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(Multiple voices overlapping, p) "I just never knew how to tell you."
"I have loved a lot." "You want me to say it out loud?"
(Long crescendo sound)
(Sitar string plucking)
(Call to prayer)
(Reading prayers in Arabic)
The Koran is very specific.
...on the issue of homosexuality, it is very clear, you know.
It says it's not a part of the natural order.
"He said to his people, 'Do you commit lewdness'"...
"'such as no people in creation have ever committed before you.'"
"'But you practice your *** on men in preference to women.'"
This whole business of...
...claiming a gay identity is a new thing in the world.
Same-sex relations have been going on in Islamic history...
...for centuries. In the 19th century, homosexuality...
...was something that someone DID and not something that someone WAS.
Like other Muslims who have figured out that they're gay or lesbian...
...I struggled with reconciling...
...a gay *** identity with a Muslim religious identity...
...however, like many others, I just rejected...
...it out of hand as a teenager, I was kind of like, 'This is a religion that doesn't want...'
'...want me, I'm a person who doesn't want this religion.' And so I left it.
Homosexuality is wrong because the Koran...
...says so. If I believe in the Koran...
...how can I be okay with my sexuality?
After a lot of soul-searching, I realized that...
...there is no God.
Because if there was a God, he would have answered my prayers.
After years of prayers...
...and suffering. So, that's when...
...I became an atheist. I was born and raised in...
...New York City, towards the tail end of...
...Elijah Muhammad's Nation of Islam and my father was an Imam...
...of a huge mosque in the Bronx. As the oldest son...
...of the Imam I was expected to uphold traditional values and do...
...all the right things in every situation, but none of that really changed the fact that...
...I like boys. (laughter)
I told my mom when I was 15, actually she found out. She was not pleased...
My dad, on the other hand...
...he was upset...
...for a different set of reasons. As an Imam, his kids were...
...supposed to be "the good ones." We were supposed to be the...
...model children. There's a matter of public embarrassment if...
...other people were to find out that his oldest son was a ***.
I am not out to my family yet.
Well, of course they want me to get married, but I am not gonna...
...marry and I'm not gonna get into a fake marriage and make some poor...
...girl's life miserable. How can you live this double life? On the one hand...
...you believe in God and then you sleep with men.
If you believe in Islam then you definitely...
...you'll have to give up all those desires and live like a good Muslim.
Well, of course, if you want to go to Heaven. And if you want to burn in hell...
...like me, you can give that all up...
...and say good-bye to God, and...
...and the Koran and everything else that goes with it and live your life...
OK, most of the Muslims call it a scholar that...
...I know of, I fear their minds have been more influenced...
...by what happened in the days of the Crusades, you know? And their minds are frozen...
...in that era. But right now, we're living in the 21st century.
So there is a challenge now on the part of the Islamic...
...scholars to do the interpretation of the Koran in relation to...
...the events that are happening right now.
(Prayer chanting)
The Islamic teaching goes: "God has created..."
"...a man and a woman in His image." Because this...
...combination is the only combination that creates children, or fruits...
...like a man/man doesn't raise fruit, women/women don't raise fruit.
(Guitar plucking with drone in background)
After a couple of years of searching I found myself sort of...
...thinking of myself as a Muslim again. I kind of feel like...
...it's futile to fight with straight Muslims my inherent right to...
...exist. I have better ways to waste my time.
I think that a far-better use of my energy is...
...to live a righteous life and to live by example and sort of say...
...that yes, one can be gay or lesbian and be Muslim and to...
...do good things in the world.
What human being can tell me that I cannot have a relationship with god?
Who the hell gave them the right? For someone to claim...
...be he Muslim, Jew, Christian, that I have no right to because...
...of my *** identity is *** and I reject it.
We are who and what we are and nothing is really going to change that.
(Guitar strings plucking) (End credits music)
(Guitar strings plucking) (End credits music)