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-Hey, what's up, you guys?
You know, there's nothing I love more than watching all the video responses you guys send me.
They're always so sweet and caring.
-This is Shane.
[retches]
You have no idea what I am going to do once I see that ***.
Ohhhhh...yeah!
-Oh, my God.
Just call me Helen Keller, because I am speechless.
It's like you guys know the way to my heart.
-Grab all your condoms
Take off all your clothes
Shave your private parts
*** Time's about to start
Spread your legs
Open wide
Get some lube and shake your thighs
Here comes Shane Dawson
The guy who knows how to
Blow your mind
-Hey, what's up you guys?
Yes, it's the return of Viewer *** Time.
This week, I couldn't film a normal video,
because I was helping my mom move,
which, by the way, her old house is empty so, house party.
No, I'm just kidding.
I wouldn't throw a party.
I've never even been to a party.
Well, I guess I've been to like a birthday party.
But there wasn't that much, you know, partying going on.
But there was cake.
[noisemaker blows]
All right you guys, let's start the ***.
On Twitter, I asked you guys,
"If Snooki was a food, what kind of food would she be?"
I got a lot of the obvious Ho Hos,
pig, cow ***.
But one that really stuck out to me was one I've never really heard of before:
"A *** lollipop with all the colors of the rainbow."
No, I didn't think this was a real thing so I Googled it and look what I found.
Bam!
It's actually a real thing.
People actually suck on that.
But this is the best part:
right under that picture, look what I found.
Boo-yah, Snooki suckin' on a ***.
It's like she knew we were playing this game.
It's like she looked at my Twitter and she's like,
"Yo Ronnie, we need to go get a *** lollipop.
Shane's playing Viewer *** Party."
Snooki, Snickers, Schnook-shnack,
whatever your name is,
I don't know why people think you're such a ***.
It's totally normal to walk around with a purple grape-flavored *** in your hand and suck on it.
Yeah, maybe not.
All right, on Facebook, I asked you guys to complete the sentence:
"If I met Miley Cyrus I would blank."
I know what you guys are thinking.
"Shane, why would you pick that?
You know everybody's gonna say mean things."
That is not true.
My community on Facebook is a nice, supportive group of loving people.
Yeah, okay, maybe not.
Okay, let's find a nice one.
'If I met Miley Cyrus, I would cry because she is my idol."
Aww.
I'm sure there's more nice ones like that.
What about this one?
"I would *** in her mouth and slap her on the face with a ***."
That's kinda nice.
In some countries, that's considered compassionate.
In Japan, that's like a hug.
What do you think, Milers?
You wanna do that?
-Not right now; we'll see.
-Tease.
On DailyBooth, I asked you guys to show me your best duck face.
Here are some of my favorites.
-I don’t know how this got started
But all you dumb *** look *** retarded
It's not beautiful
It's *** horrible
So take your lips and put it back to normal
Duck face, duck face, duck face, duck face
Why you making that stupid duck face
-Yes, duck face.
Been making girls with ***-up teeth look pretty since 1999.
On YouTube, I searched the comments and I found a couple favorites.
"This 'guy' is a prime example of how humanity has failed."
I wonder what they're talking about.
-[screams]
[whip cracks]
-I don't see it.
All right, last but not least,
here are some sexy-*** *** wearing my Hot Topic shirts.
Oh yeah.
I want all those shirts on my bedroom floor instead of on your underage bodies.
Oh!
Now for the challenge of the week:
I want you to leave the best caption you can for this picture.
I'm expecting greatness from you guys.
And by greatness, I mean really horrible ***-up things that might get me arrested.
Thank you for watching.
Quick announcement:
Next week, there's not going to be a video on my main channel.
I'm going out of town.
But make sure to check into my second channel
'cause you got Ask Shane, you got bunch of videos on my iPhone.
You got my Xtube account.
There's so many things to choose from.
Ooh, by the way, remember the Take 180 video last week,
Greased Twilightnin'?
Well, Part 2 is up right now.
Check it out if you want to see me singing.
You've been warned.
All right you guys, have a good couple weeks.
I will see you next time.
Hey, Miley, wanna get together and...?
-Not right now; we'll see.
-Ohh...tease.
-Clean off your lipstick
And wash your thighs
The ***'s over
It's time to subscribe
That's right
It's time to subscribe
-[retches]