyone asks. Me, your daughter, the grandchildren...
What kind of a man do you call yourself?
That kind of man!
Do you do what l ask? Enough, woman! You'll drive me to suicide!
Believe me... A bit of insanity can solve everything!
Mother and daughter at it together nag nag nag all morning!
Go and lose your mind then! lt'll be a relief for us all!Shut the door, Zeynep.
OK, now how many stages to the ablution of the whole body?
Three!
First, what do we do three times with water in our mouths?
Gargle... Good.
Second? We flush our noses thoroughly with water three times.
And third? We wash ourselves clean from top to toe.
Remember... Cleanliness is next to godliness.
Now, when do we perform the ablution of the whole body?
After having a wet dream!
Quiet, you little brat! You can't learn a prayer in a month
but you know all about these things!
Now then, what happens when you're unclean?
You're no longer blessed. You can't worship. You're impure!
Well now, in what situations do you become unclean?
-When? -l don't know...
Now, when boys enter puberty, they dream of evil girls.
And because of the evil girls they wake up with wet underpants.
When girls enter puberty, they get their periods.
And what do we do in situations like these?
We perform the ablution of the whole body. And after intercourse as well...
What does intercourse mean, Hodja?
lntercourse means...
lntercourse is when a man and a woman...When they become one.
One unit, one body.
You mean a type of assembly?
Be quiet! Shut up!
Where do you get this rubbish from?
Where's the joke? For goodness sake!
You useless bunch!
OK, that's it for today. Off you go now. Go on!
Be here tomorrow at the same time.
lce cream!Mendo ice cream!
Can you give us two 2 lira cones?
Enjoy them.
l saw our teacher yesterday.
-Give us a free ice cream. -No.
-Go on. What's the big deal? -l said no. My boss would be angry.
How would he find out? lt's not like ice lollies.
You've just come out the mosque. God will see you sinning.
Then give it to me on credit. l'll pay tomorrow.
See what it says there?
'Don't ask for credit.
Just give us a bit in those cones. What kind of brother are you?
Come back tomorrow when you have money.
Fine then. Damn your ice cream! l'll teach you.
Stand up for yourself like you stand up for your ice cream.
My bicycle! My bike!
What's going on?
Some brother, huh! Refusing to give us ice cream.
l'll teach him a lesson at home tonight.
What's up? What's going on?
His brother took his bike.
And l thought something big had happened. This is a bike, isn't it?
Here, let's go. You'll get it back tonight anyway.
He rides like a maniac. He'll ruin it. The other day he bent the mud guard.
Get the jar out of there, will you? Today's the big day.
Whoever saw the ad will come running.
l'll pay off my motorbike and your bike before the week's out.
We'll sell this one if you like and get you a racing bike.
Oh God, just look!
These are so sweet!
You little punks!
l'll break your legs!
Run, guys! Run! He's coming! Run!
-Boss, the pies. Don't let them get cold. -Thanks, kid.
-Tea! Fresh tea!
Oh wow! What a great-looking pie!
Hey, hands off!
The grief you put me through!
Look at you, an advertising star. And you can't even spare a bite of pie!
Think you'll get paid for the tea now?
l get nothing to eat because of you. Freeloader!
Stingy ***!
-Hello there. -Hello, Hodja.
What's wrong, Ali?
That bum nicked a piece of my pie.
Maybe he really wanted some.
lt has to be my pie, does it? Why doesn't he buy his own?
Sometimes people can only see what's in front them.
That's why there's a thing called 'the right of the eye' in our religion.
Let's say you're making ice cream here in front of everyone's eyes.
A poor child walks past, sees it and wants some. What do you then?
You have to give him some. That's what our religion requires.
What's more, if you don't give him any and he then goes and steals some...
Then the sin is yours. You're to blame not him.
l don't mind giving him the money so long as he doesn't nick any pie.
l buy as much as l can eat, Hodja.
Whatever l eat, he always has his eyes on it.
He's always thinking how he can wangle something out of me.
Whatever.Let's have 250 grams of the melon.
Throw us some more!
Damn it!
l missed the Leman magazine prize for worst school report of the year.
The art teacher passed me. Same with the music and gym teachers.
Everyone failed me except them. Why did they have to go and pass me?
What's wrong with those ice lollies then?
They're just water, sugar and food dye. That's what!
Go on, laugh then! l'm telling you the truth.
Don't think you're getting milk. They only use milk powder.
There's no salep either.
l've worked out their trick.
They don't waste money on ice cream. They spend it all on advertising.
What do kids know? They believe anything.
They get their mums and dads to buy the stuff whatever.
l've started advertising too. What l can afford...
At least they won't be able to sell where Zeybek TV does its shooting.
They'll be showing my ad every night this week.
You think your ad can compete with theirs?
They spend a fortune on advertising!
So did l. lt cost me over 500 lira.
You get 50 lira for a 3-hour wedding. My two-minute ad cost me 500 lira.
That's not all. l pay another 50 lira every time it runs.
How can you compete with international imperialism?
How many times do l have to tell you? You can't beat the monopolies!
l don't know about monopolies, duopolies and all that!
We'll see who's stronger today! l was apprentice to the best master.
You think you know everything. ln fact, you know nothing!
Never mind the ice cream man and monopolies.
What's this freedom business about? How can everyone be free?
Look, it's all there in the name. Freedom and Solidarity Party.
lt's not freedom if only you and me are free.
lf you advocate freedom for all, then you're a true socialist.
OK. l'm with you.
