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(Clifton) WELCOME TO OSCAR'S BARBERSHOP,
NAMED AFTER MY DADDY, WHO PASSED IT ON TO ME.
IT'S BEEN A PART OF WASHINGTON D.C. A LONG TIME.
N CURTIS.
MY OWN BOSS AND LOVIN' EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
AND THIS IS MY LITTLE SISTER, TRACY,
AND HER HUSBAND, LEONARD.
THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY EARL.
AND THIS WONDERFUL PERSON,
WELL, THAT'S MY MAMA.
♪[humming]
[doorbell chiming]
OH, HI, EARL. HOW YOU DOIN'?
[snickering]
WHAT ARE YOU GRINNIN' ABOUT?
[continues snickering]
EARL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SWALLOWED A PIANO.
[laughing]
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, GUY?
YOU GOT SOMETHIN' TO TELL ME? YOU GOT SOMETHIN' IN YOUR EAR?
UH, SOUNDS LIKE... UH, SOUNDS LIKE...
[clears throat]
DRINK, UH, SODA, MILK,
UH, WH-WHISKEY, UH, GIN, UH, ***, HOT SAUCE,
SAUCE, SOUNDS LIKE SAUCE.
UH, BOSS, CROSS, UH, TOSS,
HOSS, HOSS... HORSE!
MY HORSE, GALLOPING DOMINO,
WON IN THE 5TH RACE TODAY!
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
DON'T PLAY WITH ME, EARL.
I'M NOT PLAYIN'. HE PAID 50-TO-1!
WOW! 100 BIG ONES!
THAT'S MY 6TH WINNER
HEY, HEY, HEY!
EARL, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST COME RIGHT OUT AND TELL ME?
OH, I'M JUST HAVIN' A LITTLE FUN.
BUT, MAN, ARE YOU HOT THIS WEEK!
OH, NO, JUST A LITTLE LUCKY.
A LITTLE LUCK?
WHAT'S IT BEEN? 6 WINNERS IN A ROW THIS WEEK,
$48 LAST NIGHT IN THE POOL GAME,
AND YOU DATIN' THE PRETTIEST LADY IN WASHINGTON D.C.
OH, C'MON NOW, EARL,
THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF FOXY SISTERS IN D.C.,
JUST AS GOOD-LOOKIN' AS CLAUDIA FRAZIER.
THEN HOW COME MINE ALWAYS LOOK LIKE JOE FRAZIER?
YOU GOT ANY MAIL FOR ME, EARL?
YEAH, I GOT A LETTER FROM A MAGAZINE THAT SAYS,
"YOU MAY HAVE WON $25,000."
YEAH, OR A BIG HOUSE IN SUBURBIA
WITH AN AUTHENTIC TREE CHEWED ON BY EWELL GIBBONS.
HEY, YOU BETTER OPEN IT.
LUCKY AS YOU ARE, THERE MAY BE SOME MONEY IN IT.
YEAH, WELL, HERE'S ONE FOR MAMA.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT IN TO...
HEY, YOU KNOW WHO THIS, UH, REV. GEORGE ARMBRUSTER IS?
OH, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD?
THAT'S THAT NEW, YOUNG PREACHER
THAT'S HELPIN' OUT REV. PICKETT AT THE CHURCH.
AND, MAN, THEY SAY HE IS A DYNAMO.
HE'S GATHERIN' UP ALL THE YOUNG SINNERS
AND BRINGIN' ALL OF YOU RIGHT BACK IN THE CHURCH.
ME? WHAT ABOUT YOU AND THAT FREDDIE HAMPTON?
I MEAN, HE'S NOT JUST A REGULAR SINNER.
FREDDIE'S A GOURMET SINNER.
I BETTER TELL FREDDIE TO WATCH HIS STEP.
TOO LATE.
HE GOT FREDDIE INTO CHURCH?
FREDDIE SINGS IN THE CHOIR.
AND YOU COULD BE THE NEXT ONE, CLIFF.
OH, NOT ME. NO WAY. NO.
YOU SEE, GOIN' TO CHURCH HAS TO BE A PERSONAL DECISION.
YOU CAN'T PRESSURE A GUY INTO DOIN' THAT.
NOW, I GO TO CHURCH WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT,
AND WHEN I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT, I DON'T GO.
