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Today we're gonna talk about addiction.
What is addiction, really, and how are we going to heal from it.
In the case of somebody who has a problem with addiction,
what you're looking at is someone who is sensitive to discord
they have a difficult time putting up with discord and negative vibrations in their life
and I think this is a good thing
what's not a good thing
is the urge that comes from that.
With addiction
when someone is sensitive to discord
but they don't know that they can control their own thoughts on what they're looking at and thus, control their emotions
they try through trial and error and eventually find an activity or a substance
which creates
alignment for them.
In other words,
this activity or substance causes them to soften their focus on those things which are causing
discord within them, the things which are causing negative emotion
and that softening of focus naturally allows them to flow in the direction of their own desire,
to flow in the direction of joy, to flow in the direction of freedom
and to flow, most importantly, in the direction of relief
whether it is the relief that's felt
from anxiety moving towards calmness
or from depression moving towards excitement
it is always about relief
it is the relief which is being stimulated by an activity or the substance
and this relief
is the very reason that we can say that:
the reason that people get on to addictive substances and to addictive activities
is a well-meaning thing
Everyone in this life desires alignment, everyone in this life desires that sensation of relief,
desires to go in the direction of their True Selves, desires to go towards joy and towards freedom
and so, it is well-meaning that these people find an activity or a substance to simulate relief for themselves
we all want to feel good
the problem with any addiction is that it becomes an escape
The addiction to the activity or the substance
becomes the only way that you think that you can achieve alignment
it tricks your body into even thinking so
we need to understand that whatever addiction we're looking at
what we're really mentally addicted to is the sensation of relief
it doesn't matter whether you're using ***, or whether you're using ***, or whether you're using cutting
or whether you're using an addiction to exercise
It's the very same addiction that we all have mentally, which is to the sensation of relief
which means that there are different devices people use to move towards the same goal
addictions are always mental first
and then they become physical
To understand the way that addiction plays out in terms of your physical body, we need to understand the concept of neurotransmission
Neurotransmission basically means
the signals and impulses that are sent in your nervous system from one nerve cell to another nerve cell
The faster these signals and impulses are sent between nerve cells
the more arousal
you feel
So, a person who seeks the arousal of a certain emotion or a certain sensation
or a certain mood
would seek to find activities and substances
that, basically
cause an increase in the neurotransmission
of the area of the brain that is in charge of
that specific mood, or sensation, or emotion.
An example of somebody who would seek an increase in the neurotransmission
would be somebody who is
addicted to speed, or someone who is addicted to high-risk activities
a person who seeks a decrease in the arousal of certain emotions, and sensations, and moods
would choose activities and would choose substances
which decrease the neurotransmission
of the specific areas of the brain that are in charge of those specific emotions and moods
and sensations
so, an example of somebody who might seek to decrease the neurotransmission
would be somebody who is addicted to Opiates
or calming activities
Once you introduce the specific activity or substance
into your body
to change the rate of the neurotransmission
your body goes through a compensation process
where it tries to reestablish its neurotransmission
which it had prior to you taking that substance or activity
but it does this compensation by assuming
that that same level of activity or same level of substance is going to be present within the system
it's almost like
you have introduced a
stool
into a situation and now one of your feet is resting on the stool and
the other foot is resting on the ground and that's how you're now achieving equilibrium
so, if you were to knock out the stool your body now cannot
basically function without the stool 'cause half of your weight is supported by that stool
so, when you remove the substance your body is out of balance again.
Basically, the reestablishment
of the neurotransmission
is dependent now
upon the presence of that very activity
or substance.
Because of this,
not only do you need to increase the rate of the activity or the substance to get the same kind of a high
because of this neurotransmission concept,
but once you remove that substance or activity, the body is now going to go into a withdrawal symptom
the same way as I was describing, it's like kicking a stool out that was supporting half of the weight
your body is now
compensated
for the presence of that particular substance or activity
and the lack of it is going to create
imbalance again. That imbalance you feel in your body as serious withdrawal symptoms
On a mental level
an addiction is nothing more than a habit that is so incredibly ingrained
that it feels as if that particular habit is in control of you and in control of your happiness
and not the other way around.
Thus, the addiction becomes a tool which reinforces powerlessness.
As you can probably tell from the previous description
almost everyone alive today has one addiction or another
There are varying degrees of healthy or unhealthy and yet again that's a judgment
but all of us have these dependencies, so to speak,
habits which feel more in control of us than we feel in control of it
so when we're talking about an addiction
here in this video, we're talking about
that which society would look at or you would look at and consider extremely detrimental
to your way of life and your health, and you aligning with who you really are.