Workers, labourers, minorities, Kurds...
Homosexuals. OK, even them...
But those Caretta Carettas... They're turtles, aren't they?
-Yes. -You see, that's a problem.
The beasts eat the beans in my field. So why should l give them freedom?
Look, we're talking something symbolic here.
A symbol of animal rights and natural harmony.
Let them eat my beans, huh? They can find food in the mountains!
lt's my rights being abused here!
How can a turtle be aware of the concepts of labour or possessions?
l'm talking about the Caretta Caretta, the endangered species.
The ones that only lay their eggs in Dalyan. You know?
What have they got to do with your field?
-Well, he'd eat the samphire then. -God damn your beans and samphire!
Why are you getting angry?
You do a guy's head in with your crap! Beans, beans, beans...
What beans? ls there nothing better to think about?
lf anyone asks about the money, say l'll pay it off within the week.
OK boss.
-Have a good day, everyone! -Goodbye!
-Hello there, Hadji! -Hello, Ali.
Hadji, l made this ad for TV this week. lt cost me an arm and a leg.
l hope l'll be able to pay off the bike within the week.
Whatever. Never mind. Actually l'm a bit hard up right now.
Otherwise it wouldn't be a problem. Come and have some tea.
Sorry, Hadji. l can't. Today's a big day.
l'll be reaping the benefits of the TV ad today.
l hope so! Have a good day. Goodbye!
What TV ad is he talking about?
Zeybek TV. The local Mugla channel. He's mad.
Hello!
Wait, there's a customer. l'll call you back later.
Hello.
-Hey, Melih! -Hi.
-Finished university yet? -No. Next year hopefully.
lt goes on forever. Who remembers when you even started?
l switched courses though. This is the second one.
Shall l fill her up?
-Put in 15 lira's worth. -Give me a 3 lira cone then.
-So you leftjudges' school, huh Melih?- Right. This is my second course.
-What will you be when you finish? -A director.
-What kind of director? -Primary school orjunior high?
No. A director. A film director.
That's great. You'll earn lots of money.
l'll come over every night. Bring the grandchildren with me.
We'll sell ice cream during the intermission.
Like the old days and those open-air cinemas!
l raked in it back then and never missed a film.
Who was there? Ayhan lsik, Cüneyt Arkin, Filiz Akin...
And l'd never miss a Yilmaz Güney film, that's for sure.
He never smiled a lot but he made such smart, moving films.
You'll get films like that along, won't you?
You're talking about running a cinema. My thing's different.
How do you mean? Give an example.
You know those films and series on TV? lt's directing things like that.
Are you serious? What kind of wages do they pay?
You don't get paid wages, Ali. You bargain for whatever you can get.
Do you have to do service in the East?
-No, there's nothing like that. -OK, but what do you do then?
You tell the actors what to do, decide on the set, the camera angles...
So you do the shooting then?
No, that's the cameraman's job. We explain what to shoot and how.
So you're like some kind of manager?
Yes, exactly! Like the actors' manager.
-Do you tell the actors what to do? -Yes.
So you'd tell Sibel Can or Hülya Avsar what to do?
Yes.
You mean they'd do whatever you told them to do?
lf you said to take off their clothes, would they do that?
Sure.
-Their bras? -Yes.
Their ***?
Absolutely,if that's what the script called for.
-Really? -Really!
Turkey's got over all that. You can do anything in the name of art.
Great. What a greatjob! Better than being a doctor or engineer.
So what if they don't pay a lot?
Give one of those *** a squeeze and that's worth billions!
Nasip ice cream... Get the flavour, taste the cream!
Tingoz, here. lt's yours.
What do l want with it? l'm stuffed with melon and watermelon...
Talking of melon, l wish we had a tub of melon ice cream.
And a tub of chocolate and lemon.
Only one tub? One tub! l'd eat ten of them!
Nasip ice cream... Get the flavour, taste the cream!
Nasip ice cream... Get the flavour, taste the cream!
-Hello! -Hello? Good business?
Thanks, yes.
-Give us three 2 lira cones. -OK.
ls that all you get for 2 lira? Come on, put some more on.
What does 2 lira buy today? Even a bottle of pop costs 5 lira.
Nasip ice cream... Get the flavour, taste the cream!
Give me more of the yellow one. lt's ice cream, isn't it?
Do you have any idea how much a kilo of milk, sugar or salep costs?
l bring the ice cream to your door. You think this bike runs on water?
Have a good day's business!
You're my first sale of the day. So let's hope for blessings from God!
Creamy ice cream!
-Hello, everyone! -Hello!
Here's 5 lira. Make that two cones for the kids.
-That's one for me. -And one for me.
-Aren't you getting any, Auntie Ayse? -No. lt doesn't agree with me.
There you go.
Here. There you go.
Let's say we'll pay tonight when we get the money off Dad.
He'll give it to you, if you ask. lsn't he your brother's boss?
My brother wouldn't even give me any so why would his boss?
l expect he knows l stole Kamil's bicycle too.
Here.
-Have a good day's business! -Thanks. Goodbye then!
You see how advertising works? l knew it all along.
You shouldn'tjust write it off.
Creamy ice cream!
Creamy ice cream!
lce cream man!
lce cream man!
-Have you got any ice cream? -Yes!
How much?
Depends how much you want. There's cones for 10 lira, 5 lira...
-What kind of milk do you use? -Cow's milk.
-Forget it then. l don't want any! -Why not?
Real ice cream is made with goat's milk.