SO, UH, TELL REV. ARMBLISTER,
OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS, TO STAY AWAY FROM MY HOUSE.
SO NICE OF YOU TO DROP IN ON US, REV. ARMBRUSTER.
IT'S MY PLEASURE, MRS. CURTIS.
I'M STILL TRYING TO GET TO KNOW MY CONGREGATION JUST A LITTLE BIT BETTER.
OH, I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT HERE, REVEREND.
THE PEOPLE ARE FRIENDLY AND THE NEIGHBORHOOD IS IDEAL.
YOU KNOW, I NEVER EXPECTED A REVEREND
TO BE SO YOUNG AND GOOD-LOOKING.
OF COURSE, THERE HAVE BEEN SOME MUGGING RECENTLY.
YOU'VE DONE SO MANY WONDERFUL THINGS
IN THE SHORT TIME YOU'VE BEEN WITH US, REVEREND.
THANK YOU.
AND WHAT'S THE OTHER NEW IDEA YOU HAVE IN
OH, YES.
IN AN EFFORT TO BRING YOUNG PEOPLE BACK INTO THE CHURCH,
I WAS THINKING OF INSTITUTING SOMETHING I CALL GUEST PRAYERS,
TO OPEN OUR SERVICES.
OH, I THINK THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.
AND I BELIEVE WE HAVE A YOUNG MAN RIGHT HERE
WHO WOULD BE PERFECT TO LEAD THE PROGRAM OFF.
OH, REALLY?
OH, HE'S A FINE, IN' YOUNG MAN.
OH, A GOOD CHRISTIAN.
MAMA, STOP.
YES, MAMA.
WOULD YOU CALL CLIFTON?
CLIFTON?
OH, MAMA, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS?
WELL, NOW, I REALIZE
THAT MY SON ISN'T WHAT YOU WOULD CALL A DEVOUT CHURCHGOER.
Y,
AND I THINK SAYIN' THE PRAYERS WOULD BE GOOD FOR HIM.
JUST THE TYPE
MMM-HMM.
WELL, I DON'T THINK READIN' A PRAYER WOULD WORK FOR CLIFTON.
.
THANKS.
WELL, I BETTER E SPLITTIN'.
AND, I'LL BE DIGGIN' YOU
AT THE BIG POOL TOURNAMENT TH
WOULDN'T MISS IT FOR THE WORLD.
[cash register rings]
HEY, I HEARD THAT SIDE POCKET SIDNEY IS GONNA BE THERE.
CLIFF, WITH YOUR LUCK THE WAY IT IS,
I BET YOU, YOU COULD BEAT HIM THIS YEAR.
OH, NO. I'M NOT SHOOTIN' AGAINST SIDE POCKET SIDNEY.
OH, C'MON, MAN. DIG THE ODDS WE CAN GET.
AND YOU HOT. YOU HOT, BABY!
YOU HOTTER THAN A CHILI PEPPER BELCH IN THE DESERT!
EARL, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT, MAN.
(Mama) CLIFTON, WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE I GOT SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.
HEY, WAIT TILL I TELL HER ABOUT THE 100 BIG ONES I WON TODAY.
HEY, BUT I THOUGHT MAMA FROWNED ON YOU GAMBLIN'.
OH, YEAH, SHE DOES.
BUT SHE FROWNS A LOT LESS WHEN I'M WINNIN'.
[laughing]
MA, GUESS WHO JUST MADE $100 FOR A MINUTE'S WORK?
I...
OH, HELLO.
REV. ARMBRUSTER, THIS IS MY SON, CLIFTON.
THIS IS A PLEASURE, CLIFTON.
HOW DO YOU DO, REVEREND.
YOU JUST MISSED
GOOD.
CLIFTON, WHO MADE $100 FOR ONE MINUTE'S WORK?
UH, BONNIE AND CLYDE?
[tittering]
CLIFTON, WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
OH, NOTHING, MAMA. EXCUSE ME.
HOLD ON, BROTHER CLIFTON.
IF YOU KNOW OF ANY MONEY-MAKIN' SCHEMES, LET ME KNOW.
OUR CHURCH COULD SURE USE 'EM.
I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU,
LAST SUNDAY WE TOOK IN A GRAND TOTAL OF $38, DIG IT?
[scoffs]
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, REVEREND,
YOU COULD ALWAYS TAKE THE $38,
AND PUT IT DOWN ON GALLOPING DOMINO IN THE 3RD RACE TOMORROW.