The problem is, is when that high ends
you remain back exactly where you are because nothing about you in your thought process has changed
The problem is, is now that you've had a taste of what it is to feel relief
where you are in your life feels ten times worse, it becomes unbearable
so we've become chasers of relief.
We've become
people who live only for that sensation which we think is satisfied through the substance or activity we're addicted to
and we are constantly chasing it
to the effect where we lose our lives
to the obsession with chasing that sensation of relief.
Now, chasing the sensation of relief is a good thing
that's what we all should be doing
we should be chasing the sensation of relief, because the sensation of relief is your indication
that you are headed in the direction of your desires and your true self.
The problem with the drug is
it's a substitute
we should be chasing
our desires
chasing that sensation of relief with our thoughts
the drug we're taking or the activity we are doing that we're calling an addiction is doing nothing except for
remaining as an excuse for us to line up with who we really are
but that's not true power, that's losing your power
truly lining up with who you are looks like
I can deliberately choose the thoughts to think
and thus, create my reality in alignment.
I do not need a tool or a substance
which causes that relief within me
that I have no control over.
There are two parts to an addiction
The first part is the desire to find relief,
the desire to move away from discord.
The second part is the chemical dependency
In other words, whatever you are substituting
for your allowing to go in the direction of joy for you
In order for addiction to be healed, both of those aspects have to be addressed.
We use our addictions in order to create a distraction from our own discord
Therefore, our addictions are never going to heal
if we are distracted
from what it is that is causing the discord within us in the first place.
A person's desire for an activity or a substance
which is addictive
can never be
separated
from the situation which the person who's addicted finds themself in.
You can see this very clearly with laboratory studies
where they provide alcohol for animals
and they find that when they start making erratic changes, changes that induce stress within the animals
The animals are then
feeling urges, basically,
to go and consume the alcohol
The alcohol consumption goes up astronomically
according to the stress that is introduced into the situation with these animals.
What that means is:
Is that, if you increase your level of stress and discord in your life
your urge
to do something like
engaging in addictive behavior
is going to go up
If you decrease the stress
and anything that's causing discord in your life,
your urge to go towards an addictive substance
or activity,
will not occur.
You can't find a thought
which is relieving, which of course replaces this crutch you're using to relieve discord,
unless you figure out what the discord behind that addiction is
you have to find out what you're covering up
you have to find out what it is you're running away from
if you want to get the heart of that addictive behavior.
Addiction is not about the substance, it's not about the activity
it's about what the addiction covers up
so, you gotta ask yourself
What is the motivation for this particular addiction?
What am I trying to escape from?
What am I trying to escape from and what am I trying to avoid?
is the most important question to answer with regards to addiction.
now I'm going to put forth to you some steps you can take
to help you
rid yourself
of the addiction
and go in the direction of relief naturally instead of with the crutch.
Step one:
You have to be very honest about where you are
if you're not being honest about where you are nothing is going to help you change
denial
does not help change, it prevents change.
So, step one looks like admitting:
I have an addiction
honestly this behavior, this activity, this substance has more control of me than I have of it.
it makes me very uncomfortable to think about the idea of not engaging in this activity,
or this substance,
or this behavior.
That right there, is
the step of: "I am where I am"
Once you know where you are
you can find out more accurately where you want to go, what you want to be doing
what you would like to do instead
what your idea of the improvement is.
So, step one:
Be honest that you are where you are
and from there you have to decide: Do I want to change this?
Does the detriment to my life
look like more than
what I think the opposite could be.
Is this more of a detriment to me than a benefit to me?
Am I willing to change this?
this is kind of the crux for everybody in addictions
is because
you will never be able to get over an addiction
until you want to change it
that motivation must be present
for you to change the addiction
first and foremost
Two:
Change your life
When you're dealing with addiction and you're ready to get off of this addiction
you have to be prepared
to allow absolutely every aspect of yourself in your life to change
you have to structure your life so that it's more enjoyable
you have to get rid of the people, and places, and things
which reinforced that addictive behavior
and replace them with things that are beneficial to you
people, and places, and things
which are more of a match to who you really are
than a match to the person who's addicted
Resistance
and discord is what's causing you to seek the relief
of that substance or activity which you're addicted to
therefore, in order to not have the urge to engage in the addictive behavior
you have to structure your life
so that the events don't occur
and of course we can't do this a hundred percent of the time
because we're not on the business of trying to control every external aspect of your life
in fact, you can't do it
but you're trying to take any step you can take to reduce the level of stress in your life,
to reduce the amount of people you run into who will enable you to engage in your addictive behavior
to reduce the things which surround you which remind you of the addictive behavior
you have to structure your environment
so that you're not having interactions with things which urge you to engage in your addictive behavior
so if you look very closely your life
you can see which aspects do and don't lend to this new life you're intent on having
and you've got to have the bravery
to let go of the things which don't serve you
and now, build a new life of the things which you think serve you better
Step three goes along with step two:
cut ties
with anything
that does not serve
who you want to be
the only things you should surround yourself with
are the things which are a match to who you really are,
not a match to who you're being right now.