Give me your money instead of advice! Are you playing games with me?
-Why would l play games with you? -You're the one playing games.
You say it's real ice cream, but you use cow's milk.
Herding two goats makes you a professor, does it? Are you buying or not?
l would if you had real ice cream. But yours is made of cow's milk!
Herding goats the whole time has turned you into an obstinate goat.
l can't be dealing with you! You go your way, l'll go mine.
God give me patience. How come the weirdoes always find me?
Creamy ice cream!
How much is your ice cream?
Depends how much you want. There are cones for 5 or 10 lira.
Give me one for 1 lira.
Auntie, what does 1 lira buy you in this day and age?
-Well it's money, isn't it? -Auntie, the empty cone costs 1 lira!
Don't be such a pillock!
Come on, don't you know how expensive everything is?
l don't know anything! l'm ignorant!
F... the ice cream when it's this hot! Come on, let's go.
OK. Stop moaning.
Ooph! lt's always me that has to ask. OK. l'll ask then.
-Here, your ice cream. -Your money. Hey, what's this?
lt's the size of a bird dropping! Put some more on there!
l don't get this ice cream out of the tap, you know.
l don't care where you get it! Put some more on.
Do you know how much a kilo of milk, salep, sugar or vanilla costs?
No! l don't know! l'm ignorant.
You think this bike runs on water or petrol?
Whatever. l don't care. Use the bike, use a donkey. Whatever.
Auntie, make up your mind. And stop messing me around.
Have your ice cream. l don't want it. Give my money back.
l had my wedding dress made for 1 lira. You shameless miser!
F... off, you pillock! F... off!
Get out of my sight! ***! Miser! Shameless idiot!
Unclean pi.p!
Good. Then spend another 1 lira on your next wedding dress!
And get somewhere else stitched up
l hope you never see prosperity!
Shameless, unclean man! God damn you!
Creamy ice cream!
Creamy ice cream!
Nasip ice cream... Get the flavour, taste the cream!
Where's everyone gone? Don't say that hag's curse is working!
The ice cream man is here! lce cream! lce cream!
Go and get that big pan from inside. We could all do with cooling down.
What do you want with ice cream? We only just had watermelon.
Get 30 lira's worth. There's lots of us. So tell him to give us lots.
-Give us 30 lira's worth. -30 lira? All right.
Mum said you should give us lots because there's lots of us.
Well...
lf you pay a lot, of course you get lots of ice cream.
Some people want lots for 2 lira as if that's big money.
They wouldn't say no if you give them the whole tub.
Wait! You might spill it or something. Let me carry it.
OK, let's go. And fetch me some cold water, huh?
lnside with you all. Go on, quick.
-Hello there. -Hello! Welcome.
-l brought your ice cream over.
l certainly did.
l'm so thirsty from the heat. Any chance of a glass of water?
Bless you. Can you get me another glass now?
Hey, what's the drummer doing?
lt's a circumcision party. Everyone's there.
We're hurrying to finish this tobacco so we can go too.
A circumcision party? l was wondering why the place was empty.
l'd better get myself over there. l could sell the rest of the ice cream.
l'll go back to the shop for more and sell that too.
lt's very good.
Thanks. lt's delicious.
Allez, vite! Dépêchez-vous!
Not like those ice lollies on TV. lt's cooled me right down.
That's not ice cream! You can't call it ice cream!
lt's just water, sugar and food dye. Now l use real melons and lemon rind.
What do they do? They flavour it with essences.
As if dyes and essences weren't enough they sell the lollies for 5 lira.
lt doesn't even cost them 1 lira. They can't teach us this business.
The health authorities know exactly what they're up to.
But they're hands are tied because these guys have connections.
lf it weren't for advertising they wouldn't sell a thing.
They'd have you believe anything in those ads.
lt fell off.
And our people are like sheep. They believe whatever they see on TV.
They get three naked girls to lick ice cream and fool everyone.
What a chatterbox!
There was this man. What was his name?
Drink your water. You're all out of breath.
He was a writer orjournalist. He said 60°/° of the people are stupid.
There was such an outcry! But forget 60°/°, even 70°/°
l'd say it's more like 95°/°. That's for sure.
My motorbike!
Thieves!
Bandits! Thieves!
Thieves! Bandits!
They've stolen my motorbike!
Stop the thieves! Catch them!
Catch them!
They've stolen my motorbike!
You'll pay for it! Thieving ***!
Catch them!
My motorbike! Have you seen my bike? They ran this way!
Thieving cads! God damn you!
Saadettin! l want to make a complaint!
-Not so fast! What's the problem? -They've stolen my bike!
Who's stolen it? When? Where?
Today, around midday, in Sakarköy. l know who did it! Those Manda guys!
Go for it, boys! Dig in! You won't get a chance like this again.
Finders keepers, losers weepers...
Ali's the loser. He'll never find his ice cream again.
Dig in, boys. Have some more.
Don't waste the chance. lt won't be so easy to find again.
What are you blabbering on about?
What's a large-scale manufacturer going to do with your half-baked bike?
lt's the work of kids.
That's what you think. lt's not my bike they're after.
They're trying to stop me selling ice cream in the villages.
They've got the whole place covered.
And now they've got their eyes on the villages.
They're never satisfied. So what if they're manufacturers?
Ali, they're all over Turkey.
What's it to them if you sell a couple of ice creams in Sakarköy?
lf they open a branch, you're finished. They're not after you.