PAYS 7-TO-1.
CLIFTON!
OH, COME ON MAMA.
THE REVEREND AND I WERE JUST JOKIN'. RIGHT, REV?
OF COURSE.
WHILE THE LORD DOESN'T CONDONE GAMBLING,
HE DOESN'T EXPECT ALL OF US TO BE PERFECT ALL THE TIME.
HEY, YOU KNOW, REV, I LIKE THE SOUND OF THE LORD'S WORDS.
HOWEVER,
NOT SURE ABOUT HIS "HOWEVER."
...IF YOU DON'T CONDUCT YOURSELF PROPERLY
IN THAT GREAT HORSE RACE OF LIFE,
YOU'D BETTER BEWARE OF THE LORD'S WIN, PLACE, AND SHOW.
NOW, WHAT'S THAT?
YOU'LL WIN NOTHING, HE'LL PLACE YOU IN HELL,
AND HE'LL SHOW YOU NO MERCY.
AMEN.
WELL, I GUESS YOU MADE YOUR POINT, REVEREND.
NOW, MAMA, WHAT WAS THAT GOOD NEWS YOU HAD FOR ME?
CLIFTON, THE REVEREND WANTS THE YOUNGER MEMBERS OF THE CONGREGATION
TO READ THE OPENING PRAYERS AT THE SERVICES.
AND GUESS WHO I SUGGESTED TO LEAD OFF THE PROGRAM NEXT SUNDAY?
MAMA, I HOPE YOU DIDN'T.
CLIFTON, IT'S YOU!
YOU DID.
BROTHER CLIFTON, THIS SHOULD BE QUITE AN HONOR.
WELL, REVEREND, I, UH...
I'D REALLY LIKE TO GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT.
FINE. HOW SOON WILL YOU LET ME KNOW ABOUT SUNDAY?
HOW'S MONDAY?
GOOD.
WELL, I REALLY MUST BE GOING.
NICE MEETING YOU, CLIFTON.
GOOD TO MEET YOU, TOO, REV. ARMBUSTER.
UH,
YEAH.
I MUST APOLOGIZE FOR MY SON'S BEHAVIOR, REVEREND.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO READ THE PRAYER.
NONSENSE.
CLIFTON'S NOT AS FEROCIOUS AS HE SEEMS.
CHURCH,
EVEN A LION CAN TURN INTO A LAMB.
MMM, THAT'S A SWITCH.
THROWIN' A LION TO THE CHRISTIANS.
VERY GOOD, MRS. CURTIS.
I MUST REMEMBER TO USE THAT ONE IN MY SERMON.
GOODBYE.
WELL, I GUESS I'LL SEE ABOUT DINNER.
(Clifton) MAMA.
I GUESS DINNER CAN WAIT.
ALL RIGHT, MAMA,
WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?
CLIFTON.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
YOU VOLUNTEERED MY SERVICES WITHOUT CONSULTING ME.
MAMA, WHY DID YOU DO IT?
CLIFTON.
I'LL TELL YOU WHY YOU DID IT.
YOU DID IT TO TRICK ME INTO DOING SOMETHING THAT I DIDN'T WANNA DO.
MAMA, I RESENT THIS, AND I WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT.
FINE, SOON AS YOU FINISH TALKIN' TO YOURSELF.
MAMA.
OK, CLIFTON, YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT.
YOU DON'T WANNA DO IT.
MAMA, IT SO HAPPENS I HAVE OTHER THINGS PLANNED FOR SUNDAY.
LIKE WHAT? BREAKIN' ALL THE COMMANDMENTS YOU DIDN'T BREAK ON SATURDAY?
MAMA, WHAT I DO ON SUNDAY,
MY ONLY DAY OFF, HAPPENS TO BE MY BUSINESS.
OOL"
AND END WITH THE LETTER "HALL"?
MAMA, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW A WHOLE LOT OF FOLKS
WHO GO TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY, AND GO TO HELL EVERY MONDAY.
AT LEAST, I'M NOT A HYPOCRITE. BESIDES, I GO TO CHURCH SOMETIMES.
I KNOW. YOU'RE VERY CONSISTENT.
YOU GOT TO CHURCH REGULARLY EVERY EASTER AND CHRISTMAS.
