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My name is Johnny Brown and I live in Belfast. I'm a GP by profession.
We met playing badminton. Linda was 15 and I was 18 and we both then played badminton
all our lives together. We would have been married 40 years next week. We had three children
and two grandchildren. We had a really good life. But we always knew who knows what the
future will hold. Linda was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. We sat outside the night of
the diagnosis and we shed a few tears. The majority of the care couldn't have been
bettered, but obviously there were many difficulties in communications that every cancer patients
faced. And even though I'm a GP and had lots of knowledge I found it hard enough at times
to navigate the course. Linda left a little diary which I'd seen her
occasionally writing in that wasn't to read until after she died. I'd forgotten about
it and then the night she died, when everybody had gone, I remembered and then I sat and
read it. 'I had fun, happiness, love and security,
I never was lonely in my life. Except now, with this awful disease which no one can share
with me. But I know, my love, you have done your very best to make it easier for me, and
I thank you for that. I know now that, within herself, even though she'd talk about things,
she actually had that little lonely part of her that no one could touch.
Loneliness is probably something that I think all of us in the cancer field should be aware
of and probably should talk more to cancer patients about. During Linda's treatment,
her contact with Macmillan was great. Linda got invited to the health and beauty day that
they ran and she came home bubbling. It was a time when she lost her hair, and she'd come
home with all these samples and she'd been pampered and looked after and it really lifted
her spirits. And it made me realise that, cancer isn't all about pills and tablets and
medicines, it's about self esteem and body image and lots of other things so that was
really a great day. I'd seen a lot of people obviously over the
years diagnosed and during Linda's illness I started to get more involved. I now work
as a Macmillan GP advisor for Northern Ireland. I actually got the job three months before
Linda died and she knew it meant a lot to me and I think it meant a lot to her too because
Linda left me another note. 'I hope you enjoy your new job with Macmillan and use your experience
to help other patients with cancer'. And that's what inspires me now, day by day to keep on
doing what I'm doing.