Of course they are!
l complained to the health authorities about them.
l said they didn't put enough milk or salep in their ice cream.
The manager there was straight with me. He said they knew.
But he said they had connections. MPs and ministers behind them.
He said, ''We can't take them on. Nor can you.''
lt would just get them in trouble, he said.
Stop that crazy talk! They wouldn't steal your bike.
Where's your bike going to go? lt'll turn up in a day or two.
They're already halfway to lzmir while you sit here banging on!
My bike will be in pieces by now.
l'm ruined! Ruined! And the world's just watching.
How am l going to pay off the bike now?
Your ranting is getting on my nerves! l told you it'll turn up.
We can do a report, you sign it and go. And we'll keep you posted.
-Here, have some tea. -l'm not having tea!
Why don't you go after them instead of drinking tea?
Beat them! Bash them! Get them to own up!
Look, there's no evidence, no proof. How can we question them?
Did you see it with your own eyes? Why leave the bike running anyway?
-Airhead! -OK.
OK, so it's me who's guilty now. Lock me up then.
There's a Yilmaz Güney film l watched when l was young.
l didn't get the message at the time. But now l do!
A poor man's horse gets hit by a rich man in a car.
At the police station, they make out the man who's guilty is in the right.
Because he's rich.
So because these Manda guys have MPs and ministers behind them...
You're trying to frame me.
Believe me, a bit of insanity solves everything.
l don't give a toss about MPs or ministers!
What's all this communist talk, huh? Where did you learn that?
-What's Yilmaz Güney got to do with it? -Leave it out!
Forget his communism. Where's his brain?
-His whole family are big-time conservatives. -Sit down, officer.
You pain in the ***! Are you out of your mind?
l can't deal with you in this heat. Now clear off!
Madman!
Your attention please!
Ali the ice cream man has had his motorbike stolen in Sakarköy.
Anyone who sees it is asked to contact the municipality in the name of humanity.
l repeat... Attention please!
-l'm so sorry, Ali. -Thanks.
God bless you.
The bike will turn up. Don't worry.
- Özcan! Find my motorbike! - What motorbike, Ali? Whose bike?
Don't pretend you don't know. Your people stole it.
Enough! Do you know what you're saying?
Yes, l do! l'm not senile yet, thank God!
You all got together to steal my bike, you thieving ***!
-That's it! -Ali! Stop it!
Ali, stop it! You're a grown man!
l'm going to destroy you!
Shame on you!
Now that's what l call ice cream.
Dig in! Eat up!
A bit more for me.
-The sour cherry's yummy too. -lt's all yummy.
Ali, who leaves a bike with the engine running?
What age are you living in? Even the Holy Prophet said...
''First tie the camel, then leave it to God.''
They must have been watching me. They nabbed it so fast.
Did you notice anyone following you on the way?
Muammer,they wouldn't let anyone see them!
l expect they got a tip-off from Özcan and were waiting in the village.
Why would a company as big as that mess around with your bike?
They wouldn't.
l complained to the health authorities. That's the first thing.
Second, l made the TV ad.
So what does that mean?
When they realised they wouldn't be able to sell here...
Ali, how would they know about your ad?
What was l just saying? Özcan would have tipped them off.
Özcan's a local. He wouldn't do that. Besides, didn't you grow up together?
Muammer, you don't know anything. You have your eyes shut.
These guys go round buying ministers and MPs.
So don't you think they'd buy our Özcan?
Özcan wouldn't do a thing like that.
Whatever, we're not arguing about it. l'm sorry it happened.
Just be more careful in future.
Precautions first, then fate.
Come on lads, he's had enough. Let's give him some breathing space.
Come on, let's go.
Ali, trust me. There's no way Özcan is involved.
lf anyone did it, it's those Manda guys in Gökova.
You should be on to them.
l can't eat any more.
Me neither. l need a break and some water.
-We'll carry on later. -Well if you don't, l will.
Mister, where are you from?
Where are you from? Which county?
-He's from Belgium, Auntie.
ln Europe.
Maras! Beaten ice cream! Maras!
Hello there, Remzi.
-How's things? -What brings you here, Ali?
Not good news, friend. My bike's been stolen.
Oh no! When? Where?
-Midday today in Sakarköy. -lt has to be those separatists.
lt's not separatists, Remzi. lt's got to be those Manda people.
That's what l'm saying. They're pawns for the separatists.
They have serious power behind them.
These people that want to divide Turkey they'd steal your bike...
And they'd burn down my shop.
Well, Remzi. l don't know about that.
Look, if you see a yellow bike around let me know, won't you?
You almost count as family.
You sell home-made ice cream, just like l sell home-made ice cream.
Let's stick together and save my bike from the clutches of these Manda people.
-Count on me. Let's have tea. -No thanks.
Good luck then. Maras! Beaten ice cream!
Fresh corn on the cob! Fresh corn!
There you go.
Enjoy it, sir.
Fresh corn!
-Fevzi! How are you doing? -Ali, the king of ice cream!
-What brings you here? -Not good news. A total disaster!
Oh look! Metin's here as well!
Hello, Ali. Welcome!
So you're back selling here after all these years, huh?
Ali, go and ask if you like. But l don't think you'll get anywhere.
Even if the guys did steal it, they're not going to say so, are they?
You're right Metin. But never say die, huh?
l'm at least going to talk to the guys. Just a couple of words. That's all.
lt's up to you, Ali.
Ali, now look. Ask nicely. Don't get yourself into trouble.
-Try and worm stuff out of them. -OK. Don't worry, Fevzi.