OH, MAMA, YOU KNOW I KNOW ALL MY PRAYERS,
AND I'VE READ THE BIBLE,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHIN' I GOTTA TELL YOU.
AND BELIEVE ME, SOMETHIN' I'VE GIVEN A LOT OF THOUGHT TO.
I THINK I MIGHT HAVE LEANINGS TOWARDS AGNOSTICISM.
AG-WHAT-ICISM?
AGNOSTICISM.
STIC.
WELL, AS LONG AS YOU BELIEVE IN GOD,
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE.
MAMA, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU SEE, AN AGNOSTIC IS ONE WHO HAS DOUBTS.
ABOUT WHAT?
ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF A SUPREME BEING.
SOMETIMES AN AGNOSTIC FEELS THAT THERE IS,
AND SOMETIMES HE FEELS THAT THERE ISN'T,
THEN SOMETIMES WHEN HE FEELS THAT THERE ISN'T,
HE GETS THE FEELING THAT MAYBE HE SHOULD FEEL THAT THERE IS.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
SOMETIMES I THINK I DO, AND SOMETIMES I THINK I DON'T.
WELL, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.
MAMA--
CLIFTON, ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT THERE IS NO GOD?
OH, NO, I'M NOT SAYIN' THERE'S NO GOD.
WELL, THANK HEAVEN'S FOR THAT.
BUT THEN AGAIN, I'M NOT SAYIN' THERE IS.
YOU'RE A FOOL.
MAMA, ISN'T IT CONCEIVABLE
THAT--THAT SOMEBODY
OR BE UNSURE ABOUT THINGS?
CERTAINLY.
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS.
BUT THERE'S ONE THING I AM SURE OF.
I'M SURE YOU'RE A FOOL.
BUT THEN AGAIN, MAYBE I'M NOT.
CLIFTON, WHERE ARE YOU GETTING ALL OF THESE WEIRD IDEAS?
I'VE BEEN DISCUSSING THEOLOGY
WITH, UH, ONE OF MY PROFESSORS AT FEDERAL CITY COLLEGE.
DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOUR TEACHER IS AN AGNOSTIC?
NO, HE'S AN ATHEIST.
CLIFTON, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS.
NOW, I WANT YOU IN CHURCH ON SUNDAY.
MAMA, I WILL DECIDE WHAT I'M GOING TO DO ON SUNDAY.
CLIFTON, I'M SERIOUS.
SO AM I.
ONE.
NOW, MAMA...
GO ON, PICK IT, PICK IT UP. PICK IT UP!
NOW, YOU DIAL THE CHURCH.
AND, YOU TELL THE REVEREND THAT YOU'RE GONNA READ THAT PRAYER ON SUNDAY!
EARL,
TELL SIDE POCKET SIDNEY THAT QUICK STICK CURTIS
WILL BE PARTICIPATING IN HIS SERVICES AT THE POOL HALL,
SUNDAY MORNIN'!
HEY, CLIFF, I HEARD YOUR LUCK'S GONE BAD
T
UH, IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE.
YEAH, YOU WANNA CHANGE YOUR LUCK,
YOU OUGHT TO CARRY A RABBIT'S FOOT WITH YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, WILDCAT.
I CARRIED 4 RABBIT'S FEET YESTERDAY, AND DIDN'T CHANGE MY LUCK.
YOU GOTTA TAKE 'EM OFF THE RABBIT FIRST, DUMMY.
NOW ME, I KNOW ALL ABOUT BAD LUCK.
I'VE HAD A LOT OF IT.
YEAH, I KNOW. I SAW YOUR FIRST WIFE.
SHE HAD GOOD LUCK.
SHE WAS LUCKY I DIDN'T KILL HER.
[snickering]
NOW, LOOK, FELLOWS, SURE I'VE HAD A STRING OF MISFORTUNES LATELY,
BUT BELIEVE ME,
SOON AS MY HORSE, BLACKBIRD, WINS THAT 5TH RACE TODAY,
I'M ON MY WAY AGAIN.
THANK YOU. NEXT.
HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENIN'.
HEY, JOSH, WILDCAT.
HEY, EARL.
BROTHER EARL, DO YOU HAVE THE RESULTS OF THE 5TH RACE?
YEAH.
BAD NEWS.
DON'T TELL ME MY HORSE LOST.
♪ BYE, BYE, BLACKBIRD ♪
R.