Step four:
Try to get rid of the aspects of the ritual part of addiction to the best of your abilities.
The ritual part of addiction
is as addictive as the actual substance or activity
For example:
They were doing these studies
a long time ago
where they found out that nicotine is way less addictive
when it's injected or ingested
than it is when it's smoked, to people who are chronic smokers.
So, the activity of actually bringing a cigarette up to your mouth
is part of the addiction
and, so if you look at most addictive behaviors everyone has a kind of ritual
so if you go around your life and start disabling those rituals which go into your addiction
you are ten times more likely to be able to let go of the addiction itself because it is less addictive
the minute you start disabling the ritual
Number five:
Find people, or groups, or professionals
who are able to support you
in your journey from where you are to where you want to be
in the journey from addiction to being free of addiction
you should not expect yourself to go through this life alone
this is an interdependent universe
you need to be able to ask for help
There are many people out there with resources for you
who can help you line up with who you really are
who can enable you to find your own kind of freedom
You want to find people who are capable
of reflecting back to you
who you really are
Find the people who are capable of loving you when you're covered in vomit
Find the people who are capable of loving you when you're screaming and you're itching your own skin off
You need to find people who are capable of holding an anchor for you
and that anchor is
who you really are
people who can say: in this moment,
regardless of who you're being and how you are behaving and how much you're freaking out
I am able to see who you really are and who you are becoming.
These people are the people you need to surround yourself with at this time
Six:
Ease up about your guilt relative to the subject of addiction
and relapses, especially
because when you have somebody who feels discord and has been inspired towards...
it's not an inspiration, it's an urge, there's a difference, but then
feels an urge towards a kind of a substance or activity that we would call an addiction
when they feel guilt for the addiction itself it becomes like more discord added on top of it
and that spirals into more addiction.
So, if you're a person who's addicted
ease up on it a bit!
understand that the reason you're even doing this in the first place, the reason you are taking that substance or doing that activity
is because you want to feel good
it's understandable why you're doing these things
it does not make you a bad person
you still have every bit as much worth as you did when you were born
you need to ease up on yourself a bit because
anytime you add the stress of guilt
and of disappointment towards the self, on top of
all of the reasons you originally are engaging in this activity in the first place
you have a recipe for disaster and for failure
and there is no reason
to put yourself in that kind of prison
and punishment
You cannot condemn yourself or feel guilt without feeding the vibration of addiction
Your body will always compensate
because it loves you
and so, every single time you put something in your body that's addictive
it will compensate so you need more, and more, and more, and more, and more to get the same kind of sensations
now, if you're going to add self condemnation and guilt on top of that
you will need even more, and even more, and even more of the very substance you're addicted to
i.e. if you've added a whole bunch of guilt on top of it
it will take more of the substance to erase your level
of discord and move you into the feeling of self soothing
The problem is, because nothing has changed, the focus still remains the same, you still maintain the same point of attraction
when that high wears off and you go back to your life,
your life will become worse and worse
it's the guilt
it's the self disappointment
that makes that behaviors and lifestyles of these addicted people worse
it isn't actually the substance
It's the fact that, once you become addicted and become powerless
you feel absolutely no self-esteem
and when you feel absolutely no self-esteem your point of attraction gets worse, and gets worse, and gets worse
and because your point attraction is getting worse, and worse, and worse
the things which exist in your physical reality
are also getting worse, and worse, and worse, and worse
you are surrounding yourself with people who are
absolutely in an aspect of powerlessness
you feel like you're a victim, so you surround yourself with perpetrators
you feel like a failure and so, your body can't stay in health
and your situation just keeps snowballing to the point where it's really a life or death situation
so, you need to remove the level of guilt within you
and the self condemnation for the addiction in the first place
if you're ever to overcome it.
Number Seven:
I think this is the most important point
the most important aspect of healing an addiction
you need to delve into the motivation for this addiction in the first place
like we were talking about previously
you need to find out what the addiction is covering
you need to find out what you're trying to use the addiction to escape
and you need to delve into that as deep as you can possibly go
it is possible to do this alone but yet again in an interdependent universe
you should not expect yourself to
this is really heavy stuff you're dealing with!
people don't just wake up one day and say: I want to be addicted to something
they get to addictions because their place of discord is so big
so, you don't need to unravel that all by yourself.