-Hello there. -Hello. Can l get you something?
-How's business, friend? Good? -Yes, pretty good.
-What flavour did you want? -Me? l don't. What do you have?
Sour cherry, chocolate, almond, vanilla and melon.
Melon? Real melon or made with food dye? And do they use salep?
Salep? What's that? l don't know how the stuff is made.
l just know the prices.
So why are you selling something you know nothing about?
Are you going to buy any ice cream or not, sir?
l'm an ice cream man myself, sir. l need my motorbike, not ice cream.
Hey, we're in the same business. Have this on the house then.
-But we don't sell motorbikes here. -l wouldn't know about that.
l'm not about to be cheated out of the bike for a cone of ice cream.
We'll find that bike all together.
Now look, friend. l have no bones to pick with you.
l sell my ice cream in the villages and you have your stand here.
My bike isn't any good to you. l don't do you any harm either.
Come on now. Please... Take your ice cream and go home.
l'd rather go to my grave than leave without my bike!
Give me my bike back!
For God's sake! Have you got sunstroke or something?
This isn't an industrial estate here!
Give me my bike back then! Thieving ***!
l'll destroy you all!
Stop! Stop it!
You'll be sorry! You'll see! l'll be back!
See if l don't! A bit of insanity solves everything!
Get a grip, Ali. Come on.
Get lost, freak!
Ali, you can't go around attacking everyone!
-They'll put you in jail for vandalism. -*** them!
-Give me back my bike! -What bike?
Give me back my bike!
May you never have profits!
You unclean ***!
Unclean ***!
You're unclean. Go and do your ablutions!
ln the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful...
May He protect me from evil...
l intend to do my full-body ablutions to please God.
l declare that there is one God.
What's up? lt's stopped all of a sudden.
-lt's probably run out of petrol. -Let's just leave it here then.
No, let's hide it under the bushes or someone will steal it.
OK, let's stick it over there.
We can get some petrol tomorrow and ride around all we want.
Ali, give it a rest with the bike. Have mine if you want.
My legs are crippled but your mind, your heart's crippled.
There's always trouble. But we'll find a way.
lt's only a bike. You're not about to be executed.
Right. There's not a firing squad waiting.
Come on now. Let's get going before it gets dark.
lf it doesn't turn up, it doesn't turn up. *** the bike!
What's going on, boss? Has the bike turned up?
No one's going to find that bike. Come on. Let's shut up shop.
Why didn't you go home? They'll be worried about you.
l didn't want to before you got back. They'll be at your place anyway.
Really?
What a day for us both, Kamil. We arrive on wheels this morning...
And have to go back on foot. Still, your bike will be at home.
But my motorbike will be in pieces by now.
l expect my brother did the same with my bike.
-Boss, here's the takings. -Thanks, kid.
Keep your mouths shut, OK? See you at the mosque tomorrow.
Where do you think you've been?
Didn't l tell you to come straight home after classes? Huh?
Don't hit me! Why are you hitting me?
Do you know what time it is?
Why did you steal your brother's bicycle?
Enough! Stop it! He only stole his brother's bike.
Shut up, you!
You drive me insane!
What's up this time, Ayse?
He's late home again! That's what. l'm fed up with him!
You can't even drive a damn horse!
lt's too much! Our beautiful bike! The grandchildren didn't even get a ride.
We haven't paid if off yet. Don't say it's all right.
How could l have such a dumb husband?
How could it get stolen in broad daylight?
How are we supposed to pay the rest?
He didn't even take me for a ride once the devil.
Don't worry, Ali.
Sorry to hear about the bike, Ali.
Welcome, Ayse. Have you eaten yet?
-We're OK, but Kerim hasn't eaten. -Come on then.
-Where's my bicycle? -l haven't eaten it. lt's at home.
Kamil, turn that TV on. The news is starting.
Good evening, Mugla. This is the news. First the headlines.
The mayor of Mugla has said every street in Mugla will be paved in concrete.
The Ula ice cream seller Ali has had his motorbike stolen.
The tourism season is dead this year. More details after the commercials.
lt'll come on now.
Haven't you tasted real ice cream yet?
Real ice cream means Nasip ice cream.
Oodles of salep, oodles of milk and sugar...Only in Nasip ice cream.
Oodles of salep, oodles of milk and sugar.
Nasip ice cream... Get the flavour, taste the cream!
What an actor!
You'll have to sell the ice cream on the back of a donkey now!
God! How could anyone have such a dumb husband!
Anyone who gets his bike stolen today will get his underpants stolen tomorrow!
That's it! You battle-axe! l'll kill you!
l'll get you! Come here! You battle-axe!
-Don't, Ali! Stop it! -Let go of me! l'm going into town
Stick around here and l'll go insane.
Forget going to town. Go to the madhouse instead!
You've wrecked my life!
Who'd be crazy enough to leave a bike with the engine running?
You've turned this whole thing into a Nasreddin Hodja joke.
One day,a burglar broke into the hodja's house.
When the neighbours heard they lashed out at the hodja...
''Why don't you lock the door? Who keeps gold under the mattress?''
The Hodja listened calmly. And in the end he said...
''Neighbours, doesn't the burglar have any share in the blame?''
So, are you saying the bike thieves have no share in the blame ?
Shame on you all! Show a little understanding.
Ali! Come here! Have a drink. lt'll cheer you up. Forget the bike.
Mehmet, alcohol doesn't agree with me. Really.
You carry on. Count me out.