UH, CLIFF,
WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENIN' TO YOUR FANTASTIC LUCK LATELY, HUH?
EARL, NOT YOU, TOO?
LOOK, MY LUCK'S BEEN GREAT UP TO NOW.
SO IT TURNED A LITTLE SOUR.
IT'LL PICK UP AGAIN. I KNOW IT.
[whooping]
CLIFF, IF I TELL THE TALE
I CAN TELL,
WILL YOU PROMISE NOT TO
KICK ME IN THE MIDDLE OF MY TAIL?
JUNIOR, TELL US YOUR TALE.
ONCE UPON A TIME,
[Clifton guffawing]
LIKE JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO,
FREDDIE HAMPTON TOLD ME THAT HE WAS TAKIN' OUT
CLAUDIA FRAZIER TONIGHT.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
CLAUDIA'S NOT GOIN' OUT WITH FREDDIE TONIGHT.
OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, SHE IS.
HEY, MAN, FREDDIE HIT IT BIG AT THE TRACK,
SO HE'S TAKING CLAUDIA TO THE DRIVE-IN.
BUT, CLAUDIA'S SUPPOSED TO BE GOIN' WITH ME TO THE DRIVE-IN TONIGHT,
NOT WITH FREDDIE.
WELL, I GUESS IT'S JUST FREDDIE'S UNLUCKY NIGHT.
HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT?
WELL, 'CAUSE THERE'S A GOOD MOVIE ON AT THE DRIVE-IN
AND IF HE GOES WITH CLAUDIA,
[hissing]
HE'S GONNA MISS IT.
[grunts]
NOW, I'LL KICK YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR TAIL.
MAN,
HOW LONG IS THIS BAD LUCK GONNA GO ON?
EARL, TELL ME SOMETHIN', MAN.
N THINGS GO WRONG?
[chuckles]
I TURN TO THE MAN UPSTAIRS.
WOW, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE THAT RELIGIOUS.
I'M TALKIN' ABOUT MR. JACKSON ON THE 3RD FLOOR.
HE'S A BARTENDER. KNOWS EVERYTHIN'.
CLIFTON!
WHAT YOU DOIN' HOME ON A SATURDAY NIGHT?
OH, YOU KNOW, I'M USUALLY CHARGIN' OUT,
LOOKIN' FOR A GOOD TIME,
BUT I THOUGHT FOR A CHANGE, I'D JUST, YOU KNOW, STAY HOME TONIGHT,
SIT BACK, RELAX,
CHEW SOME BUBBLEGUM,
WATCH LAWRENCE WELK, I DON'T KNOW.
[laughs]
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. YOU COULDN'T GET A DATE.
OK, SO EVERYBODY IN TOWN
KNOWS I LOST MY CHICK TO FREDDIE HAMPTON.
YOU LOST AT CARDS, YOU LOST YOUR GIRL,
AND YOU LOST YOUR FAITH.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU LOSE NEXT.
ALL RIGHT, MAMA.
NOW, SUPPOSE I SAY THERE IS A GOD,
AND I PRAYED TO HIM RIGHT NOW,
WOULD THAT CHANGE ANYTHING?
IF YOU'RE SINCERE,
BUT IF YOU'RE NOT,
.
NOW, MAMA, IF A PERSON ISN'T SURE ABOUT GOD,
HOW CAN HE PRAY TO HIM SINCERELY?
AND IF HE CAN'T PRAY TO HIM SINCERELY,
HOW CAN HE PRAY TO HIM AT ALL?
[doorbell ringing]
CLIFTON, THE SUBJECT OF RELIGION IS HEREBY CLOSED.
FINE WITH ME, MAMA. I DON'T WANT TO MENTION IT.
AND I DON'T WANNA BE REMINDED OF IT, EITHER.
OH, THIS SHOULD TAKE MY MIND RIGHT OFF RELIGION.
WHAT'S HAPPENING, BROTHER CLIFTON.
YOU GOT IT, REV.
RIGHT. GOOD EVENING, MRS. CURTIS.
ISE.
I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
HOW ABOUT IT, BROTHER CLIFTON?
YOU GONNA READ THE PRAYER FOR US TOMORROW?
T GONNA DO IT.
MAMA, MAY I PLEASE SPEAK FOR MYSELF?
.
REVEREND, I'M NOT GONNA DO IT.