You can find people
you can find professionals
you can find psychologists, you can find guides, you can find addiction counselors
who are capable of helping you delve into
the thing which is really underneath your addictions
until you solve the motivation for your addiction in the first place
the motivation is still going to exist
and when the motivation still exists for you to escape and to engage in the addictive behavior
the addictive behavior will still be something you engage in
This is where a lot of people go wrong, they say:
I can't get over this, for some reason I literally just can't let go of the addiction
That's because it still serves you!
an addiction still serves you when the motivation is not healed
when that thing which the addiction covers up
and the discord which you are trying to distract yourself with the addiction
still is present...
then, obviously there is not going to be any healing of the addiction
the number one key to healing an addiction
is to heal what is underneath the addiction
Eight:
Put a plan in place for you getting off of your addiction.
There are a lot of resources out there where people have
advice about how to structure your life in a way where you have plans and backup plans
for getting off addictions and not falling back into them.
What I mean by this is, you wanna structure your life so you have as many ideas of what to do instead
of do the addiction when you begin to feel the urge or even before you begin to feel the urge
so that the urge never occurs
so an example of
some of these plans might be:
a list of people to call,
might be a list of activities which you've decided to go do
might be...
chewing gum instead of putting in a cigarette in your mouth
there are all kinds of plans if you go looking for them, which you should,
there are all kinds of people with brilliant plans as to how you can go
from a state of feeling totally overwhelmed and at the mercy of your addiction
to feeling like you have set up your life in a way that you have a lot of backups
so that you can choose another action than engaging in your addiction
One of my personal favorite parts of this plan is to "play the tape forward"
When you play the tape forward, basically what you're doing is,
when you start feeling that urge to engage in the addiction
you're going to visualize
what it will look like
after you do this
So, if I'm going to be really objective about this
and I'm planning on engaging in
whatever drug I'm addicted to,
I will feel disappointed in myself
I will probably feel like giving up on everything like I failed, like I've fallen back down the ladder
I'm going to have a few days of recovery again because I've yet again introduced a substance which will cause
in equilibrium within my body
now, when I'm playing this "play it forward" game, trying to figure out what it might look like
if I do end up taking this
a day after
or two days after
or three days after, or a week after
it becomes a lot less enticing
you start to see how this action which you have become so convinced is going to make you feel relief
ultimately is going to make you feel worse.
Playing it forward will help you be a lot less motivated
to engage in your addictive behavior
Nine:
Start treating your body and your health
seriously, and with love, and with care
structure your diet so that it is a
benefit to your health and not a detriment
do the same thing with sleep
do the same thing with the people you surround yourself with
do the same thing with activities that you're doing and engaging in
you want to structure your life
to be in alignment
with something that is a benefit to you and not a detriment to you
exercise, and diet, and sleep, and healthy people, and healthy activities
all bring you into balance, they clear you of toxins
they help you to move towards positive thoughts and positive thoughts are not conducive
to negative actions like engaging in an addictive behavior.
You want to commit to this as much as you can.
I understand that by this point,
when you have an addictive behavior
you don't love yourself yet.
So, taking an action which is in line with loving yourself is really really hard
when you don't really love yourself
but it's kind of like a cycle:
the more you practice
loving yourself
with thoughts
the more you'll be inspired to take actions that are in line with self love
but I also think that it goes the other way as well
the more actions you take towards loving yourself
the more your body receives the message
I love myself
and it's easier to think thoughts like: I love myself
So, sometimes it's beneficial to take those actions
that express love to yourself even when you don't feel it
Ten:
Learn how to meditate. Meditation is going to be one of the most valuable things you can learn.
Yoga would be a form of moving meditation. There are all kinds of forms of meditation.
So if, when I'm talking about meditation it stars to not appeal to you because
if your classic idea of having to sit in the corner of a room with your eyes closed,
that's okay
there is a type of meditation for you!
The problem is, is that relaxation is absolutely essential
to introduce into your life if you have discord and like we said before
discord is the very thing which is causing you to have the urge to go towards something
which is a substitute for relief like an addictive behavior
So, if you have an addictive behavior, finding a way to relax, to allow,
to let yourself go in the direction of things to find relief in ways that are healthy
is absolutely paramount
meditation is one of the best ways to do this
if not the best way
so, try it out!
try out things which allow you naturally,
absent of a crutch, to move in the direction of freedom, and bliss, and relief
Those are the ten essential steps, I think,
when going from addictive behaviors
to being free of addiction
like always, any of the trials which come into your life
make you expand, make you more.
Make you more capable of finding joy and bliss than even those who walk around with moderate level of it
Addictions is not about removing the substance,
it's not about removing the activity which you're addicted to
it is about creating a life, changing your life so that you have a life
where you do not even feel the urge towards a substance or an activity
in the first place
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