Ali had his bike stolen. He's a bit down today.
Who do you think? The Manda guys.
l'm sorry Ali. Don't worry, the bike will turn up.
Let's drink tonight. Forget your troubles. Forget all that.
*** the bike Ali. What matters is your health. Let'*** it, master!
Dear God...
Why did you stop playing?
Can't you hear the call to prayer?
So what? You carry on playing and let them call all they want.
Each to his own.
Why can't they show some understanding for a change?
Here we are having a good time. Can't they give it a miss just once?
Besides, it's only a few old guys that go to the mosque.
They could call them to prayer by phone.
Here he goes again on one of his crazy speeches.
You'll make God angry. Then my bike will never be found!
You take God for a lost and found bureau?
lf you're going to believe, do it from the heart, not for profit.
Come on, it's no time for squabbling. Let's have a few more at the tavern.
Come on, let's go. We can play some more there.
Ali, you can't take these monopolies on.
Why are you going on about monopolies? l don't sell alcohol or cigarettes.
My ignorant friend, not that monopoly! l mean cartels, trusts, group companies.
Mustafa, stop this communist rubbish. Don't try putting ideas in my head.
And my head's a muddle as it is so your gibberish just makes it worse.
Let's find ourselves a place and then l'll explain.
lt's not hard to understand. Get your brain into gear. That's all.
Hey guys, we're at the tavern now. Drop the politics.
-So how is ice cream made? -With milk.
-Where does the milk come from? -Cows.
-What do cows eat? -Fodder.
Where does fodder come from?
Mustafa, are you making fun of me?
-Come on. What's the answer? -From the field.
These guys have 1000 cows, a factory, 1000 workers and 1000 acres of fields.
They get their fodder from the fields and their milk from the cows.
They make their ice cream in the factory and sell it through their sales network.
They advertise on their TV channels and do promotions in their newspapers
-Come on, drop the politics. -Don't interrupt.
ln other words, they have thousands of fields, cows, workers, lorries...
And tricks up their sleeves While you have just one trick, one cow,..
one field, one worker and a motorbike.
Really?
These guys sell all around the world.
lf push came to shove, they'd hand out truck-loads of free ice cream.
And still they'd get rid of you!
l had a nightmare about this. They were coming at me with trucks.
What has manufacturing done to tailors? And supermarket to grocers? You see?
The golden rule of capitalism: the big fish swallows the little fish!
They never suggest living all together in the same ocean. Never!
Ali, slow down there.
Does it say all this in communist books?
Hey, come on! No politics in the tavern.
No politics in the tavern, no politics in state buildings...
No politics in trade union halls,in schools. Are we supposed to talk politics in the toilet?
ls politics reserved for the military and business elite?
OK. Calm down! l'm only saying it so he doesn't get worried.
Are we supposed to hide the truth, to ignore the class struggle...
Just so Ali doesn't get worried?
Besides, scientifically speaking, the ice cream business has no future.
Why not?
According to the Kant-Laplace theory, Earth broke away from the sun...
..billions of years ago.lt went through 4 geological ages as it cooled.
And only then did life start appearing. The cooling process is still ongoing.
ln other words, global cooling.
That's why winter didn't end till mid-June this year!
But l'm talking about a process involving millions of years.
With my luck, it'll find me even if it's a chance in a million.
Mustafa, if it takes a million years, why are we worrying about it now?
No politics, no science! Can't l talk about anything?
Am l supposed to ask you what to talk about?
Get off me! lt wasn't even this bad in prison!
OK. Come back! Sit down! Don't you know how angry he gets?
*** cooling, warming, monopolies and all the rest!
Koral! Go for it! Let's hear you!
lf the earth cools, it cools. lt can snow all year if it wants.
Why should l worry? Let those Mendo *** worry.
-Quiet! You'll wake the neighbours. -lt's all about big capital, huh?
Just you watch me stick dynamite under their *** factories...
And douse them in petrol...
Monopolies, huh? Monopolies... l'll show them monopolies.
l'll trash their freezer cabinets with a sledge hammer tomorrow.
Ali, you'll wake up your wife. Give me that glass.
Don't touch my glass! Let her wake up, the whining broad.
l'll drink Folidol and kill myself. And l'll kill her too.
l'll strangle her!
ln the name of God...
God forgive me.
*** cooling and warming! *** the motorbike and Manda...
Why am l killing myself for that ***?
Hey, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?
l'm going to kill myself! And be rid of the lot of you!
Help! Neighbours, help me! My husband's losing it! Help!
Let go of it! Let go! Help! Neighbours help!
Help, neighbours! Help! My husband's losing it!
How can you leave us all? What will happen to us?
Shame on you! l'll kill you!
What's going on?
l caught him in the barn. He was killing himself with Folidol.
l'm going to kill myself!
l swear l'm going to kill myself!
What's going on? Keep quiet! What is it?
He was drinking Folidol. l caught him killing himself!
Go easy on the man if he was trying to kill himself!
You take care of Canfeda. l'll take Ali off and calm him down.
Ali, don't you have any sense in that head of yours?
How can you think of killing yourself and leaving your loved ones behind?
What can l do, Arif Dayi? l have a pile of debts to pay.
And even if l found my motorbike... Where am l going to sell ice cream
when the weather gets really cold? l lost my mind.
Oh, come on! What do you mean?
Let the weather cool down. Everything balances out in the end.
What am l going to do at this age? lt's easy to say let it cool down.
There's me and my wife at home, then the widowed daughter...