BUT WHY?
CLIFTON DOUBTS THE EXISTENCE OF GOD.
IS THAT ALL?
MRS. CURTIS, EVERYBODY DOUBTS THE EXISTENCE OF GOD AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER.
THEY DO?
OF COURSE. HOW OLD ARE YOU, CLIFTON?
GOIN' ON 26.
CAN I LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET?
AH, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
I HAD SO
OH, HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW?
27.
LOOK, BROTHER CLIFTON,
FROM A LOGICAL, INTELLECTUAL, POINT OF VIEW,
ONE CAN DOUBT ANYTHING.
BUT BELIEF IN GOD IS BASED ON FAITH.
AND THE WHOLE ESSENCE OF PRAYER IS TO REAFFIRM THAT FAITH.
MAN, I WANT YOU TO GIVE THAT PRAYER TOMORROW, FOR YOUR SAKE.
DO YOU THINK IT'LL HELP MY LUCK AT THE TRACK?
NOW, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
I DON'T WANT YOU THERE WITH THAT PURPOSE IN MIND.
NEITHER DO I.
[doorbell rings]
OH, I'LL GET IT.
CLIFTON, CLIFTON, GUESS WHAT?
SIDE POCKET SIDNEY IS LAYIN' 5-TO-1 ODDS
THAT HE'S GONNA BEAT YOU ON SUNDAY IN POOL.
NOW, EVEN WITH YOUR ROTTEN LUCK, I'M TAKIN' THEM ODDS.
OH, MAN! OH, BABY!
OH, LORD.
[mumbling]
[Clifton mumbling]
IT'S YOUR CHOICE, CLIFTON.
WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?
HEAVEN?
OR HELL?
[exclaims]
[wind howling]
WE GOT BACK JUST IN TIME.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S FIXIN' TO RAIN.
YEAH.
OH, MAMA, WASN'T THAT A WONDERFUL SERVICE THIS MORNIN'?
NT.
I THOUGHT REV. ARMBRUSTER WAS FORCEFUL, YET COMPASSIONATE.
HE HAS THE MAKING OF A GREAT RELIGIOUS LEADER.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, HE EVEN KEPT JOSH AND WILDCAT AWAKE
THROUGH THE WHOLE SERVICE.
OK.
[sighs]
CLIFTON,
I WANT TO TELL YOU HOW PROUD I WAS OF YOU THIS MORNIN' IN CHURCH.
THANK YOU, MAMA.
THINGS GONNA BE A LOT BETTER FROM NOW ON.
GOD'S LOOKIN' OUT FOR YOU.
OH, YEAH?
THEN HOW COME WHEN I WAS READIN' THE PRAYER, I DROPPED THE BIBLE?
JUST KEEP THE FAITH AND TRUST IN THE LORD.
LORD,
I'LL LAY YOU 5-TO-1 YOU KNOCKED THAT BIBLE OUT OF MY HAND.
BUT YOU PROBABLY DID IT SO THAT THE WORDS OF PRAYER WOULD COME FROM MY HEART.
AND IF THAT WAS YOUR PLAN, LORD,
READING THY HOLY WORD IN YOUR HOUSE
SURE MAKES A PERSON FEEL A LOT BETTER,
AND I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU.
BUT DON'T TELL MAMA.
DAY.
[doorbell ringing]
THE COFFEE'S ALMOST READY, CLIFTON.
YEAH, SOMEBODY AT THE DOOR.
OOH, CLIFF, YOU SHOULD BE GLAD YOU WENT TO CHURCH, MAN.
WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, EARL?
I'M TALKIN' ABOUT THE POOL HALL.
NOW, SOME GUYS WAS IN THE BACK
WITH THIS BIG, FLOATIN', CRAP GAME, BIG TIME MONEY GOIN' DOWN.
THE COPS COME IN, BUST EVERYBODY!
I GOT AWAY IN TIME.
CLIFF, YOU AND I COULD BE IN JAIL, NOW.
NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT, CLIFTON?
WELL, I COULD SAY, MY LUCK HAS CHANGED.
OR I COULD SAY,
THANK YOU, LORD.
[thunder roaring]
HE SAYS, "YOU'RE WELCOME."
[indistinct talking]
(Clifton) THAT'S MY MAMA WAS RECORDED ON TAPE
BEFORE A LIVE AUDIENCE.