And two grandchildren with no father. What are they going to live on?
God provides for everyone.
Then you can sell hot things instead.
For example...You could get into the salep business.
Really? l saw a man in Mugla.
He'd filled a copper kettle with salep. He was making a fortune!
Bravo, Arif Dayi! Why didn't l think of it before?
Neighbours, help! My son's dying!
-What's up, neighbour? -My son's really ill!
So is mine. His throat's all swollen and he's sweating like a pig.
Let's call a taxi and get them to the doctor.
Every problem has its cure. First the problem, then the cure.
You must think with a clear head.
What if there's no solution? ls it worth killing yourself for?
Your life is not your own anyway. Your life isn'tjust yours anyway.
God only lends us these bodies. That body isn't yours to mistreat.
God gives life. And God takes it away.
Never mind God, what about the mother who raised you?
And the wife who cooks for you, the friend who buys you a tea?
Even the man who made this shirt has a claim on you.
Have you lived on air till now? Have you never eaten? Or drunk water?
Those mountains, the forests, the air... They have claims on you too.
How can you give up eggplant salad, green beans in olive oil...
Pears and grapes and decide you want to die?
You don't think of that at the time. The world goes dark around you.
Don't let it! Death will come anyway. You can't escape it.
What's the hurry?
The world's a window. When it's our turn we all get to look out.
Leave the definite and go after the probable.
Death is a certainty, whereas life is only a possibility.
How do you know what will happen next?
l was just like you once. l decided to end my life.
-What a good thing l didn't. -When was that?
l was 18 or 19. l fell in love with Dürüye.
l lost my mind. l couldn't eat, couldn't drink, couldn't go out...
All l cared about was Dürüye. Trouble was, she felt nothing for me.
The more she ignored me, the more l longed for her.
Then l had to go and do military service.
lnstead of counting the days, my mind was on Dürüye.
Back in those days, military service lasted four years.
Then one day, l got a letter. Dürüye was to marry Hulusi.
l lost my mind! l ran away from the army to kidnap Dürüye.
l started hanging round her home, but l never saw a glimpse of Dürüye.
Then the day of the wedding came.
l drank a lot, stuffed a gun in my belt...
...and went off to the wedding hall.
l put in a request for a Zeybek song and danced the Zeybek.
My eyes never left Dürüye. lf she so much as looked my way...
l'd run off with her. But she didn't even notice me.
That's what hurt most of all. The world went dark around me.
l got back home. l put the pistol to my head.
l was just about to pull the trigger when l heard this divine-like voice.
''You idiot, Arif! What are you doing? ls it really worth it?
''ls it worth killing yourself for a girl who doesn't love you?
''Will she be as pretty years from now? Throw the gun away!''
l don't know how, but somehow l threw away that gun.
Years have passed. l've got older. So has she.
She's had dozens of children and grandchildren.
Her face is a sea of wrinkles, her *** sag to the ground.
But she's still beautiful.
Anyway it wasn't the real Dürüye l was in love with.
lt was the Dürüye in my heart. The beautiful Dürüye is in here.
l feel so lucky that l didn't kill myself.
Maybe l should get into the cotton candy business.
lt sells all through the year. Not like ice cream.
Hurry! Step on it!
Faster!
Cafer, what's going on?
The boy's sick. We're taking him to the doctor.
-Who? Kamil? -No, the elder boy.
What's wrong with him?
l don't know. He keeps throwing up. He's got a fever too.
That's weird in the middle of summer.
-What about Kamil? -He's all right. He's asleep.
What is it, Ali?
-Nothing. l got the shivers all of a sudden. -lt's getting chilly, come on.
My son's dying!
Doctor lsmail! My son's dying!
Dear God. lt's prayer time already.
Go home now. They'll be worried. l'll drop by for coffee after prayers.
l think l'll come with you. Though it is years since l last prayed.
l've forgotten how the prayers go, what you have to do.
Don't worry. Just watch me. That's acceptable too.
Say 'aaah'!
How odd! l've seen other boys tonight with identical symptoms.
All these swollen tonsils on a summer's day. lt's so odd.
l hope it's not some epidemic. God forbid!
Sore throats, vomiting, diarrhea...
They're all cold symptoms.
Are you sure you gave them nothing extra cold to eat?
All we had was green beans.
-And we had okra. -Our boy had black-eyed beans.
What did they have for lunch?
My bike, my bike, my bike...
Help me find my motorbike, Lord!
They've definitely had something extra cold without you knowing.
Now come on, boys. Tell me. What did you eat?
Come on, my patience is running out. l'll give you an injection!
Own up now. Or l'll stick this in you. l'll circumcise you! What was it?
lce cream.
Never lose hope as long as you live. Pray a lot.
l did pray a lot.
Don't let everything worry you so much.
Thanks, Arif Dayi. You've made me feel a lot better.
Hello? Yes?
Saadettin Bey, sorry to bother you. Could you come over to my clinic?
-Something wrong, doctor? -Nothing important. A small matter.
-Welcome back, Ali dear! -Welcome, Dad.
Breakfast is ready. Come on, sweetie. You didn't eat a thing last night.
l'll just go and heat up the tea. Dear sweet Dad...
You do that. Dear sweet husband...
What's wrong with you both? Did a flowerpot fall on your head?
You want me to take you to hospital?
No need to take them to hospital. They'll be fine in a day or two.
How could you eat stolen property? How could you do it?
What are we supposed to tell your brother's boss now?
How are we going to face him? Huh?
Hey, stop that! Don't! Stop it!
Here l am, doctor. What's going on here?
What's going on, doctor? Hey, stop it!
Ali dear, open your mouth now. You're my fate. You're my husband.
You're my father, my children's grandfather.
You're like a lorry. Never mind about the bike.
We'll pick tobacco and clean houses if we have to. We'll pay off the bike.
Just so long as that engine of yours is OK.
l'm going back to bed for a bit. The kids are asleep anyway.
-Have a nice breakfast! -OK. We'll soon be heading to bed too.
My wild bull! Get that engine running and give me a ride!
l'm fed up, done in and stressed out. Not even a jack would get it up.
Where have you been these last six years?
We'll see about that now. l'm better than any old jack!
Now get that engine running. Come on! Let's go inside.
Come on, you *** old man. Let's go. Up you get now.
Let's get this sorted out before the sergeant turns up.
Tell me the truth. Do you flirt with other girls?
l bet you do. l know you.
Would l ever? Huh?
Hold on! Don't rush things now. What's the hurry?
How could l look at anyone else? You don't know how much l missed you.
-Slow down! Hold on. Don't rush. -lt's you l've been waiting for.
What's that? At this ungodly hour?
Good news! Good news! We know where the bike is.
Really?
Oh, thank God!
Excuse us, Ali.
Looks like you're busy now. We'll come back later.
Where is it? Where is it?
What a relief! Thank the Lord!
Blasted bike! Couldn't it have been found five minutes later?
ln the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful...
Say: He is Allah, the One. Allah the Eternal, the Absolute.
He begetteth not, nor is He begotten. And there is none like unto Him.
Good girl! Well done.
Where on earth is the Tingoz gang?
Tell them to come whether they learned the verses or not.
Kamil isn't here either. That Kerim is a bad example to his brother.
Anyway... Our subject today is the evils of greed.
lf you're greedy, it'll work against you in both this world and the next.
We're the ones with a complaint to make!
He poisoned our children with his curdled ice cream!
-We want our consumer rights! -We'll go to court for compensation!
What compensation? What curdled ice cream?
Sit down! Stop it now! Shut up!
You see, Saadettin? They're guilty and shameless with it!
l'm not getting involved.
Either you work it out among yourselves or we do as the law says.
We should have filed a report long ago but the boys have held off for my sake.
Now you decide.
Forget that we suffered all night, who's going to pay the doctor's bill?
Well, it's up to you. l'll pass the case on to the courts.
The law will decide on the punishment. No one can escape the law.
And if the kids are sent to a detention centre...
Well then? Either pay the man...
Or l'll file a report and send it to the prosecutor.
How many kilos of ice cream were stolen?
Two tins. lf l'd sold six or seven kilos from each tin...
That's around 14-15 kilos.
-How much is your ice cream a kilo? -20 lira.
Come on, Ali! Not the retail price. What's the wholesale price?
OK. Let's make it 16 lira.
Just wait!
14... That's 224. Divided by seven... Equals...
Everyone pays 32 lira each. Come on now!
32 lira a child.
Come on! Hand it over.
Here, Ali. Take the money.
They used up two litres of petrol too. Who's going to pay for that?
Ali, can't you let two litres of petrol go?!
Why should l? l don't get it out of the tap, do l!
OK, l'll pay for the petrol then.
Here. Dirty miser!
Now get moving! All of you! Keep your kids under control.
What do you have to say about the incident?
l'm not in the mood to do a film! l was up all night. l'm dead tired.
You got me to shoot an ad and it's been my ruin.
l can't be bothered with films now. Let filmmakers think about films.
There's no salep, no proper milk... Just water, sugar and food dye.
My ice cream's not like that.
People steal my ice cream. They risk jail for it.
They think they can fool us with their films.
Well they should think again. l know better than that!
l'll say it again.
l'm speaking on behalf of everyone here.
A proper film should tell the truth.
You keep making jumbled films that don't mean anything.
Making films isn't about having naked girls all over the place.
Don't make a film..
..if you don't believe in yourself. A bit of insanity solves everything!
-Glad you got the bike back, Ali. -Thanks... Thanks.
Get some sleep. Have a rest. You can go out selling tomorrow.
Your dead grandma's going to pay off the bike while l sleep, is she?
Of course she is! She's riding it! You madman, you!
-Ali, l'll see you at the shop. -OK. Goodbye.
See that devil of a brother of yours? He poisoned the last day for us both.
-Why didn't you open the shop, kid? -l did. Before coming over.
At times like that the shop's in your hands.
God forbid, there's no knowing the ways of this world.
lf anything ever happens to me, my family's in your hands.
Look after your livelihood first.
Supposing l'm thrown in jail Who'll look after them then?
Who'll find the bail money?
You will. That's why livelihood comes first.
Look after your money. Don't waste it on fizzy drinks.
Who needs fizzy drinks when there's ice cream?.
Don't waste money on silly books. l don't mean school books.
Watch everyone at school eat sugared chickpeas in winter.
And what's my point? As my dead father used to say...
Eat in a hurry in summer, repent at leisure in winter.
So he found the bike. Big deal.
Ali! l just read in the paper.
When we join the Customs Union, sales of unpackaged food will be banned.
We need to start the struggle now.
Oh no! That means no salep business either.
Damn customs! Damn the union!
Damn Europe and America!
Enough is enough!
Enough!
Ali, don't! Stop it!
Calm down, Ali! Calm down!
Call an ambulance!